Prob not in my best mood, but still going good. Just needed to laugh a bit and I would have pulled out of my "funk". Arrive at B's place and he states: "We have 20 minutes to get to dinner. They stop serving at 8". My thoughts? stop serving at 8? no restaurant stops at 8. im not really that hungry. B always discusses food. We can be eating and hes already discussing the next meal. Did he starve as a child? I like my food, but geez.. i do know that i am capable of getting the next meal so there really isnt a need to strive for the next one. This isnt Africa Im living in, food is readily available. I find out we are heading to the local pub. Granted its prob a bit more upscale than your average pub. But to me, its still a pub. It just happens to be next to a Marina and a shitload of boats and its squashed in between high rises. You cant see shit on the water cuz, remember its almost 8... the dinner sucked. Im sure I ordered Satay Chicken but i had a hard time finding satay sauce..and its certainly shouldnt be runny sauce substance. B orders a steak and inhales the damn thing. Oh, before this, while waiting for the meal, he has a whinge about his week (he's been gone during the week at work). And he whinges some more. And more. I politely, yes people, politely, tell him hes whinging an awful lot. and remind him hes not at work now. I try to change the conversation. He still seems to whinge. By this point, Im trying really hard to convince myself to hang in there and that the mood is prob me. Its not, but Im trying really hard to not do the usual "i cant be stuffed dealing with this" and running.
We look at two boats on the harbour dock. He asks which one i prefer. I tell him the one on the left. He tells me thats a bad choice. He can sail the one on the right. Apologies but i could have sworn he asked for my opinion. He talk non-stop. About himself. When i first met him, I told everyone "hes very talkative" and everyone said this was a good thing. I tended to not really think so, but took it in stride and tried to ease up on it a bit. I then realized that everyone who was telling me it was a good thing that he was so chatty, was married, or been with their partner since the Titanic... and that, well, they prob dont talk to the other one as much as they like. Im not them. And, they didnt quite know HOW much he chatted. Its endless. Its always about him lately. ACK!
I hang out at his place for a bit. Hes tired. Hes driven back up the coast that night from work, golfed, and now hes full and hes tired. Where did I leave the violin? better yet, where oh where did i leave the number for the string quartet? I worked too. I socialized. I did a shitload of stuff during the week. I didnt golf, no. But the point is, B made the plans for Friday. Not me. If he was going to be so tired, why not take Saturday as i suggested. Why listen to me?
I make a dash for it and head home. Shower. The ugliness is off me. I begin to think I have had enough. Good while it lasted, but not something that i can really deal with. Maybe the fact that he never got off his ass and filed the legal documents for a divorce from his wife is really playing on me. He and her havent been together for like 10 years, he doesnt know where she even lives. I dont date married men. In this country there are heaps of men and woman who are seperated, not divorced, all for various reasons (mainly lazy) and it annoys the shit out of me. If your done with it, be done. If you have issues with it, deal with it. Dont bring it with you. I am beginning to think that at this point, however much i didnt think it would really bother me, is REALLY an issue with me. I dont think I need to deal with that baggage. It bothers me. I am a bit tired of putting in the effort, and I still want to be dazzled a bit, its still early in all of this. Dazzle me. Make me feel like a million bucks. I dont and wont work harder than another for all of this. Afterall, I am content in my own space. I do know that every relationship needs attention, work, etc but maybe I would like to see consistency from B ..... and then after tonight.... I am not so sure.
He messages me in the morning. Hes golfing this afternoon. Lets meet up. No, Im busy. Thought I told him that. In fact, I know I told him that. I have to go and shop for my Tassie hats. Which, on a sidenote, I got some really cool hats from GONE BONKERS today. Love that shop. Did you all know that I LOVE THAT SHOP. Tilda does too... she even proclaimed it loudly in the store in the 2nd to last row. The other lady in the aisle agreed and mentioned something about 'ya, where else would you find a farting bottle opener?'. Personally, I didnt know they had them, but now I do. See, they have EVERYTHING! Oh yeah, sorry... about B.. so at this point, I dont care if i see him again or hear from him. I cant be bothered. I will, if he calls, give it a few hours and meet up with him. But as it sits now, its really in the ALL TO HARD BASKET.
i have had to make plans with T. Had a nice dinner, only embarrassed me a few times, thank goodness it was a small town and no one prob noticed. I really didnt think that i would have to explain to someone of an "adult" age that the little bowl on the table filled with salt, is actually salt. And, oh by the way, no... i mean NO proper restaurant displays the wine list on the wall. Seriously? Am I on a different planet than everyone else lately?
French restaurant. Nice food, but Im not sure if i would really go back again. Packed for a little town. Expensive. Esp for a little town. T is paying as it was arranged earlier due to previous encounters. Before heading out to his place, he calls to ask me to pick up some beer for him for after dinner. I thought he wasnt drinking anymore. Apparently its only during the week that hes not drinking. Funny that... if you have to put stipulations on it, would you not be an addict? Whatever I dont care. More reasons to fullfil the "this is why we are only friends" list in case he decided to ask again. To be a bit of a bitch, I tell him he owes me the cash. I am not a bank. I am not going to support your habit. I have my own habits to deal with. Fuck off.
I venture home. Figured I would be home by 9, i was. Thank goodness. Enough has been enough. I stagger across the driveway to Firestick J's place and say hello. I walk in, exhausted with the struggle of men over the last few nights and think that i am better off single. I enjoy me more when I am single. Life seems to be less complicated. Firestick J has a house full of men. The cameras are going off, suddenly I am standing there in a lineup of men and the camera is flashing. Smile! Um, what? I look over and this cute little boy (okay so hes mid 20's but remember B is 41, so Darling Dale is a boy tonight to me) is standing there being all cute and half naked ironing in his boxers. Who is this? Firestick J has just met him as well. Hes a friend of a friend whose BBQ died and they ended up at her place to BBQ. Drinks, laughs, stories, and I felt full of life again.
All I wanted as of friday was a good laugh to pull me out of my funk. Who would have ever thought it would actually be Darling Dale half naked and me giving ironing assistance (Team effort) to him which would pull me out of a funk. Ah... its great when life is back to simple again. Then again, theres nothing more attractive than a man with tatts ironing.
As for now, I am going to settle in bed, nice clean sheets, and think of a great day ahead of me tomorrow.