Joe Cocker "Lets go get stoned"

Cuz its been raining for days... thinking of woodstock.. and all the times of life ..

For you

Im in a bit of a struggle at the moment.  I have some really deep feelings that have surfaced again, regarding someone special in my life.  When I lived in the states, times & circumstances didnt allow us to be together, but my heart always held him so dear.  He makes me smile, he makes me feel safe, he makes me feel as if nothing in the world exists but him & I.  And, as time does.. life goes on.  And you drift apart. Thats how things go.

Catch up to years later... and here we are again... back in touch. Except Im here.. he is there. Worlds apart. Lives are different now.. he has kids and a girlfriend ... I dont want to mess things up with any of that, regardless how shitty the relationship he & she have.. they still have kids together. And, for that reason alone, its damn good thing I live in another country.  If I lived there, I know that I would struggle with not having him in my life. And, I know that she probably would not like us being friends.  And yeah, friends it would be. Im not about to ever break anyone up.. or a family... thats not me. But, some women have this idea that their man cant be friends with someone from thier past.  So, it woudl be so difficult to have the friendship we do have if I lived there.  And, with some contentment, its nice that Im way over here, able to be friends, with no threat to her, and still have him in my life. In my circle of loved people.

He was such an important person to me so long ago. We have a history together. Its deep. We both helped each other thru some pretty tough times, and both knew how to make each othe smile.  There were things that I shared with him, that no one else knew. I thought I would always have to carry the burden of that shit by myself.. but he allowed me to share things, without placing judgement, without gossiping, without making me feel that I had done bad. Instead, he comforted me, he gave advice, he listened, he was there.. and that was more than anyone else in my life was.. he was there for me. And is today.

I love you my friend.

He wants me to build a time machine. I laughed when he said that. Now.. its all I think about - how cool it would be to have him near me.

I cherish each moment we have had together in this world. Thank you for being you.

The Minnesota Song

For all my Minnesota friends & family.. your with my in spirit on this hot & humid Australia Christmas season! Love to everyone... Merry Christmas.

so slack

so its been forever and a day since i last did a post. sorry. where do I begin? My modem was acting up, my phone kept dying, I have been crazily trying to get all my work done so that we could go on holidays (we close up for a few weeks due to the weather & holidays here in Oz), and just in general have been really busy.

New curtains hung in my room~ they go over the blinds, and really help keep that sun from peeking into my room at 5 am, so Im able to sleep in until 6 on my days off! Yippee. Extra bonus? They have a backing on them to help with keeping the room cooler, so Im not letting all that cool air escape when the A/C is on... nice hey?

Its been hot as anything here. Humidity is crazy. Somedays you get out of the shower and think, Im sure I just showered, but you feel all sticky and drip with sweat. Not a nice look... but the prize is that you know your not the only one feeling that way.

We seem to have company coming from here there and everywhere for the next few weeks. Or months. Depending on how you look at it.  Its great, its crazy, its fun.  And, trying to make sure all your bits are done before they arrive... well, I will let you know how that one goes when I discover what its actually like to have my list done.  Rearranging the house to make an actual extra bedroom rather than the place where the cat sleeps and calls her own.  Moving her futon & fav chair out of the room did NOT earn me any bonus points with the cat. For the first time in 2 weeks, she finally decided to sleep in the OTHER room (where the futon is temp placed) and lay in her usual dipped/ body shaped location on the futon - she just couldnt resist it anymore.  But, Im still dealing with glares and noisy frustrations from her.  Seriously....

My house looks as if I have 30 projects all needing to be done at once.  Its not really visible to anyone else.. but I know its needing to be done.  My handmade stocking for my friend... seriously need to tackle that today.. and laundry.. but how does one do that - its been pissing down rain. Oh wait, the dryer... I use to use my dryer ALL the time in the states.. I barely use it here in Oz, love to hang my stuff to catch the sunshine and dry. But, we have had bouts of rain off and on (more on than off actually) that Im thinking of investing in a rubber ducky to get around town in.  Ya know, one of those GIANT ones... how cool would I look in that paddling down the footpath into town? 

So, apologies (again) for the lack of posts. But, I need to tackle a few things on my list of to do's so I best get cracking at it this morning.  I will keep you posted on life.

tender years

I loved this movie all those years ago. Here's a little secret tho... this song makes me cry EVERY time I hear it.... a bit of a softie... and I know EVERY word to the song. Enjoy.

Rain Rain Rain

Its been raining since the middle of November. Shit you not. I returned from holidays, and my holiday tan is quickly fading. I know… you feel sorry for me too.  Its been raining so much the last few days, that my waterfall is beaming… you can hear the gushing of the water from my driveway…

 

Thanksgiving 2010 Oz Style

Umpf

I have a fear of bugs. Insects. Crawly Things. Hate em.

So, this morning ate work I open the bathroom door, and with the usual caution I do a quick scan of the room.  I have this fear of a snake being in there on day.. and theres no where to run... my fear isnt that far-fetched.  We have had snakes in the factory, and one in the office. Which is ONE too many for my liking.

So, after a quick scan of the room, all seems fine... Im busting to pee... and then I notice a GIANT BLOODY COCKROACH on the wall right across from the toilet.  And, from previous experience, peeing in this bathroom with a cockroach is not a good thing.  I panic, I freak, and make a bunch of noise trying to finish my business without a mess, and in a quick pain like fashion get my pants back up and all that stuff...all while the cockroach is making its way straight towards me.

The result of today??? Im not peeing at work. Only 5 more hours to go with a full bladder. Umpf.  Oh, and I should mention that I would take a photo of the damn thing, but my camera isnt with me today. But, its almost as big as my hand... not palm.. not finger... HAND.

Fuck that if Im peeing in there today.  And come Monday, Im going to look good and hard to see if its still there then.

Thanksgiving Celebrations

Time to get busy.. people will be on their way soon.. and no one likes a late lunch!  Still things to do, prepare, cook, details... and the rewards are so great! Lunch with our extended family - brings so much joy, and reminds us of just how lucky we are.

Better Today...??

I crawled into bed last night, and looked at my moon filled room.. it was so bright and peeked thru the slats of my blinds... Im a Cancerian.. ruled by the moon... it made perfect sense why I was so emotional.

I lifted the blinds all the way up and fell asleep to to the moon glistening into my room - healing my emotions!

