Whats a girl to do?

So, I feel as if I took about 10 step backwards toward a goal today. You might think that “oh well, pick your self up and get back on track”

Cant.

Today’s events were so out of my control its not even imaginable.

Feeling exhausted.

I feel as if I have been punched out by Mike Tyson.

Flat. Fucked. Fucked.

It was really nice in my dearest friend called and shared in my low point, gave me the much needed sympathy, and just listened to my story, and she felt for me. Its great to know that shes really a friend, a true friend.. she proves it to me so many times.  Cherished. :)

And my mom, she was great and supportive.. clear thinking and was like “ well, lets start again, we will get this done and wait again..”

It was like when you were a kid, and you couldn’t wait to ride your bike.. you waited for the rain to stop, and you finally got out there. Day after day, your mom ran behind you making sure the bike didnt tip, and helping you get started with a push. And then she let go…. and you did great. Days and weeks go by and your doing fine. Then, one day.. today… I feel off the bike. Scratched my knee to hell, and cried like a baby with exhaustion. ( Metaphorically anyway, I wasnt really riding a bike).  Remember when your mom use to pick you up and dust the gravel out of your knee and then help you get back on after you wiped the tears.

Thats what my mom did today for me. She helped me up, wiped the gravel and off we went.. to redo the shit paperwork we already did.. but need to redo.  Im not sure if I could have handled it today if she wasnt there. Thanks mom!

To make it better.. we have a dear friend visiting.. and today is her first day of her vacation with us… and this was the hotspot I had to take her too…

And no, Im not in trouble.. just another set of fingerprints after waiting 3 bloody months for a particular agency to tell me that they were ‘illegible’ and I needed to have them redone. Seriously, I can not put my feelings to paper… there just are not words to translate how I am feeling. 

Anyway, thanks for those that were there for me today. Your kind words did help… and I cant wait to celebrate when this is all stamped & approved…