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I am a girl/woman/human who has random thoughts. Sometimes you can find me here rambling, other times i might have useful stuff to say. For the most part, my friends and family can see what I might be up to in the days events. Or, for sake of sakes, its all made up... only i know.. and MAYBE a select few of you! Either way~ I am an American living in Australia. Oh, and any photo you see on this blog IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. If I have taken the photo myself or have permission to use it, YOU CAN NOT USE IT FOR YOURSELF. So be warned... and just dont use my damn photos.

National Geographic Photo of the Day

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Weekend Advice

So while I was minding my own business this weekend… waiting patiently in the aisle to purchase my groceries, I was given ‘advice’ from a complete stranger.

Now, before we go ANY further, its important to note that most often I can have some facial expressions which I do not realize occur. For instance, while I am thinking to myself “are you F***N crazy?” sometimes, it can almost be translated by my expression on my face. Especially if you know me. I usually am unaware of this skill as its happening.

So, back to the aisle. The long checkout aisle. As I wait with my 5 items in my hand and wonder why only 1 person is working the registers on a public holiday and a packed store…. I see a child running all around the front of the store.


It sort of went something like this:

Automatic Doors… run in run out.

Plow into person walking into store who is unaware of the child whose parents are unwilling to acknowledge.

Jump onto the metal railing near the register.

Smack your parent and demand a piece of candy from the stack of goodies eyeing the kid in the face.

Stumble into the person waiting in front of said parent who is unaware that the child is about to run straight up her behind because kid is not being looked after and running into things.

Hit your head on my shopping basket… Oh, didnt I move it as you ran past me for the 12th time as you decided to train for the marathon in the store? Opps. Your bad.

So, this was just a few of the incidents from the child during the short wait to purchase items.

Suddenly, the lady behind me says “Is that your little child?” all innocent and such.

Which started a conversation something like this:

Me: “NO. My child would never behave like that.”

Her: “Ah, its just a bit of fun.”

Me: “No, its not fun, its unruly, and bad behaviour and bad parenting. A kid cant stand still next to the mother for a few moments. Sad really.”

Her: “How many children do you have?”

Me: “None. I have a cat.”

Her: “Oh, its the best thing you can ever do is to have children.”

Me: (Starting to get flushed in the face and trying to contain myself) LAUGHING LAUGHING LAUGHING and then stating, “How do you know whats best for me?  Certainly isnt a child like that? I can think of better things to do with my time & life.”

And then the cashier motions me to her register.

Now, I know, some of you may have children. Actually, I like children. Just not children who are ill-behaved, rude, or not managed by their parents. See, I have this belief that if you want to spill something out of your snatch, you SHOULD really take care of it. Be responsible, teach it about life, priorities, manners, etc. DO NOT EXPECT OR ALLOW OTHERS TO RAISE YOUR CHILD FOR YOU.

Anyway, I was quite offended that some random stranger tells me that having a kid would be the best thing I would ever do in life. For one, you dont know me. You dont know my situation. You dont know my family background. You dont know my finances. You dont have a friggin clue about me. But you know whats best for me? Yeah.

And lets say that I was a person who had a strong desire to have a child. I went to IVF process’ and even adoption agencies. But due to circumstances out of my control, or beyond my bodies capabilities, I was unable to have a child. By birth or otherwise. Dont you think its a bit INSANE or RUDE to be saying the best thing I could do with my life is to have a child. Talk about salt to the wound.

I am not going to get into the reasons I do not have a child. Its personal. Its my business, and I do not have to broadcast it to anyone who I would rather not. But I do think that since I do not have a child at present (aside from my cat) I dont understand why I cant be doing great things with my life. Shit, for all this lady knew, I could have been working on the latest HIV/AIDS serum which would cure her unborn grandson someday…. Im just saying….

So to the lady in the grocery store… You deserve the Fuckwit Award for your comment.. cuz I dont see this as the BEST THING I COULD DO WITH MY LIFE….


Yeah, just not seeing it. And let me live my life. Im certainly not bothering you by how I live it. Now, Im not saying you shouldnt have kids, Im just saying, dont tell me about how my life will be incomplete without them. Cuz frankly, I find my life pretty damn good & fulfilling. Life is what you make of it.

Sunday, April 25, 2010



Can you really be jealous of a picture of 2 cartoon drawings?