Kenny Rogers - Lady

My friend, remember our conversation the other night about The Commodores.. and our secrets... well, here is the 'white mans' singing of it.... Just for your hears. How can you not fall in love with his voice?

Moody. Emotional. WTF?

Im not sure whats come over me. Im tired, I know this. I cant stop shedding tears. I feel as if Im mourning for someone... I dont know who.. but my heart hurts. Aches. Its that lonely, unkept, sad, and empty feeling. That feeling you get when someone passes in your life.

And, as far as I know.. no one has. But I feel as if they have.

Im a mess. Tomorrow will be better.

Kenny Rogers - Buy Me A Rose (Music Video)

For my friend, to help educate on KENNY ROGERS! hope your feeling better.

Some Holiday Photos

Good times with friends

Life is rough

A drink with a bit more than 1 shot… made my teeth tingle

 

Traditional Balinese Dinner.. especially made for us

Seriously, how beautiful is this?

Loved watching the mama bird feed her baby everyday

Yeah, good times, great memories..

More to come

My Holiday Part 1

The keyboard Im using is as stiff as I was before my massage yesterday. Jealous? good. then I will let you know I have another one scheduled tomorrow morning!! 

Sitting at my table, I can smell teh incense and offerings of the mornings.  Slowly, teh sounds of motorbikes becomes more constant.  The new baby bird is being fed by its mother at the tree near the table.  The staff keep a close eye on the new guest daily, they feed the mother banana every night, and during the day, she flies around collecting rice for her baby. I am in awe at teh magic of all this. There is another 4 birds gathering and making a nest by my hotel room, loving each moment unfold before me.

The staff arrive one by one at our presence at teh hotel.  They are happy to see us, and we are thrilled to see them.  To hear about thier families, their life... all of it.  It is like seeing family again. Sincere hugs & smiles are exchanged.  Again the smell of the surroundings is noticed... it is a smell of contentment adn love, of happiness & warmth.  It is then that I feel so wonderful about where I am  and how I feel at home here. And how full of love Bali is.  It is now, at this moment, that I remind myself of how much I love Indonesia & all which encompass this place.

However, all teh love in the world couldnt have prepared me for my trip here.  I was to arrive on Thursday evening. Did I? No. Thanks Jetstar..... Friday evening. Oh the frustration and new people you meet on the way. But, I will write about this at a later date.  I need to wait for the other computer next to me to have the better keyboard... this one is like jabbing the keys.  But, here is a snapshot... hurry up to wait. get stamped to depart country, buy duty free.  Sounds great? Yeah, until I have to get stamped back in and return my duty free, cuz Im spending the night in Darwin. Hooray. And, I have to fight like hell to get any info.  Why? Well, part of it was taht they grounded teh entire fleet of planes I was traveling on.... due to engine problems on another flight. Im all for having my life and love taht tehy considered my safety... but it woud have been nice if teh staff at the airline knew what the hell they were doing. ... anyway... I then meet with teh Australian version of The Amazing Race... I was pleased tehy were not American, for their rudeness was amazing.. I was embarrassed enough, much less if they were teh same nationality. Upside? I MAY be on tv, but may not.. due to some harsh probably edited language which I let fly at a few contestants.  We will see. And race? No, my grandma could do that crap. . And next time I travel, Im going on that show... tehy have their luggage carried for them, they have food brought to them.. life certainbly was no rush for these guys. Oh, and no, we arent exactly friends after my LONG stint with them.  And I dont think their tour guide in Bali (one for each couple) looked very impressed either.  Ah... interesting times.

Anyway, more on taht another time.  Life here in Bali is good. Its nice to be back home... and hear "Michele, when you arrive?  and of course, during the massage.. "Michele... are you com...fort..a .. bull?" 

Ah, life is good.Tonight mom is having coining due  (aka Krokan) for her nasty cough.. and snoring... goodness.. I thought I was working at teh sawmill the last 2 nights. Shit.  And tomorrow I am having it done, for general wellbeing. I always get Krokan done when I come here.. good medicine.

Well, time to chat with the local adn another gorgeous night of adventure in Bali.  Come back soon for Part 2.

Miss all of you.

7 minutes

Has there been a research study on 7 minutes? I wondered today why my snooze button, and so many other snooze buttons out there are set for 7 minutes.  Do I 'rest' in 7 minutes? Is this an applicable time for my body to feel its cheated a few more minutes?  What does 7 minutes have that 5 or 10 doesnt?  Has a study been done on different sleep patterns at different intervals?  Was it someone's favorite number? 

Why 7?

Its crazy.... but Im curious... whats the importance of 7?

Anyone?

Anyone?

I mean, I hit the snooze countless time... so apparently 7 minutes ISNT adequate for me.  And so why does the manufacturer of my alarm clock think 7 minutes is adequate?  I want to know - who in the big corporate land of my alarm clock maker decided that 7 minutes was the magic number? 

Can you imagine being that person...

Person 1 "Hi"

Person 2 "Hi"

Person 1 "What do you do?"

Person 2  "I make suits of armor fit for Kings & Queens, what do you do?"

Person 1  "I made the choice that each person who buys this product will only get 7 minutes of snooze time"

Seriously... Who IS that person. I have so many questions to ask.

Blessing my lucky stars

I watched a doco tonight on a program I had recorded weeks ago.  I wont get into details here, but I was amazed at statistics, pictures, and outcomes.  The doco touched me deeply, as it was something to which I have personal experience with.  Each day can be a struggle... not always, but certain smells or images can set me into a trance and could very easily put me back to all those years before.

All those years of fun, freedom, carefree living. Oh, and the paranoia, the learning of who your 'friends' really are, the realization of the capabilites within you.. good & bad.

I am so pleased that I can sit here today, type away to strangers & people who have become my world (and who probably know more about me than most of my family) and those who like to listen to my secrets & stories of my world.  Im feeling extremely lucky that I have survived all of the past, relatively unscathed in comparision to what could have been. And, feeling so gracious that I am who I am because of that journey.... yet, so cautious because of what I did to get there... or here.

Today I feel lucky because of where I have been, what I have done, who I have met, and why I did those things.... all to be here today, in this moment, with this experience of life.

Seriously?

I have reconnected with a friend from years ago. I wont go into details here, cuz some things are private. And some are not. But she seems to be a fricken mental case. And, she is either a compulsive liar or complete idiot.
Im not sure which one.  Or, the other option is she thinks I AM THE idiot... and that I wont catch on to her different stories. 

