A Weekend of Aches

For quite some time I have wanted to redo my front courtyard.  It was the basic look of concrete. Blah. Vanilla. Same as the others.  I had this great plan in mind, and with all hopes that it would work, I shared my idea amongst friends to see if it would be tacky looking or as nice as it was in my head.

 

I headed off to the store where they had some of my supplies needed. Costings. Done. Need Rock. Costings. Done. Finances… not so much.

 

After months of looking at my courtyard as it was:

This is the view from my front door (above)

This is my courtyard section (above)

This is the view from the gate to my front door (above)

So, after this magnificent idea in my head of what I wanted the area to look like, I finally bit the bullet and started on the project. I figured that although I couldnt really afford to do it all at once, I would do what I could and then get more rocks when I could. I knew the rocks would be spendy for the project, so I figured it would be done in a long drawn out process.

WRONG.

I bought my 18 packs of deck/wood materials which I needed.  I bought 2 bags of rocks, to make sure that the white color (it was a toss up between white or black rocks, but black rocks are much MUCH more expensive) and I was on my way.

 

I was so excited to begin the transformation, that I started in the late afternoon yesterday after getting off of work and buying my items.  I was determined to give it a go.

 

Here was the first photo after some gruelling body aches of bending down and picking up the decking material.

 

Not bad eh!

 

Morning came, and so did some unusual aches in my body.  I guess when your bending down and over and picking up and transporting.. it was something my body hadnt been use to in awhile.

 

So, I began right away this morning. Ok, not right away, but at a respectable time so that my horrid… eck I mean wonderful neighbors would not have a right to bitch.

 

I then realize its looking good.  But, Im also realizing I didnt get enough decking materials, even with the extra pack Tilda told me to get. Shit. What to do. I also had an issue with the length of the walkway and the size of the decking material. It was either going to be just a tad too short or hang out the bottom of the gate. What to do…. so you compromise.   And then, after all this hard work, I started questioning whether or not it looked as nice as I thought it did. I think some of the questioning was in part ‘oh my gawd, I did this by myself… is it really THIS DAMN GOOD?’

 

Whats a girl to do? I had most of it done. Well, with what I could, I wanted more decking material to finish it to how I had modified my original plans of the area. And, I wanted more rock. I wanted this baby finished. But, I was still unsure if it looked ok. See, I can justify anything. I mean  ANYTHING. And, I was hoping that I wasnt sacrificing the aesthetics of the area just because my plan was now a bit different than the original plan. So, I called Tilda. She wasnt really thrilled about coming over as she had her own projects to do. But, after enough guilt trips (she attended Catholic School, so I knew they would work) and I think a bit of whining on my part, she succumbed to my begging and promised to drop by.

 

In the meantime, I ran to the local landscape store to get 6 more bags of rocks. As much as I originally thought I would do the rocks in a process, it was looking much to nice to not finish it.

 

Tilda arrives. She is really happy with the results so far. I tell her modifications, and she agrees that it will look nice. Whew! I really was glad to hear that she not only liked how it was looking, but thought my adjustments would look nice as well!  She helped me spread 2 bags of rocks, and a well deserved coffee break was had.

As of tonight, my body aches in places I forgot were there. Such as my butt checks. And my thighs. And my quads. And my arms. Its almost reminiscent of days gone by of great wild sex. But its not…

 

Its the glory of an ALMOST done project… to be continued tomorrow. And, for those of you curious… I put down 7 bags of 20 kg rocks. Oh my goodness. Thats a workout!  But, here is what it looks like…

 

 

What a difference!  Dad even called tonight to tell me how much he liked it. He sounded really pleased, and impressed! Always good when the landlords like what you have done with the place.

As for me, I am off to the tub. I hear epsom salts screaming my name!

Tell me your thoughts? Is it better than before? Do you like it? Remember, its not quite finished… YET.

Life is good :P

Life is good :P

Days of Past

 

When I was a kid I had so much fun with these little things. Our yard was full of them, and that was probably due to me blowing them all over the yard.. hehe. opps!

I have just discovered that my ex-fiancé has gotten married. And they are pregnant. WHAT THE FUCK? Serious?

