Preoccupied...

First things first: I made a minor threat to my little cousin, who we will just call "cutie" as I have called her that from day 1 of her life.. and she is.. shes my little cutie. Well, shes almost as tall as me... and with the right pair of shoes on shes taller. Point is: she followed thru with her end of the bargain, so I promise you cutie, I will hold up my end of the deal... but you might have to give me a few days on it. One cant just go snap happy with the camera, as it might be to obvious! Have faith little one, I will deliver! I loved chattin to you tho today.. miss ya heaps and wish we were just hanging out for the day together. I still cant believe its been a year already.

Okay, second note: we went to the local street festival today. Quaint is a good description. The town isn't all that big, so not much really happened, but its always good to support the locals, right? I did however see this guy again...

My next thought takes us to why I might be slackin on telling the latest gossip regarding the love life.. but due to recent events, i.e. phone call and dad heading home for a visit, I might fess up now so you all get the story correct. For bloggin sake, lets call the man Orville.. he may not want his identity tossed around in my twisted little Internet saga, so from now on we can just refer to him as Orville.

I have known Orville for a month, and he consumes my thoughts. He is very gentle and very kind. He actually has manners! My running joke in my love life has always been: "It would be so nice if they had a job, a car, and somewhere to live other than the parents place"...well, Jackpot! I know, I don't ask for much, really in the grand scheme of things I am easy to please (no snickering...). Joking aside, hes really nice and I love being around him. We can chat forever and hes got the eyes that could melt you in an instant. I was taken with him the minute I met him. It amazes me how many duds you have to go thru to get a good gumdrop sometimes. I think I might have found a good gumdrop in the bag. He can make me smile with his laugh, his wit, his odd sense of geekiness (which he self-proclaims), he creative talents, and in general, I just cant get enough of him. I love that he is kind, he listens, he makes me feel important. In fact, I feel like I have known him for much longer than I actually have. Its very odd and strange, but I am really enjoying being with him.

Oh, and he knows of the blog. So, remember, all comments moderated... for my own safety! Ha!

Seriously tho, at the moment, I am really enjoying my time with him and I think we get on pretty good. Grandma, in her usual style, lit a candle for me. Poor candles, I think I have gone thru more church candles being lit for my love life than imaginable.. but gotta love grandmas faith.. she keeps on burning them. Do you think she buys them in bulk? Or are they available on the frequent shoppers discount card?

On a different note I received an email today from someone. The email read this:

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters,

who never did,

who won't anymore,

and who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Give this heart to everyone you don't want to lose in 2008.

I am sorry, but I think that's the biggest load of shit I have heard in a day or so. Yes, I really do hear that much shit spittle from peoples mouths. I do believe that you reach a point in your life when you sort who is important and impacted your life. I do NOT however believe that people, no matter how shallow I or they may have been, at some point didn't matter. Why would I have them in my life if at SOME POINT they didn't matter... that would be stupid. I have much better things to do than to hang out with people who are meaningless to my world or situation. They, at least on some MINOR level mean something to me, for any sort of reason. Then it says to not worry about people from my past.. well, I don't agree with that either. Maybe in a literal sense I dint worry about the past people who encountered my life, but I do think of them occasionally. Why wouldn't you? In some sense, either in a small sector or a large spectrum they have impacted my life. At different times, each of those people who I have taken to be a part of my life, no matter how big or little of a time they spent in my life, helped create the person I am. Or, I helped create the person they are. Maybe they do or think a particular way because of an impact I made on their lives. Maybe I do or think a particular way because of an event, lesson learned, or the way they lived their life, that possibly, I have adapted into me being me.

I know, its a tangent. After all, its only an email. But it truly makes me wonder how shallow some people can be. I think its important to remember what you have learned from others, big or small. I cant think of the exact saying at the moment, but its something like: "It might have just been the hello and smile you gave me in passing, but for that, YOU saved me from a tragic event, because someone acknowledged me".

I think we need to remember how we impact others. Each little action you do, which you might not find as a BOLD statement in your life, might actually affect someone in passing. You can make a difference with a smile. I know that when I see an elderly person and smile with a hello attached to it, they usually strike up a mini conversation. They, in response to my smile and hello, and have made my day. They have given me a moment of their time, and I have given them a moment of mine. Do I wonder about them, as it says in the email?

Yeah, sometimes.

I remember meeting the man who was the Talking Christmas Tree in the Shopko mall in St.Cloud during my childhood...his gentle soul and voice stayed with me forever. When I encountered him years later as an adult in a store I was working in and recognized his voice. I asked him if I knew him.. he told me he was the Talking Christmas Tree.. my eyes lit up and it was a magical moment. He and I sat on the curb and chatted and he told me stories of the good ol days and how much he loved his job at Christmas time, making the kids smile. I told him of my memories of that time as well. At the end of our chat, he hugged me and thanked me for helping him remember a time filled with happiness for him.

Do I still think of the old man who was shopping at Walgreen's that day? You bet. And so many more people I am sure of this, think of the Talking Christmas Tree. I thankfully, met the man behind the scenes.

Take from what you will from the email. Interpret it whatever way you wish. I for one, think its a load of rubbish. If you want to forget those in the past, do you not lose some of yourself in that journey? Remember the little things. Life is too short to not love how your living and love who you have become.