I have shed tears after a days work in a long time. They werent painful tears, but tears of complete exhaustion. I had absol no more to give. In fact, I wanted to cry at my desk at work. Frustrated and wanting to just throw something (out of my character) I had a few moments were I said my peace, loudly, and one of the times it just so happened the boss heard. Normally, I would have tried to compose myself. Or, IF I really wanted to say my bit, I would have made sure the boss wasnt there so I could just vent. But I had no more to give. I didnt care if he heard me. Honestly, you reach that point where you just think, “F**K it, deal with it, you dont like it, well today I dont give a shit. You need to know how this is going”
And he heard.
And pretended like nothing was happening. In fact, in some bizarre twist to my day, he went and screwed with EVERYTHING I had organized for a smooth sailing at work tomorrow. You know, deliveries scheduled and contacted; drivers booked for particular jobs; employees knowing what was happening so that everyone was properly informed; etc.
Im not sure if I bruised his ego or he was shitty with my comments, and this was his way of getting back at me. I dont know. And I almost didnt care. I had, for lack of better terms, given up for the day. I was fighting every urge in me to not lay in the fetal position at work and cry myself into a nice calming place. I dont get like that often, and for those of you who read this that know me in real life, you know that I had reached my peak. I can not give anymore. I couldnt muster a nice word or smile. I couldnt hear another bullshit reason for anything.
So, I left work 15 minutes past my normal knock off time. I got to the end of the street (ironically, there is a cemetery at the corner) and turned right and let the tears flow.
My salvation tonight was one man.
Thank you Captain!