Strange one, that girl.

Dont get me wrong, I enjoy SOME of our conversations, but sometimes  and this sounds really really awful.. but I can understand why your partner has beat the piss out of you... have you heard yourself lately? You can be dumber than Bubba.

I feel so bad. I should be nicer to here, afterall, I dont have to see her, shes living WAY over there... and Im WAY over here...

But fuck, she can really be stoooopid sometimes.

Ice Skating in Summer.. in Australia? Yep. Fo Sure

We have been ice skating for the last few weeks... loving it! It was akward getting on the ice (a converted roller rink normally) at first. I have never been in an indoor rink to ice skate.. its always been outside. Growing up in MN we always had a hockey rink or flooded the parks, or skated on frozen lakes.  The plus side to this indoor rink is that while its hot as anything outside in an Australian summer, its beautifully chilly inside.... but I need to learn to adapt to the smaller size of the rink.  In time....

My knees are doing better than expected... I wasnt sure if they were going to snap after the first round of skating. I certainly didnt want to start all over in my treatments and be out for the count and legless just to go ice skating. But, they are doing well. I am seeing my restrictions tho.... my turning isnt what I could do years ago, and my confidence isnt powerful, and my speed is much slower than what I am use to. And tricks??? no tricks yet. Im just happy I can be on the skating floor, and dont want to push it right away with my shotty knees!

Photos will come a bit later... blogger is not playing nice in uploading photos....

Stay Tuned

Yes.. I am still alive, just swamped by life. I PROMISE to come back tonight and tell you all the happenings... ok, most anyway, ALL of the happenings would be just boring.

So, come back and have a look... tonight.

Thems the breaks

So, I am in a slight vindictive mood today. Too bad for everyone. Right?

Oh, and I only paid the registration on one of the work vehicles for 6 months... I figured I could not be sure that the company would still be around in 12 months, so there was no use paying the extra funds out for it.  Sadly, the owners are content in the ignorant bliss.

Look Carefully….

Do you see it?

Anything funny with this photo?

Well, I can tell you that upon arrival to his work this afternoon, the driver of this semi was greeted by his boss, who walked over to him with his hands on his head.

See.. if you havent already spotted it.. the semi’s trailer has hit a bridge or something…

Not a good way to end the work week.

Opps.

Monopoly.. no monopoly?

i learned today that one of my friends has never played monopoly.

I made a comment about “do not pass go, do not collect $200'” and he had no clue what I was talking about.

He grew up in the same area as I did. Came from a similar economic background, ethnicity.. etc… you get where Im going with it.

He tells me he has NEVER played Monopoly.

The things you find out. 

Eww

Dear new person at work,

Although its great that you changed your desk around in your office, which Im sure is so that you can better bask in my beauty, I do have a complaint.

When you blow your nose, could you at least give it a proper blow? This pansy crap of you trying to be quiet isnt working. Its not quiet. We can still hear you. And, do you know whats worse? Well, the fact that your nose blowing takes longer cuz your trying to not blow as hard, but instead, we can more vividly hear your nose bubbles gathering around in your nostril.

Its gross.

Give it a good blow and be done. Be a man. Hell, a 3 year can give a better nose blow, assisted.

Sincerely,

Co-Worker

TIME TO LEND A HELPING HAND FOLKS

http://www.expatdailynews.com/2010/10/australian-expatriate-missing-in-canada.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ExpatDailyNews+%28Expat+Daily+News%29

Copy & Paste into your browser page if the link doesnt work for you. I beg you.


SUPER IMPORTANT.. please pass this new on to as many people as you can.  Let us enlist any media source we can to find this person. 

Your help is greatly appreciated by his family & friends.

Happy 10 years

Today would have seen me celebrating my 10 year anniversary IF I had gotten hitched all those years ago.  Its a day I guess I always remember -  spent a lot of time preparing for the big day and planning to spend my life with someone.  That obviously didnt happen the way it was scheduled.

I do find some rather odd humor in the photo all this years later… Who would have thought that visiting The Great Divide would turn out to be the perfect headline later on!

(I should not be laughing, but I cant help it.. sorry)

I dont have any regrets over not attending my own damn wedding. Honestly.  I think about how my life could be different had I gone thru with the wedding, but Im not sure it would be something that I would have liked. 

You can never know what you missed out on.

But, I do know that I have had a great experience and journey over the last 10 years, much that would not have been able to be done had I been married.  I guess I have enjoyed the last 10 years, and I have really gotten to know me – Who I Am – What I Stand For – What I Desire -  

I cant imagine now being married at such a young age. There was so much to learn in my later 20’s that I couldnt have learned about myself had I been married. How could I have learned those things? Impossible. When you share your life with someone, you take on their stuff, their responsibilities..and the 2 of you learn to become a couple.  The reality was that I was still learning what it was that was ME.

I have always wished my ex well in life. And he has moved on as well. He now has a new bride, some kids, and settled into his life I guess. My path has been very different. Still single, no kids, and not settling for just anyone.

So, congrats to me.. on 10 years of a very smart decision. I am very proud that I had the courage that day to end that stage of my journey. To hand back the ring and all it stood for – so that I could stand for what I have become. 

To hell with it

Dating sucks. To hell with the morals. To hell with the ethics. To hell with doing what is right. Im just gonna go out and get laid.  This relationship stuff isnt fuckin worth it.

Serious.

Opps.. I think Im drooling on myself

OH MY GOODNESS... Limited Edition? Damn it, it probably means its not coming to Australia... but Pop Tarts... LOVE EM.... Pumpkin Pie? LOVE EM... together.. OH MY!~!!!!!

Wonder if there is anyone back in the US I could scam to send some this way?  Or, maybe one of those bloggers who USE to live in OZ and is now back in the US would be up for a trade?????? See, I could trade you some cheesy vegemite or weetbix or something? 

Ok, now I just sound desperate.  But, in all seriousness... has anyone tried these?

Back Soon

We will resume our normal scheduled programming shortly.

I dont know.. been busy.. tired, anxious, exhausted, frustrated, joyous, insane, and a bit lazy.

Go figure.

