I spoke to friend, who will be titled CS from this point on (abbrev. for Confused Sister) who has made a stupid stupid decision. I knew she would. I told her it was stupid. I am not hiding my feelings from her.
She tells me she is holding on for hope. Hope that he will change. Giving the opportunity that he might pull forth and make the effort.
THIS TIME. How is this time any different from the past times?
CS doesnt want to be alone. CS doesnt want to give up on the hope that it will all be okay. CS enjoys her time with him. CS appreciates their discussions.
Apparently CS forgot hes been brainwashing her for the last xx number of years. Making her believe all sorts of things and then she feels that the trust and honesty can be there again. She lives on hope. Despair. Desparation. Shes lives on a dream. Is it with him, or is it with just anyone?
I told her that I would be there for her, regardless if she is with him or not. Her friendship is important to me and I dont want to let HIM come between a great friendship.
This morning I wondered to myself: If CS was in a physically abusive relationship would I just accept it and let her continue? How is the mental abuse and brainwashing and game playing he is doing any different? Abuse is abuse right?
How is that a person can get to a point in their life that they DO NOT WANT TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE WORTH SOMETHING? Why would you sacrifice your feelings and reputation, your self-worth, your morals... all for someone who has continuously lied and cheated? Why?
At what point do you not wake up to yourself?
At what point do you question yourself and your actions?
2 comments:
CS is living in fear. It sounds like she lost her sense of self and her self-esteem and she is the only one who can re-build that within herself. Sad to say, it will probably take him leaving her for her to be able to move on. At least, that's what it took for me. Continue to show her your love. The lightbulb will go off at some point.
Thanks for your advice Goochick! Maybe I just needed to hear from someone other than myself that I need to keep plugging on with it and not give up on her.
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