Let’s get something straight before we go ANY further: I live in a diff country than he does. I have no feelings like that love crap towards him anymore. I was told by a dear friend that he felt I was ‘settling’ if I married said person. I ended the relationship, not the other way around. We caught up once, and it was apparent that no love was lost from either of us. I still smoked, that shit him and he still had some stupid arrogance about him that shitted me. So, this news isnt awkward to me cuz Im still in love or any of that crap.

 

But, when you make plans to share a life with someone, it still impacts you a little bit. It is weird to think that he is with someone else. It was supp to be my dream with him. Not HERS. Granted, it ended up not being a dream, more of a drain on my life.. but still.. the point is its strange to hear the news about your ex.

 

And than there is that part of me that goes.. Im still single. Hes not. No biggie. I actually LOVE being single. I havent stumbled upon anyone who really has changed my mind. Until they walk into my life, Im so in love with my life as a single person, and 100% happy with the choices I have made to stay single.

But holy shit, said person done got married, having ANOTHER kid… wow. Our lives are so different. The things that we ended up with or wanting are so different. It makes you wonder what the 2 of us saw as common in the first place. He said he wanted to travel. I love to travel. I have, he hasnt. Kids were never discussed really (we were young) and it was one of those things that if it happened, it was the way it was to be. But, now he has a kid by some accident (or so he told me of a drunken night with a girl he hates) and now hes gotten this one preggers. And married her.

 

Wow.

 

Our lives have taken way different journeys.

Thank goodness I am on the path I am on.  So, said person, I wish you well. I wish you happiness and contentment in your life. I hope you find everything you were looking for (and lost). 

Rainy Days

It was a perfect rainy type of day here. It rained most of last night and until just after 8ish this morning. I had actually gotten to sleep in a bit this morning too. Nothing like hearing rain drops to keep you in bed on a saturday morning!

After a few adventures for the day, I settled in for a movie. I picked up the movie “Henry Lee Lucas”.  I was in the video store wandering thru a bunch of titles and came across this movie. I picked it up in my hands, and it instantly reminded me of reading the book – as a teenager. It was gruesome and full of anything you wanted, to take your imagination to various depths.

 

I really liked stories about crime back then (still do). I remember wanting to be a crime forensics investigator or a lawyer … anything along those lines. I was intrigued by WHAT made people do certain things. I was bewildered HOW some people thought. I was amazed by the REASONS people gave for doing things.

 

When I read about Henry Lee Lucas, I was still in high school. The book told of his life and his murders that he committed. Some of the murders were with a man named Otis Toole. Others, he committed solely by himself. He confessed to over 3000 murders in the USA, but many people didnt really believe that he killed most of them. Some people thought it was for the thrill of being given attention, something Henry Lee Lucas hadnt had as a child. Some people are really convinced that he killed all those people. Whatever the case, he is known for being one of the most notorious Serial Killers to this day.

Whether he actually killed all those people or not will only be known to him. It is certain that he killed his mother when she was 64 years of age.  As for the others, its really a mystery. He was sentenced to death in Texas. Otis was sentenced to six life sentences in Florida.

 

So.. back to the movie store.. while the video is in my hands, I get this urge to want to see the movie. What would I have forgotten? What was it about this story that intrigued me at the library to read it? And then, the thought of ‘shit this is messed up and I read it as a kid?’ came into my head too.

 

I rented it. Got home and watched it. There were a few things I had forgotten about in the story. I must admit, it was a good movie. Mr. Antonio hunkalot is in it too… as Henry Lee Lucas!

At the end of the movie, it states that Otis died in prison and that one of the Presidents of the Bush entourage changed Henry Lee Lucas’ sentence to life in prison. He died in a Texas prison in 2001.  Somehow, during the movie, I still couldnt come up with a verdict on whether or not he did indeed kill all those people. I remember reading the book thinking he must of, but I was a bit naive at the time too due to age.  So, I guess it still remains a bit of a mystery.

Now you want to?

I dont really like to do jump on the celebrity bandwagon and blog about it, but when I stumbled upon this photo, I feel the need to say something.

First off, its Miley Cyrus (sp?) and her dad Billy Ray. Some may be more familiar with this description: its the dad who whored out his kid so he could still have money. Daddy spent all his money from that achey breaky heart ‘tune’ doing all sorts of things, and once his daughter was old enough to exploit (he watched McCauley Caulkins family and decided to wait a few more years then they did) daddy threw the kid into the spotlight and renamed her. Hannah Montana. 