I have also had some personal issues with family, and as much as I have wanted to write about it here, I just cant... my luck it would be the ONE fucking time they decide to see what Im up to. And then WWIII would start, and really, I dont have the desire or the energy to deal with it anymore.  Basically, I have handled it my own way, and Im relatively (get the pun) okay with that. I prefer to deal with things head on and let people know what my issue is with them, as I would prefer they deal with me in that way as well. But, sometimes, in order to keep the peace or just let the situation die.. its better to deal with it as you choose. And really, they are so self-involved anyway, I doubt they would one bit understand or try to see my side of the situation. So tough shit. Be done with it, right? Then why do I still have this built up anger about it?  Just need to find a different avenue to let it go!

My knees are acting up again, the change in weather isnt really helping. Neither was my over-indulgence in that damn dinosaur ellipitical thing. That certainly didnt help. I felt all guilty, and was feeling my chubby bits one day and decided that yeah, go for it, get back on it and do it. Bad choice.. the next day my knees let me know that they were not strong enough for that sort of torture. I guess I should have listened to my Italian Stallion aka physio.  Got it now. Lesson Learned. Loud & Clear.

Top it off, i hate that my annoying neighbors have renewed their lease. I mean, I really hate it. They hate living here, and Im not sure why they choose to live here ANOTHER year. Damn stupid people. I will have to look at ways to 'assist' in the current surroundings there.... maybe some louder music to counteract her constant door slamming? As one of them are music teachers, they really REALLY seem to hate it when I play music... doesnt matter what it is - Jack Johnson, Eagles, Pantera, Meditation... you name it, she goes into instant crazy bitch. In fact, she does that a lot. No matter what.  So, I guess shes just a crazy bitch.  I will have to find fun little ways to torment them.  Last year, as they were just married and supp to be in  some wedded bliss state, they seemed to fight constantly. And thats all i could here. The reasoning of SHUT YOUR DAMN WINDOW when screaming at each other and throwing tantys... they just couldnt see the sense in it.. so they let eveyone know they were miserable. I admit it... it was me who flooded their mailbox with divorce info as well as random business cards of counsellors. Counsellors leave their business cards EVERYWHERE in ANY business.. so they were easy to come by.. I might have to try some sort of technique like that again soon.

What else? Im doing alright, just not wanting to indulge in other peoples shit. And yet its there. Oh well. Thats life.

Relationship? Well, the 'newer' guy is back from his 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off job thing. Im sure we will catch up while hes home.. we have plans to.. but typical man style.. he will call me when he arrives back here (tomorrow I think?) and then we will sort the details out. Apparently, its a woman  thing to PLAN.. or I just seem to get really busy.. so I NEED to plan.. and yeah, I am a control freak.. so lets not venture that path tonight.  I am in contact with someone else as well. Thats just in the email stages of things. He has a kid.. 1 years old... so I need to get some more info on whether or not he really is single or if he is in the 'separated' stage with the kids mom. Makes a big difference to me.  But so far, he seems nice.  Oh, and  54 yr old man wanted to 'know more about me' (its one of the options on the  dating website). 54 ... so I wonder if while Im busy at work all day would he be home cooking and cleaning and such? and of course, 2 more Indians showed interest.... I double checked that my profile doesnt state.. LOOKING FOR OLDER MEN.. or INDIANS ONLY APPLY.. .. and it seem pretty normal and straight forward..but somehow I must be on the hot list for these particular groups. Funny stuff.

Hey, what do you know? We resumed back to normal programming!

Dixie Chicks ~ "Ready to Run" (Better Quality)

So the 'anniversary' of what WOULD have been my wedding anniversary is coming upon us! Yep, once upon a time, I was thinking I would be one of those happily married people, with a white picket fence, and some kids, and a career, and all that warm fuzzy stuff.

And then, I came to my senses. And I listened to this song A LOT. And I ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And never looked back.

Thank you to 'you who know who' as my life certainly would not be as kick ass as it would have been had I not ran my ass off, away...

Guns N' Roses - November Rain

Always ALWAYS Double Check!

A local restaurant in my town has just opened its doors.  Its very very new. And, I'm not quite sure how well it will do for business. They are hiring for a new chef.... here is a snippet of their advertisement:


(please note that they are a Japanese / Australian Cuisine restaurant)

             To be successful for this role you must have;

             A minimum of 2 - 3 years experience at Sous Chef level

            Creative flair and a passion for food.

            Excellent communication skill (necessary to peak Japanese or Korean)

             Relevant trade qualifications.

             Proven experience in Japanese cuisine (sushi and hot food), desert as well

             Ability to excel under pressure

 

Did you pick up on any mistakes?

Here is what I found:

communication skills are required so that you may PEAK Japanese or Korean... yeah, I never thought to write something like that on my resume... stooopid ol me.. I can SPEAK another language.. but damn it if i didnt pass PEAK.  Im sorry, but thats too funny of any error in the communication skills required.  

And, did you catch that another requirement for this position is that you must have proven experience in  "a region so arid because of little rainfall that it supports only sparse and widely spaced vegetation or no vegetation at all"... I mean that is the desert afterall.. so if you have great wildlife skills and can survive on nothing at all.. please apply!

 

Oh, I think Im about to pee my pants with laughter.  

 

If you dont believe this is a real add.. check out this link:  http://www.seek.com.au/job/chef/sunshine-coast/18005753/34/1/ 

Dating duh’s

So Guysmiley (not his real name) sends me a kiss on the internet dating deal… he has included the message that he thought he would be brave and say hello.

Guysmiley appears to be nice enough on his profile. No attraction, but could be nice to have a chat with. Maybe. Just not that into him. And thats okay. Theres heaps on the damn site that Im not ‘in to’ and I shouldnt feel bad about that. Right?

What does give me some weird feelings is this: Guysmiley is 47.. yep thats right 4-7 or FORTY SEVEN or FOUR times TEN and add SEVEN.

Im only 35. Now, you may not think thats a huge add difference of 12 years, people date someone who is 12 years older or younger. But wait… theres more.

HIS KID IS 27 years old. Which means Im closer to his kids age than his age. Ewwww. Ick. And one of my good friends is only 2 years older than his kid.  EEEEWWWWW. ick….. too much for me!

And while i would probably get on with his kid.. im not sure that at my age I really want a man who has a sex drive of a grape. Not that I know from experience, but from all the data… I certainly dont want to know either. Not yet anyway.

So, I politely declined his advances.  Good luck Guysmiley.  Word of Advice:  Go for someone SOMEWHAT near your age….. please.