They look as if they are running around laughing, skipping away, jumping around…

I cant do any of that. Not at the moment anyway.

And it sucks. Not that I ran much… but you get my point.

My knees are hurting. They have. The process I am on seems to be working, but at the same time.. with this comes pain. And they friggin ache. Good news, Im not falling on my ass or looking like Im drunk anymore as my knees give out. They havent done that in a long time, not since this process started anyway. But they still ache. They kill.

And its making me grumpy. I know this.

And Im sure my friends are family are tired of hearing how my knees hurt, so I have tried to stop saying it. But F**K this pain has got to stop. It hurts to bend them, it hurts to keep them straight for too long.. it just bloody hurts.

And there isnt shit that can be done about it. I relaxed my usage on the pain meds (ibuprofen) trying to give my liver or kidneys or whatever it can damage so badly. I figure with the history of alcoholism in my family I dont really need to be damaging any of those organs more than they might be.

But, I think its time to get back to the grind and pop the pills for a few days. Im just wanting the pain to sub-side for a bit. Just a bit…

Friday, April 23, 2010

YOU BELIEVE IN ME, Jeffrey Gaines cover by Alan Lynes

One of my favorite songs. I have loved this song for many years, it pulls at my heart and I get all teary eyed.  The musician playing, Alan Lynes, does a fantastic cover of this song.

Belated Birthday Wishes

Today I was reading someone’s blog. They wrote how they forgot they had forgotten the birthday of their own blog, and was thankful they didnt have kids, as they probably would have forgotten the kids’ bday as well.

Shit. I missed my own blog’s 2 year bday. Yep, March 10 2008 this all began. And here it is 23 April 2010 and I only just know remember. Worst yet, I remember ONLY because some other person did the same thing. Ouch.

Naughty me.

In the 2 years of this blog, its been thru dramas, laughter, pressing moments, happy times, anger, sad and lonely moments. But, thru it all, have been my readers. Thanks.  I love that you check in on me.

Happy Birthday Blog!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Cuz its funny. Thats why.

You know when you get a postcard, and it has some interesting facts about either the photo on the card, or the town where the card is from?

Check out this postcard (I had to crop it as it is someone’s personal postcard, and I didnt think they really wanted me to post all their mushy details to all of you)-


It says: “Madison, Wisconsin     Easy to find, hard to believe”

ABSOL LOVE IT.  I dont know why, but I find that damn funny. Is it just me? The catch phrase is fantastic… so fantastic that I think Im going to walk around all day and repeat those damn words.. and then LAUGH Laugh LAUGH really loud!


It seems that whether its friends or workers, or the check out chick at the store.. we all judge a bit. We all make a choice in the selection of people who want to surround us.

For instance, if there 2 Check Out Chicks at CashMeGo’s foodstore waiting to help me and 1 of them looks like she has no care in her appearance and has stringy greasy hair, and the other 1 has snot dripping down her nose and continues to rub her wrist over her nose to catch the snot… which one do you go to?

Cause here is my rationalization on that issue:

Girl 1: stringy greasy hair means she may have overslept for her job and couldnt wash her head. Or, like in Australia, I found out women with LONG hair tend to not wash it everyday as we do in the USA… mostly every few days. Eck. ECK. EEEECCCKKKK. anyway, culture difference moving on.  Maybe she is studying to be a doctor and was doing her internship at the hospital all night, and this is her job to put her thru school. Or maybe she just is nasty and doesnt like to look her best, or for that matter, hygienic, for her job.

Girl 2: lovely, please touch my money, my groceries, my bag, etc… please… and while your there with that snotty hand, go on, give me my receipt.  There are no excuses. Use a tissue damnit. Your touching my stuff… EEEECCCKKK.

So, what do you? You drop your selection of goodies on the floor, or walk away from the cart and run out of the store screaming… EEEECCKKKK while waving your hands in the air back and forth.

Ok, maybe not. But wouldnt it be great to see one of these signs one day…


Friday, April 16, 2010

Take another little piece of my heart…


Somedays do you ever just sit and wonder how far in life you have become? Looking back at the different relationships, and why you were there, and why you left?  It sometimes seems so surreal when I look back and ‘analyze’ life and my actions within my own life.

Then, I look at others, and wonder what impact I have had on their life. Such as:

Does the idiot who I broke up with because the only motivation he had was to get high, and get laid (not always just by me either)… did he ever grow up out of that. Did he finally stop beating his girlfriends?