It sickens me how many people know this crap. It sickens me that I know this crap. It sickens me more that the guy at my local IGA deli was telling me about his kids fascination with the show and music of H.M. 

Do I look like I care? No. NO. NO. Anyway, back to the funny… so while daddy & moneytree are wandering the beach and moneytree is wearing a skimpy bikini (of course, NOT looking for attention or anything) daddy FINALLY becomes protective…. have a looksy:

 

Isnt that cute? After all that exploitation, err, um… advancement of your kids career, you FINALLY decide to get serious and point at people with that stern look. Cracks me up!  I am sure he will now try to charge, err, um, ask his kid for more financial support, err, um rent due to his great bodyguard techniques.

I am in love

all over again!

I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a weber grill. I had one years ago, but not for the last 10 years that I have lived in this country.

So I was set that I was going to get me a grill. A charcoal grill. One to love & to make me happy. One to have my tastebuds satisfied each time.

 

I did get a Weber (very important) and although I was set on getting a standard standing Weber, I walked out the door with this one:

Its perfect and I am in love! I can take it with me to the beach, out by the pool, to a friends place, or tuck it in the garage so that it stays in good condition and doesnt make my backyard look cluttered… cuz there is no giant BBQ standing around!

I had the best piece of chicken in YEARS. Mouthwatering! Oh, did I forget to mention its a charcoal grill? LOVING THIS!

Stick it there please

So, I am going to acupuncture and physio to help my knees and avoid surgery. So far, good progress. However, the last few weeks, I seem to have this feeling where I want to grab my foot and pull it behind me up to my ear. To stretch my muscles in my leg. I just can not get satisfied with a normal stretch. And, lets be honest, I can not, under any circumstances bend my foot to my ear behind me.

Today I had an acupuncture appt. I told my situation and although its not a setback, its not progressing like we all wish it would. Ugh.

Over 50 needles into my legs today. The needles look something like this: 

And then for more effectiveness, we have this machine which attaches to 12 of the needles to create a stronger effect. Its similar to a TENS machine in that it pulses and can be adjusted with the levels of strengths or weakness to which is most comfortable.

So, my legs look like this colorful picture:

I couldnt feel one of the pulses connected to the needle. She would turn it up a bit more. Nothing. Bit more. Nothing. More. Nothing. Mind you, the other needles attached to the machine were pulsing away to the most strength I could have handled for the 25 minutes duration. Except this one. So, she cranks it up… a bit too much and sends my arms waving, blood rushing to my head and a slight scream came out to which she panicked and turned it down. Hilarious. Probably doesnt sound hilarious, but when your waiting for the sensation to happen, and you get nodda.. and then you do and its way more powerful than you expected or can handle, holy sheet… mama look out! We finally got it sorted and at the right strength, but not after both of us had a minor heart attack. Remember, my legs are FULL of needles and I can not move them. 

Goodness!

Well, we will see if 50 needles in the leg does any wonders this week. They are feeling wonderful at the moment, so can only go one day at a time. As I am learning, this is not going to be a quick process. However, its not as painful as it use to be. I can walk much better and stronger than I could before, and its really nice to not buckle at the knees for no reason now. One day at a time folks. One day at a time.

Just a little bit homesick

 

I am a bit homesick at the moment.

Why? I am homesick for what use to be. I was listening online to my ‘old radio station from back home’ and while quietly giggling to myself about how some of the people who called in on the station sounded Oh So MinnESOOOOTAN, the radio station announced a concert coming up.  In July.

Right around the time of my birthday.

It brought back the idea of what I could be doing on my birthday. If I was back home. I imagined we would pack up the cars and head to the campsite and party hard to the 80’s hair bands which were playing the weekend of my birthday. Just like we use to do in the olden days.  It didnt matter who was with who. Where you were sleeping, or even if you had a tent of your own. You knew you could fall into someones tent at the end of the party and all would be fine. You would wake up, start the bonfire, and then make your way to the concerts after you had your breakfast and chatted about all the stuff that happened once you passed out.

 

Good times. Great memories.  Thats what makes me homesick today. Thinking of back then.  Some of the bands who are playing are: Dust n Bones (tribute band), Warrant, Winger (remember them!), LA Guns, Blimp, Vince Neil, Tesla (OMG!) and Dokken. Ah, I can just imagine the moments to be had that weekend.