Little Chatterbox ?

I checked my emails just before, and was told that I had received a notification from that internet dating site that someone has contacted me.  So, I venture to see who the latest man is... wondering if hes ANYWHERE near my age group (I seem to have the random 50+ guys who want to 'see if Im interested'... seriously, even 1 man at that age for me creeps me out).

And.. the guy is not near me, outside of my distance that Im willing to go, and Im not really all that interested in his profile anyway. Starters? Starters is this: dont send me a bloody 'like to get to know you' shit and then not include your password to your photo.  IF by some chance you sent the notification before realizing you included a password, send it again.. immediately. Why? Well, cuz otherwise you just come across as a creepy guy who just wants to perve on us woman. A Faceless Perve.

Anyway, back to situation at hand: this guy selects that his occupation is sales & MARKETING... yippee... love marketing.. and if your in marketing.. you can sell YOURSELF better than anything.

So this is what his profile reads:

I am not rich not smart not even best looking
However I am loyal, reliable and available. 

Thats IT! Seriously.. thats all he has written.. and there is a maximum limit of something like 1500 words.. and he has 2 sentences.. ?????

So, as  far as I can gather, hes not into Sales or Marketing... and a loser. Okay, well, not for me. And I can find all those men on my own... without help, thanks.

One of those thangs

 

I was to have a written exam tonight for a possible job which I was shortlisted for.  I had my option of either last night or tonight, and due to other commitments, I decided tonight would be better.  So, I send off the email with the times I am available tonight for this exam. And wait.

I have just checked my emails and have received an email from the prospective company.  They have decided to change the position and have the person live in the capital city nearest me. Which is, about 2 hours away. Doesnt sound bad you say? Well, aside from not WANTING  to move, and all the expenses which can be incurred in a move, it just wasnt viable for me to consider I guess.

Damn it. Oh well. It was nice to know that I got shortlisted for the company anyway.

At the moment my cousin is in Germany doing his hockey thing, playing against some elite hockey players of Austria & Germany... what an amazing experience for him, and to be honest, I am such a proud cousin right now. I feel as (what I would imagine anyway) when you child reaches the monumentus occasion of all the things - that proud and elated feeling of wonderment for him! Love ya cuz.. kick some ass!

Things are well, for the most part.  They should be anyway.  So why then do I feel so melancholy tonight?

I have been shortlisted for a  job I applied for. Lets hope its more money. But if its not more money, would I still take it? Could it be less stressful? And, if it is, would it be worth less money to actually enjoy a job and have less stress in my life? Can I afford less money? What if its more money?????

I have finally met the guy who I have been chatting to for a month. Everything there seems to be very good. He seems to have decent outlook on life, seems to hold a converation well, and can speak about educated topics as well. Plus side? Hes gorgeous. He has amazing eyes. Although its a bit freakish to admit, but I could just get lost in his eyes. There seems to be a connection there, but only time will really tell I guess.

My home... I keep trying to dip into those projects.. you know.. the box that needs to be sorted, the junk drawer that somehow keeps getting filled with junk AGAIN, designing some sort of better work space for my computer area.. blah blah blah.. then I still have all the other shit.. floors, laundry, dishes.. how the heck can 1 person make this place so untidy sometimes? Sometimes I can almost convince myself that the cat is busy creating the chaos when Im working. Work. ugh. oh, sorry... I had everything all fantastic the other day.. it all looked wonderful, then I realize that after I did MORE stuff.. it wasnt as kept & tidy as just a few hours before. The lesson here, is only do a bit.. I dont need to conquer the entire list for the day. Right?

Its cold outside. Yet, last night it was lovely. Tonight, its a bit chilly. My knees are starting to need another treatment again. This cold weather isnt helping. Damnit, Im from Minnesota... I can and SHOULD be able to hand THIS cold weather. Am I feeling some sort of loss there? Like I have lost some of my Minn-e-soo-tah ways? Surely that cant right, can it? How can I lose what is me? Or can I?

I dont know, I feel as if Im babbling. And Im not making sense. Life is good. It really is.

Nothing Compares 2 U

Do you remember the song 'Nothing Compares 2 U' ? It was written by Prince (or well, he use to call himself Prince at THAT time.. but Sinead O'Connor sang it. I use to belt my lungs out to it, thinking of one boy in particular. Obviously, that didnt work out for me.. did it?

Anyway, there was all this talk that Ms. O'Connor was a lesbian.  Than she wasnt, then she was.. you get the jizz of it.. yeah?  Well, apparently.... shes not (anymore) cuz Nothing Compares 2 U... as above... Yikes, shes really changed! Totally different from that skinny shaved headed girl seen here:

 I never, I mean NEVER in my life would have imagined the picture of "nothing compares 2 U"... to be with him. Just didnt think it. But then again, Love Comes In All Forms.

Okay, Im 35 now. And so far things have gone pretty damn good.  And while walking thru the carpark to insanely dirty car, I realized these reasons must be why:

Since the monday of my birthday week and up to today, I have:

• ticked the birth control for another 3 months of safety.. I mean as if NOT getting laid wasn’t safety enough, my mother told me you can NEVER be too safe
• visited the Italian Stallion, aka Physio Man for another session
• tackled the Needle Nut, aka Acupuncture Guru for another session
• endured a good belly laugh & back adjustment with the Chiro
• did the yearly (ok, it was a bit longer than that) eye exam
• purchased some green drink stuff'; Im not a veggie girl so I know Im not getting my greens
• bought some Apple Juice to help the green drink stuff go down

The way I figure is this: the eyes, neck, back, knees & snatch are all taken care of. Seriously, can I get anymore well-adjusted going in to being 35! I must say, I am almost impressed with myself.

So out of touch

I sometimes forget how much I have secluded myself from others. It hasnt been a bad thing, and certainly isnt in an unhealthy way. But, I have secluded myself from people who have a high drama content. I also know that I pull back from people when they have too much created chaos in their lives.  Dont get me wrong, when my friends or family are in need, Im probably the first one on the doorstep waiting to be there and help.  However, when a person in my life starts dribbling about problem A, problem B, problem C…and so on.. and then you start to piece that A+B+C= their own doing from decisions or actions (or lack of actions).. you start to lose some sympathy points.

For many MANY years now, I have tried to eliminate a good chunk of drama out of my life. The created chaos drama. Its not good, healthy or productive.

