Dear new person at work,
Although its great that you changed your desk around in your office, which Im sure is so that you can better bask in my beauty, I do have a complaint.
When you blow your nose, could you at least give it a proper blow? This pansy crap of you trying to be quiet isnt working. Its not quiet. We can still hear you. And, do you know whats worse? Well, the fact that your nose blowing takes longer cuz your trying to not blow as hard, but instead, we can more vividly hear your nose bubbles gathering around in your nostril.
Give it a good blow and be done. Be a man. Hell, a 3 year can give a better nose blow, assisted.