Happy 10 years

Today would have seen me celebrating my 10 year anniversary IF I had gotten hitched all those years ago.  Its a day I guess I always remember -  spent a lot of time preparing for the big day and planning to spend my life with someone.  That obviously didnt happen the way it was scheduled.

I do find some rather odd humor in the photo all this years later… Who would have thought that visiting The Great Divide would turn out to be the perfect headline later on!

(I should not be laughing, but I cant help it.. sorry)

I dont have any regrets over not attending my own damn wedding. Honestly.  I think about how my life could be different had I gone thru with the wedding, but Im not sure it would be something that I would have liked. 

You can never know what you missed out on.

But, I do know that I have had a great experience and journey over the last 10 years, much that would not have been able to be done had I been married.  I guess I have enjoyed the last 10 years, and I have really gotten to know me – Who I Am – What I Stand For – What I Desire -  

I cant imagine now being married at such a young age. There was so much to learn in my later 20’s that I couldnt have learned about myself had I been married. How could I have learned those things? Impossible. When you share your life with someone, you take on their stuff, their responsibilities..and the 2 of you learn to become a couple.  The reality was that I was still learning what it was that was ME.

I have always wished my ex well in life. And he has moved on as well. He now has a new bride, some kids, and settled into his life I guess. My path has been very different. Still single, no kids, and not settling for just anyone.

So, congrats to me.. on 10 years of a very smart decision. I am very proud that I had the courage that day to end that stage of my journey. To hand back the ring and all it stood for – so that I could stand for what I have become. 

To hell with it

Dating sucks. To hell with the morals. To hell with the ethics. To hell with doing what is right. Im just gonna go out and get laid.  This relationship stuff isnt fuckin worth it.

Serious.

Opps.. I think Im drooling on myself

OH MY GOODNESS... Limited Edition? Damn it, it probably means its not coming to Australia... but Pop Tarts... LOVE EM.... Pumpkin Pie? LOVE EM... together.. OH MY!~!!!!!

Wonder if there is anyone back in the US I could scam to send some this way?  Or, maybe one of those bloggers who USE to live in OZ and is now back in the US would be up for a trade?????? See, I could trade you some cheesy vegemite or weetbix or something? 

Ok, now I just sound desperate.  But, in all seriousness... has anyone tried these?

Back Soon

We will resume our normal scheduled programming shortly.

I dont know.. been busy.. tired, anxious, exhausted, frustrated, joyous, insane, and a bit lazy.

Go figure.

I have also had some personal issues with family, and as much as I have wanted to write about it here, I just cant... my luck it would be the ONE fucking time they decide to see what Im up to. And then WWIII would start, and really, I dont have the desire or the energy to deal with it anymore.  Basically, I have handled it my own way, and Im relatively (get the pun) okay with that. I prefer to deal with things head on and let people know what my issue is with them, as I would prefer they deal with me in that way as well. But, sometimes, in order to keep the peace or just let the situation die.. its better to deal with it as you choose. And really, they are so self-involved anyway, I doubt they would one bit understand or try to see my side of the situation. So tough shit. Be done with it, right? Then why do I still have this built up anger about it?  Just need to find a different avenue to let it go!

My knees are acting up again, the change in weather isnt really helping. Neither was my over-indulgence in that damn dinosaur ellipitical thing. That certainly didnt help. I felt all guilty, and was feeling my chubby bits one day and decided that yeah, go for it, get back on it and do it. Bad choice.. the next day my knees let me know that they were not strong enough for that sort of torture. I guess I should have listened to my Italian Stallion aka physio.  Got it now. Lesson Learned. Loud & Clear.

Top it off, i hate that my annoying neighbors have renewed their lease. I mean, I really hate it. They hate living here, and Im not sure why they choose to live here ANOTHER year. Damn stupid people. I will have to look at ways to 'assist' in the current surroundings there.... maybe some louder music to counteract her constant door slamming? As one of them are music teachers, they really REALLY seem to hate it when I play music... doesnt matter what it is - Jack Johnson, Eagles, Pantera, Meditation... you name it, she goes into instant crazy bitch. In fact, she does that a lot. No matter what.  So, I guess shes just a crazy bitch.  I will have to find fun little ways to torment them.  Last year, as they were just married and supp to be in  some wedded bliss state, they seemed to fight constantly. And thats all i could here. The reasoning of SHUT YOUR DAMN WINDOW when screaming at each other and throwing tantys... they just couldnt see the sense in it.. so they let eveyone know they were miserable. I admit it... it was me who flooded their mailbox with divorce info as well as random business cards of counsellors. Counsellors leave their business cards EVERYWHERE in ANY business.. so they were easy to come by.. I might have to try some sort of technique like that again soon.

What else? Im doing alright, just not wanting to indulge in other peoples shit. And yet its there. Oh well. Thats life.

Relationship? Well, the 'newer' guy is back from his 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off job thing. Im sure we will catch up while hes home.. we have plans to.. but typical man style.. he will call me when he arrives back here (tomorrow I think?) and then we will sort the details out. Apparently, its a woman  thing to PLAN.. or I just seem to get really busy.. so I NEED to plan.. and yeah, I am a control freak.. so lets not venture that path tonight.  I am in contact with someone else as well. Thats just in the email stages of things. He has a kid.. 1 years old... so I need to get some more info on whether or not he really is single or if he is in the 'separated' stage with the kids mom. Makes a big difference to me.  But so far, he seems nice.  Oh, and  54 yr old man wanted to 'know more about me' (its one of the options on the  dating website). 54 ... so I wonder if while Im busy at work all day would he be home cooking and cleaning and such? and of course, 2 more Indians showed interest.... I double checked that my profile doesnt state.. LOOKING FOR OLDER MEN.. or INDIANS ONLY APPLY.. .. and it seem pretty normal and straight forward..but somehow I must be on the hot list for these particular groups. Funny stuff.

Hey, what do you know? We resumed back to normal programming!

Dixie Chicks ~ "Ready to Run" (Better Quality)

So the 'anniversary' of what WOULD have been my wedding anniversary is coming upon us! Yep, once upon a time, I was thinking I would be one of those happily married people, with a white picket fence, and some kids, and a career, and all that warm fuzzy stuff.

And then, I came to my senses. And I listened to this song A LOT. And I ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And never looked back.

Thank you to 'you who know who' as my life certainly would not be as kick ass as it would have been had I not ran my ass off, away...

Guns N' Roses - November Rain