GIVE WAY!

Every now and then, some drama creeps in.. thats just life. Yet, some days I open my ears and all I hear around me is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. 

Fuck people, you cant be mad at me if you dont change shit in your life and I have no sympathy for the 100th time that you have told me your ‘issue’.  The reality is your ‘issue’ is the result of your own actions.  You LOVE the drama in your life. I however, have had my fill from years past, and can not do it anymore.

So.. drama & you can fuck off and take a vacation from me. I cant hear anymore of it.  If you cant figure out why your life sucks… how about taking a really good look at it and trying to sort it, for once.  Yeah, that would be helpful.

Ewwwww…..

Im doing the internet dating thing, y’all know that.  But, I have had it, I have reached my limit…. today, some guy who is 47 sends me a kiss and wants to get to know me. Remember, Im only 35… and hes 47… now, at first that may not sound like a huge difference.. but his eldest daughter is 27…. WTF?

Yuck. Yuck. Triple Yuck.

And, this isnt the first time that old creepy men have contacted me.  I have had them up to 54 years old, be interested. 

Now, its great that you think so highly of yourself. Or that your young enough at heart that a 35 year old would be interested. Or that you could “provide” for me. Or whatever… your beer belly balding ass who scratches himself regularly and all that jazz.. whatever your reasons are… please remember that although you think your hot stuff, and you think I should be oh so honored to date you… please think of my mother.. who is only 55 damn years old…. do you think thats still okay? The fact that your age is closer to my moms than to mine?  I dont. I think that just screams EWWWWWWW icky creepy old nasty spoiled milk smelling man.  ICK.

Thanks for the kiss.. but so not flattered.

Odd feeling

I found out today that one of my ex boyfriends has 4 kids.. to 3 different mamas. I dont really care, but holy begeezish... I was a bit taken aback by the news... then I find out another had a kid to that little tanned whorebag I hate so much. Well, I dont know if HE did or his brother did, because years ago I heard thru the grapevine that she was doing his brother as well. See.. whorebag. So, now, just for curiousity sake.. Im really wanting to know is it HIS or his brothers? Why? No reason. Doesnt impact me at all. But I saw a photo of the kid, and can not draw my own conclusion. Seriously, how do you sleep with a guy for years and not be able to recognize his (possible) kids photo? Sad isnt it? Oh well. Like I said, I dont really care, but I would love to have that bit of juicy news.

It seems everyone is having all these damn kids. And thats cool. If you want them. But, Im hoping that they grew up and became responsible people who can raise GOOD INTELLIGENT DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.... and thats probably not the case. After all whorebag is a nutjob with 5.. yep count them 5 kids... and to at least 3 different daddies... and one ex is has 2 kids with 2 different mamas, and then there is the other ex ... ah.. you get the point. The funny thing is... Im so not jealous, but a little bit sad for them. None of them seem to really be doing anything in life, except for a few, the biggest mission is staying out of jail. Yippee for your adult ass. Seriously, instead of making babies, how about you try to survive the world we live in, and once you can handle that... then THINK about bringing others into the world.

Ugh. Sometimes its all I can do to not reach thru the computer and slap my friends.

Turning Points in Life

I had a birthday this week. Had a lovely bday, filled with a massive amount of well wishes & loving thoughts.

A few people were teasing me saying that Im gettin so much closer to the big 4-0… 40. who cares. Im 35 by the way, and to me, 40 is still 5 years away.. no need to worry about that one just yet.

Im loving being 35. I have great friends & family who are all very special to me. And, for the first year in a long time of milestones, Im not worrying constantly about my residency. As I now have that little stamp in my passport, its less to worry about and no longer putting strain on my life like it did for so many years.  So, why wouldnt turning 35 be good? Seriously.

I have also been really happy with the results of my physio from the Italian Stallion, as well as Needle Nut, aka acupuncture.  The two really know what to do. My legs feel fantastic (well, in comparison to the past) and I firmly believe that I am well on the way to a great recovery from this knee issue. Thank goodness I didnt sign up for that surgery, right? Yippee!

I had a fantastic cake this year:

Isnt it adorable? And it tasted really yummy as well! Thanks mom!

I wont get all mushy on you guys, but life is good. Im 35, and loving it.

Bounce

I went out to eat Indian the other night with a friend. Partly, it was a nice way to toast goodbye to one of the internet boys… he was Indian. Nothing against Indians, but it was my sick twisted humor in going to eat Indian and secretly toasting goodbye to him… in style.

Upon coming home, I could feel my stomach start to explode. It was so full of air, it felt like I had grown a soccer ball within 10 minutes.  Gas. Lovely.  And goodness.. .they were not good smelling ones either! I would fart and have to walk away from the nastiness.

I make it to bed, laying in the fetal position holding my gassy tummy. Oh it hurt so bad. And it felt like no matter how much I would fart, it wouldnt be any better any time soon.

I toss & turn. Convinced Im ready to die.  I finally lay on my back and get as comfy as I think I possibly can get in this pain.

And I let a ripper of a fart go. I knew it would be best to grab the blanket  and wave it up and down to let the smell go from the sheets (as if you havent done that before, come on..) but I decide it probably smells too nasty to do that. So I just laid there…knowing what lurked under the sheets.

All of a sudden, Little Miss (who sometimes get called Tigger cuz she bounces all over the place when shes busy) jumps on the bed in such a spot that the damn doona waves and lets the nasty smell out… right to me…..

Lesson? Just air out the sheets..you just never know who is going to come bouncing on your bed, and then its just 3 times as bad…. seriously.

Little Miss… gotta love her!

What a fork of a day to be had!

I would really enjoy a sneak peak into this book!

Although, Im a bit concerned about the ‘plate licking’ & ‘crowd pleasing’  comments, as usually anything on the invite that says those 2 bits usually scares me.

Of course, if ANY of you have a copy.. I would give you my neighbors for a look at the book!

Frightening

On a popular networking site, I often see random photos of strangers. Why? Cuz Im bored.

Im amazed at how many people just let their photos be public for all to see. Personally, mine are private, so you have to be my friend in order to see them. But, not everyone does such things.