Or, how about the young girl who thinks Im older than the hills and wont listen when you give her advice. Without shattering the facade of her life, you try to be there and listen, and offer help. She denies it. You wish she would realize that the path shes travelling isnt a healthy one. She will learn in her own time. Yet, will that be before or after her life altering decisions come winding down the path like a Mack truck. And then, when it does, will she even comprehend that THIS very moment was what you were talking about?

Then theres the person you worked with years ago. You partied hard, had great laughs, and always enjoyed the days that they were scheduled with that person on the same shift. You shared so much with that person. The perils of life. The shit job gossip. The dreams you had. The relationship issues you had with your current man. The way your family judged. So much was shared. And now, a million miles away, and years of not knowing what the hell they are up to, do you wonder if they ever think back to those times. Those times when life seemed so difficult, and yet, it was the time of our lives, living it up and thinking we were invincible. Does your ex-coworker ever think of those times? Those times when your 8 hour shift seemed to be easier cuz you could laugh with someone every now and then.

janisjoplinphotoIts odd to see how many people come & go into your life. And when you realize how many peoples lives you have come & gone from. The reason why you came into it, the reason why you left it. And all those lives that you dont even remember enough stuff to think twice about all those years later.

Well, today, I thought of you. I thought of my lost friends who have passed on in a variety of ways. Those who now lead a different path than myself. And, yes, I even thought of the loser boy who I once was prepared to give up everything to be with, because at the time, I thought that was what I wanted.

And, now, tonight, after a few Capt’n & Cokes… I realize.. I am better for knowing all of them, and Im better for not speaking to at least HALF of them. And, I am content in knowing that I made a difference in some of the lives I was in as well. I know that most of the people who I encountered and shared my life with for whatever amount of time, they have taught me something. Some taught me more than others. Either way, they helped me.

So, to all those friends… alive or dead.. cheers to you. And although we may not call each other friends anymore, shit, we might not even think of each other anymore (not even in memory stories we tell), I thank you for your influence in my life.

For you, having been in my life, have taken another little piece of my heart… and for that, I am thankful. For you have helped me shape me.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Last night I watched a tv show where people switch lives with another person and have to live with that persons family for 2 weeks. The first week they have to live my the rules in place. The second week they can modify the rules and the ‘adopted’ household have to live per the new rules.  Sometimes its an interesting show, sometimes it just another crap bit of tv.

Last night it was pretty good. A lady whose lifestyle means she wants for nothing has switched with a freeganism lifestyle. WHOA. WHAT?

So Lady 1 (L1) lives in a nice house, kids, husband, and the ethic of working is very real. And, because they have the nice house and apparent high paying jobs, they pay a shit load of taxes. Sounds familiar right?

Lady 2 (L2) lives in a small motorhome with her husband and 1 child.  They have a job (thats what they call it). They go and preach the word of GOD to people on the streets and then hope they are given a donation of money. They live by what GOD provides.

So L1 & L2 switch lives. They have no idea what they are up for until they walk into the door of the new home.  Imagine the surprised looks. One has a look of “I would not use this to travel on holidays in” and the other has a look of “ANTI CONSUMERISM at its best, over indulgence and selfish living”.

I knew it would be good tonight!

What I didnt expect was that the 2 ladies and their families were civil about their lifestyles & values to the other individual. I dont recall an argument (common on the show) or a slagging of words party. Instead, Mr Businessman (L1 husband) tries to ask what sort of contribution L2 brings to the society she is supp trying to help. L2 says she is spreading the word of GOD and he provides. He asks her if  she doesnt work and does not provide trade of goods for cash etc, what happens when she or anyone in the ‘community’ (which is really a group of people in motorhomes who camp out at the local parks every night) gets sick.. what do they do? L2 explains they use the national health system. This, doesnt go down well. Mr Businessman wants to know why she feels its okay to use it, when she doesnt pay taxes. Afterall, he spends a bucket on taxes, and she spends nothing. No income. No taxes. He feels she shouldnt have access to what others who are working to have should be able to use. He also feels that because she doesnt work, her kid shouldnt be attending the same school that others who do contribute to the economy should. Afterall, why should she get the same benefits as those who contribute to the economy. Especially after she rants on about anti consumerism and the evils of it, and the pride she feels of not having to take part in such tasks. She explains that she feels empowered to life off of what GOD provides.

