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I am a girl/woman/human who has random thoughts. Sometimes you can find me here rambling, other times i might have useful stuff to say. For the most part, my friends and family can see what I might be up to in the days events. Or, for sake of sakes, its all made up... only i know.. and MAYBE a select few of you! Either way~ I am an American living in Australia. Oh, and any photo you see on this blog IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. If I have taken the photo myself or have permission to use it, YOU CAN NOT USE IT FOR YOURSELF. So be warned... and just dont use my damn photos.

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Time to Dust off

So, I have taken the time to thrash my heart all over the floor (not just due to the man thing, but sometimes when life gives you 1 moment of ache, the rest just sort of tumbles along with it). I think I might actually be ready to pick up all the pieces of my heart and glue it back together. Good news? At least I didnt give it away and lose it...

I have said my "last words" so that i felt better to those who I felt needed to hear it. For those who have in the last few days whom have also destroyed my heart and not heard the words... its no use, thats why you havent heard it. I have given up on it.

I had come to the conclusion a long time ago, but every now and then i need a reminder. Basically, its your shit, you deal with it. If your not going to deal with, why should I? Why should I put my emotions on the line and let my heart ache over YOUR SHIT if you wont accept the pain as well? Why shall I be the only one to carry the burden....i am not Jesus. I will not die for your sins either. Grow Up. Suck It Up. Move On.

It may sound cold-hearted. It might possibly be a defense mechanism. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and every now and then it really gets torn about. Its hard to recover from that. I think after a brief mourning period of the ache of my heart (and the knots in my stomach hopefully due to tension and not an illness) I am able to stand up and conquer again. After all, I am ME, and you can not keep me down. Many have tried, Many have failed. I will just change my game-plan. Too bad for you..... You Lost.

Thankfully, I think I am over the last few weeks of "shit which has all piled on top of itself at once". I am sure things only come in 3's, but I know I lost track when I just buried my head in the pillow.... Im really hoping its over tho.

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