Enter me & boredom. Im sure Im not the only one who looks at strangers photos. For instance, when you go to find your long lost friend and you have to stumble through 32 names because its been that long since you last heard anything of your lost friend, that you have no clue where she might work or live. So, you see little ‘thumbnails’ of 32 people who MAY or MAY not be long lost friend.  And, if your bored or wanting to escape the hell of work for a few minutes, you click on some profiles, and then enter PHOTOS.  Amazing what people put up in the photo section. AMAZING.

However, today I stumble upon a ex boyfriend. And, while I cringe at the thought of his wirey redhead hairy self, I found his photo of he & his wife. Its ugly. er cute I mean. 2 lovebirds.  Nah, its still ugly. I almost vomit that I slept his redhead self. Ick. Ick.

Got me thinking tho… I have stumbled upon a lot of profiles which have photos of only Mr & Mrs in a photo together. No photos of themselves, just the 2 of them. As if almost joined at the hips, forever in the shackles of ‘love’ or jealousy – its a fine line.

I dont know, just seems so many people have these photos of them & hunnylover .. as if the whole world will tilt the wrong way if they had their own identity.. er I mean photo.

Eh gads.. not your own photo?

This card grabbed at my heart for oh so many reasons. In your most desolate times of life, you can almost feel the truth in another person. So many lives going parallel together, on the same spiral, learning similar things in life – about life – escaping life.

 

When you stare at yourself in the mirror analysing every inch of your face & body while experiencing the moments of meth, its amazing how truthful you can become with yourself.

Some experiences teach you more than you can imagine. Im so thankful for those days when I look back and see the close calls I put on my own life (and others) that I survived it all. I appreciate that I didnt die all those years ago.  I appreciate the lessons I learned in life all those years ago.

 

(Postcard from : www.postsecret.com)

Dating Dramas

After some much needed thinking on my ‘situation’ of the 2 prospects in my life at the moment.. I finally came to a decision.

Here where some highlights of what helped me come to my recent decision-

• although its nice to hear from a guy, hearing from them 4 or 5 times a day when your just getting to know them is a bit much
• when a guy is SO in to you that he keeps complimenting how gorgeous you are, how much he loves your smile, and then looks at your photo every day, you almost want to report him to the police for some sort of stalker personality trait
• while speaking to someone and they keep saying ‘what else?’ after you have a conversation.. and you reply with ‘what else, what?’ you know its not going good.  Nothing shits me more than somebody who just wants you to ramble on and then has nothing to contribute to the conversation other than ‘what else’
• informing me of his work schedule for the next few days to let me know that he will have a difficult time ringing me, but he will try on his break. Dude… YOU DONT HAVE TO CALL ME EVERY BLOODY DAY. Its okay to have a day or two in between your ‘what else?’ thoughts
• when you ask a guy about his ex and his kid.. and he responds to your answer, then follow ups and says.. “how about you?”  and the only response you can give to that, is …. ‘i dont have an ex or a kid.. remember that being on my profile?’ you know the whole thing is doomed.

What else?  hahahaha

So, I let him go. I told him the distance was too far to actually give any proper dedication to anything. He insisted we should still meet. He also told me it was good to be able to be honest with each other, its very important for a relationship, honesty.

After another 4 explanations of my time schedule (lets be honest, if I didnt have all these red flags and notable irritations it may have been a different story and MAY have been willing to meet) BUT … I say it again to him.  He tells me he is listening.  Right… ?

My response to his “ I am listening” is simply this: “I should hope so.”  It was then that I wanted to just hang up. 

Eventually, he threw me a bone. He told me that he wished me well, and although he wanted to meet and have some fun and see where a relationship could go, he wanted me to have a good life.  Cool. Told him to have a good night, to which he responded with a very stern, “GOOD NIGHT” and then hung up.

Eh.. men. Strange. 

Drops of Color

If I wish it.. do they appear?

So I was craving a bowl of cereal for dinner tonight.. and as I was standing in front of what would be a selection of MAYBE 30 different cereals… I realize that the one Im craving isnt there.

So, I figure… go with option 2. Next cereal craving.

 

I look over the selection about 10 times before realizing that I must look like one of those ‘special adults’ just staring at the selection of cereals. It was almost as I took a mini nap. I starred. I hunted. I read every box. Twice.

 

Nothing.

 

You know why? I was wanting THESE particular cereals.. really bad…

   

And then I realized.. Wrong country idiot.

 

So, I looked around to see if anyone could see me drooling and crying and carried on to grab the ONLY type of Cheerios available here…

 

Mind you, I like this one, but I so wanted to nibble on my Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios tonight and then have them as a snack tomorrow at work.

Oh well.  But I did wonder exactly how long I stood there gazing at the boxes…? How embarrassing.

Whew..

So Friday arrived, and work is done for a few days… thank goodness.

Its been interesting on the dating side of things.

• Man 1 (M1) was married for 14 years
• Man 2 (M2) was married as well.
• M2 says hes been divorced at least 7 years or so.  Funnily, his ex’s name is same as mine.. just spelled different.
• Both have kids.. M1 has a young child. M2 has teenagers.
• Both seem to be quite involved in sport.. same sport.. Soccer. Whew.. I like soccer.
• M1 likes Cricket… if only he knew that I find it cute that the duck comes across the screen.. which apparently is a really bad thing in Cricket.  Thats my knowledge or care factor there.
• M1 seems very attentive.
• M2 is giving me attention, but not everyday like M1
• M1 lives further from me.

What to tell… I wont be meeting any of them this week.. M2 is going away for the week and we couldnt meet this week as he is sick. And, although hes getting better, or so he says, I was pretty adamant that not a chance in hell stood for he & I meeting while he was sick. M1 is going to take more effort.. hes further away, and not just a bit of a ways.. just over an hour away.. ugh.  So.. maybe next weekend? Who knows..

Keep ya’ll posted.

Any questions my avid readers want me to ask either M1 or M2? 

Is this what they will do tonight?

I can only imagine.. just like the 30 Rock Episode.

And the award goes to…

We have mice at work. Its inevitable. Its a factory, theres fields… its bound to happen.

What I dont like is them popping on my desk. Anywhere else but on my stuff. Im sure there are some nasty diseases I could get from them.. or infections or something.

Every now and then I see one run across the room or past the hallway… sometimes Im not sure if its an Acid Flashback from my younger years or if its really a mouse.

Im going with a mouse on that one.

I came to work this morning and those mice have been SO busy.. they def deserve the hardiest working employee award.. cuz I KNOW they have worked harder than most of the staff here.

Here is what they got into last night..