Provides? She digs in dumpsters for food. GOD didnt provide that for you. If you have to go in the middle of the night and scavenge without permission, its not being provided for you.


L1 is trying to adapt to the lifestyle of freeganism. She explains she would feel better if they had permission to take the food if they are not buying it. Which apparently is not allowed to do. You cant ask for things. Remember, GOD provides. And so, GOD provides these people with the food which if caught, could end them in jail. See.. thats stealing. But somehow, GOD provides it.


L1 attitude was highly respected by myself. She had a lot of concern for the child who is embarrassed by how his parents live. He cant have friends over to his place. He hasnt been invited to parties, because he can never buy a present for his buddys bday. Etc. Eventually, L1 throws the kid a birthday party for his 10th bday.. his first bday cake ever, first celebration with people who are there for his special day. The kid is over the moon. He is thrilled someone thought so well of him to throw him a party.

And, he has a pet mouse (thinking Wilbur yet?). He explains its the only pet he can really have in such a small space.

L2 obviously is having a difficult time with spending money on groceries. She hates the waste of food. Always saying that wasting the food affects the global environment.

Honey.. you living off everyone else’s handouts affects the global environment as well.

L2 takes her new family garbage dumping… freeloading.. whatever. Mr Businessman is shocked by the wastage of companies, but expresses that if this is so OK why are they doing it in the night, and why does the law consider this an offence. L2 rants about anti consumerism and blah blah blah.

Finally everyone sets back into their normal routines. L1 and her husband begin minimizing wastage at their house as to earlier lifestyle choices. They also have started a food drive for those less fortunate from the restaurants and bakeries in town helping.

L2 and her husband, well, they upgraded their motorhome and continued to discuss how they do not need jobs in the traditional sense. They feel they are doing the greater good.

They walk the streets and hand out pamphlets. Seriously.

L1 & her family bought L2 son a computer. They felt it important for the boy to have some interaction with his school like normal kids do. They also didnt want his schooling to be disadvantaged because of how his parents choose to live.

The show got me thinking. And for once, it was nice to see 2 different sides of life try to integrate into each other without all the temper tantrums, and so forth. Civil people with vastly different ideals trying to communicate. Interesting….

Saturday, April 10, 2010

City of Statues?

The other week I had to venture to my nearest “major city” for some government stuff. So, off on the train we go, set for the train ride which could either be from hell or liveable, all depending who is on the train, and if the vast majority decided to be presentable and shower for the event.

Seemed as all went well, there were 2 kids (ok, teenagers) who were a bit rude, but I think everyone just let them be and the teenagers thought they were all cool with their foul language and rude behaviour. However, had their parents been on the train, I think we would have all looked at them in disgust and shook our finger at their bad parenting ‘skills’.

But, smell wise, not so bad. You can tell we have had lots of rain lately, as everyone seems to shower (lots of people on tank water, and laziness too!) anyway, lots of people tend to show more when we have a few days/weeks of rain.

So, we venture into the city.. and I didnt realize that in the spot which I frequent when I need to do this government stuff is the amount of statues within my area.  I knew there were a few, but hadnt realized just how many. 

Obviously, a tribute to the servicemen & servicewomen.






And heres a little photo of some of the buildings…


I love this photo… its so cool how an older looking style of building can exist among the more modern business style buildings.


Great night out

So, a few weeks ago, we had tickets to a fantastic show which airs on TV here in Australia. Its called RockWiz… and its basically a music trivia show. Plain & Simple, you either know it or you dont… if your a RockWiz fan, you ARE A FAN. If your not, you havent a clue what Im on about at the moment.

Either way, its a fantastic show with great talent, and 2 special guests (celebrity status) who are on stage with 4 people from the audience to answer a variety of questions. Some weeks I feel really intelligent, and other weeks.. well, other weeks I feel as if I have no musical credibility at all.

The show is on tour of the nation. Tickets for the show we attended sold out in 3 days. Amazing! 



It was such a fantastic night! I went with 3 of my favorite people as well, and the night was magnificent! 


Thursday, April 08, 2010

I am here...

Im just wandering thru the thoughts & emotions lately....and to be honest.. havent really had a moment to myself, and those moments I have had.. Ive been busy just being.  So.. I will write tomorrow... promise!