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I am a girl/woman/human who has random thoughts. Sometimes you can find me here rambling, other times i might have useful stuff to say. For the most part, my friends and family can see what I might be up to in the days events. Or, for sake of sakes, its all made up... only i know.. and MAYBE a select few of you! Either way~ I am an American living in Australia. Oh, and any photo you see on this blog IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. If I have taken the photo myself or have permission to use it, YOU CAN NOT USE IT FOR YOURSELF. So be warned... and just dont use my damn photos.

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Monday, June 06, 2011

huh

I had always hoped one day you would forgive me. Forgive me for shattering some of those dreams & aspirations of us. I never meant to hurt you.. but time & lives were all different then. They just were.

Im glad things have worked out the way they have. I love my life, and I hope you are happy living yours.  Its obvious we were meant to be together.. because the thought of living the life you lead just seems so restraining to me. Its not where I would want to be.. well esp now that I have seen the other side (grass is always greener, isnt it). I love my freedom, my ability to pack up & go.. my desire to do what I want, with minimal limitations set forth on me... and its okay that we lead different lives. No one said this would be easy.

Its okay that you have a complete different scene that what I do. Its okay that I enjoy my time, being selfish, running around all hours of the day... well into the evening. And, its okay, that you have the more settled family life. I just wish you werent so unhappy. I can hear it in your voice... your miserable. And for that, I am really sorry that you must live each day in some sort of agony of your choices. I have regret & sorrow for you that you havent learned how to be strong enough to stand up and do what is right for you... to take charge of your life... to make sure that you are happy, rather than what makes others happy... I was hoping you may have learned that by now... but no.

I only wish for you happiness.. in whatever form & way you may want. Because really, we should all be able to say that we lived our lives how we wanted too....and in a way which makes us feel whole.