(look at all the nibble bits to get into the treats..)

 

(if you click the photo to make it larger.. you can see that there are 5 areas of different candy / chips they chunked into… and this was only a quick grab from the box… however, they didnt touch the Snickers… everything else, but the Snickers..

 

I just wish they would stop popping in my office. Eck. Poop ANYWHERE else you want.. just not my office!

The dating deal

A few of you are interested in the dating game that I happen to be playing… well, not much time today to write, but thought I would give you a quick synopsis on things the past few days.

• Said guy from post below & I make plans to speak the other day.  I took your advice, and didnt want to push him off the bridge so quickly without REALLY having a valid reason, so I agreed to call him
• on Said day, Said guy receives a text from me saying that I would be calling at Said time.. does that work?
• Said guy responds with text saying he is out at the pub with mates and would get in contact with me tomorrow if that okay

Oh, this is not looking good here is it… I should have never listened to all of you ‘do- gooders and faithful in love people’

The Pub. With Mates. Eck.

Then.. tomorrow rolled around:

• Said guy sends a text that he ‘ has had such a social 3 days that he has shut down and probably not good for a chat tonight’ and asks if he can call me tomorrow.
• My immediate response is NO. YOU CAN NOT CALL ME TOMORROW. Afterall, we scheduled a tomorrow, and that be TODAY dumbass.. and you were too busy out drinking & socializing that no, I am unavailable to you at your desire of tomorrow….then I realize I have plans anyway, and the reality is tomorrow is NOT going to work for me as I made actual plans.
• I respond to Said guy that Im busy and maybe the night after.

Are you glad I listened to you y’all who were so quick to defend his side?

Other news.. this Italian man contacted me.. well, Im pretty sure he is Italian. I have dreamt him to be delish-ous! with lots  & lots of goodness.   So.. keep you posted on that one.. and hes closer to my age, lives a bit further, and oh yeah.. has a kid.. but better than Said guy who has 2 kids…

Either way, Italian man seems to intrigue me a little…

Ciao

hehe

Its just almost 8pm

I have turned the heat on in the house to take the chill out, and all rugged up in my pj’s and Im going to go lay in bed and drift into la-la land.

Why?

Because I live alone, and I can. And the cat has already warmed the foot part of the bed.  Thats why.

Hope all is well in your worlds.

Me :)

At it again

There are so many options. Too many choices. And yet, nothing which makes my heart go pitter patter.  I have re-joined an internet dating website. Im not sure that I really want to be ‘dating’ but Im maybe, MAYBE ok with giving it a go. I mean, I would date, if it was the Right sort of guy. And while there are options of every social class, colors, heights, professions, marital status… etc…  I just cant seem to find the Right sort of guy.

Grandma has always told me I am Picky. Now that shes older and loving being (hey, wait a minute.. how come the I before E except after C rule doesnt apply..I know why, but its funny that the slogan popped in my head there!). anyway. Grams loves being single. And so do I. But lets be honest. I need to get laid. And so, Im gonna be picky!

I went to many schools as a kid. It seemed as if we moved a lot . A LOT. And each new home came with a new school.  Here was ONE of my schools:

Its awkward to reminisce of days past. You think of all the places you have been, what you did, how you interacted with others, how much you have learned since those days… so on.

Its nice to know that I am comfortable with where I am now.

Im needing a fix

Need my weekly fix…

when oh when will it show in THIS country?

Hmmm

It was pointed out to me today that its been 17 years (June) that I graduated from High School. Holy Beejibbers… 17 years… wow.. that really flew by.

Here are a few snippets of what I have learned in 17 years since not being in High School (of course, its not everything, but I only have so much writing space so bear with me):

In no particular order of importance

• I love my life
• I know its important to enjoy life and live for what makes you content in your heart.. whatever that is
• You will never live up to the expectations set forth upon you
• You must live the path you choose, live it well
• You can live a really nice comfortable and happy life without having to be married or attached to another person
• I like making my own decisions.. however good or bad they may be
• I do not have to like everyone
• I do not need thousands of friends
• I enjoy my quality & quantity of great friendships
• I like spending time with my own company
• I am strong & independent. If you dont like it, not my problem
• If I dont like what I am doing, I can change it
• If I dont want to change what I am doing, I have learned how to justify it…yep.
• I love to travel & dive into new cultures. The whole armchair traveller is NOT me.  Give me experiences, let me speak to the people, I want to know how they live, I want to see their world thru their eyes.. not a thru a cabana lounge or lonely planet
• I spend money to travel rather than having the latest technology or newest car
• I am loved
• I love
• I give my love to those who are worthy of it. No need to waste my gifts on those otherwise
• I have learned to see who is worthy and who is not so worthy much quicker than I previously had
• I value myself more and more each day
• Its important to be honest, I cant lie for shit, and I dont really appreciate those who lie to themselves either
• If you dont love yourself…then why the hell not? Who else is gonna otherwise?
• I can have any job. I have had many jobs (just ask Sabrina.. she knows my resume) but as I get older, I give more thoughts to the ramifications of the economic condition before leaving one job for another
• Learn to analyze things
• Take risks
• Proceed with caution
• Somedays, run like hell towards whatever you choose. Dont think about it
• You will get hurt in life. You need to learn to overcome it. Cry it out, and move on
• Be true to yourself
• Protect yourself
• Find a moment each day that you can relish in and be in that moment, even if its just for a 30 second pause in your day
• Take care of your car – wash it, polish it, love it
• Out of sight, mostly out of mind.. it seems to be a general thing
• Most people who you believe should never lie to you, will.
• You can love a whole heap of people thru the years and still be happy that you come home to your house with just the cat waiting for you
• I am educated and can have thought provoking conversations
• I have true friends who know the real me
• I have secrets
• My experiences in life have not only taught me, but also others

Wow.. 17 years.. I always thought I had commitment issues, but after hearing that I have put 17 years into becoming the person I am, learning along the way, and showing the world what I am capable of as an independent adult… quite a good accomplishment if I do say so myself.

Funny thing is, I remember when I heard about the 5 year reunion… I laughed it off…today, the laughter was not my first response to the 17 years!

I can still remember those days. Filled with so much… of everything… and yet nothing… just new to the world… finding yourself… discovering the world…

And now, here i sit, ready to go to bed at 10 pm on a friday cuz work was crazy this week. Oh the times, they are a changing…