 

To add to the fire, my friend wrote on that gawdforbidden networking site how she drove past our old apartment, and couldnt help but think of all the memories of that place. And that was one wild place. I think the neighbors were glad to see my lease up. Or did I get kicked out? ha. just kidding.  It brought tears to my eyes reading her words.

 

But, life is different now. Im different. But yet Im the same. I miss the ability to do those things here in this country. Yeah, to a point I can still go camping (amongst the dunes with snakes) and listen to bands (most of them I have no clue who they are) but its different. Its different than getting together with the gang and screaming out “shes my cherry pie” and “kickstart my heart” with your best friends who have seen you thru thick and thin (and probably helped get me into most of the thick spots).

 

Its just a passing thing. I think its healthy to some point to be homesick. It helps remind you of all sorts of things. Memories. Moments. Friends. Drama. Blah blah blah. You get the point. And really, its probably only because its near my birthday and all that makes me feel this way. Knowing what could have been, and where most of them will be that weekend. Hopefully, they party hard, and think of me.

One of those days

I have shed tears after a days work in a long time. They werent painful tears, but tears of complete exhaustion. I had absol no more to give. In fact, I wanted to cry at my desk at work. Frustrated and wanting to just throw something (out of my character) I had a few moments were I said my peace, loudly, and one of the times it just so happened the boss heard. Normally, I would have tried to compose myself. Or, IF I really wanted to say my bit, I would have made sure the boss wasnt there so I could just vent. But I had no more to give. I didnt care if he heard me. Honestly, you reach that point where you just think, “F**K it, deal with it, you dont like it, well today I dont give a shit. You need to know how this is going”

And he heard.

And pretended like nothing was happening. In fact, in some bizarre twist to my day, he went and screwed with EVERYTHING I had organized for a smooth sailing at work tomorrow. You know, deliveries scheduled and contacted; drivers booked for particular jobs; employees knowing what was happening so that everyone was properly informed; etc.

Im not sure if I bruised his ego or he was shitty with my comments, and this was his way of getting back at me. I dont know. And I almost didnt care. I had, for lack of better terms, given up for the day. I was fighting every urge in me to not lay in the fetal position at work and cry myself into a nice calming place. I dont get like that often, and for those of you who read this that know me in real life, you know that I had reached my peak. I can not give anymore. I couldnt muster a nice word or smile. I couldnt hear another bullshit reason for anything.

So, I left work 15 minutes past my normal knock off time. I got to the end of the street (ironically, there is a cemetery at the corner) and turned right and let the tears flow.

My salvation tonight was one man.

This man:
  

Thank you Captain!

One would think I should know by now…

So, the guy at work who is supp to be in charge of things tells me to cancel the phone account for the cell phones. I wait 3 weeks after he tells me. Often times, he says things on a whim, and then decides to not do the task, making me do the job unnecessarily or waste precious time doing something which later gets the axe. For example, pulling data for the last 4 months regarding a particular project, then to decide, the info isnt necessary, a guess by someone who HAS NO INVOLVEMENT in the situation will provide figures. Eh.

So, I send him on the mission to wait on the phone line for approx 30 minutes all so he can cancel the phones. See, I have waited the approx timeline and apparently he still wants to cancel them. But, in the meantime, I have a heap of other tasks to do, so I ask if he wants to sit on the phone and wait for the non-understandable person to help us cancel the account.

He thinks he has become the new super hero. Great! Certainly! Not A Problem!  So, he calls the company exactly 8 days ago. Apparently, according to him, we dont have an account with the phone company anymore. He is thrilled and protruding out his chest at such good work and such a simple task completed. By him.

So, 8 days later, the phones still work. What the? I call the phone company today and after a few minutes, they tell me that I need to fax a letterhead and so forth. Now, Im on hold with the cancellation department. I have enquired about our May 10 phone call which states that we didnt have an account, and that I certainly dont want any cancellation fees from this. (Our contract actually ended on the 13 & 15th). This little tasks has had me on hold for 14 minutes and 36 seconds so far. Eh.

Why didnt I learn in the first place that the job would not have been completed in full to an acceptable term? Why oh why, did I think ONE BLOODY TASK COULD BE HANDLED WITHOUT A HASSLE? STupid!

Bird Spotting

All pictures are property of the owner of this blog. Copying, Saving, or using without written permission of me (owner of blog) will get you hung in a tree and most likely cost you a bucket load of money. Well, just enough to buy a holiday around the world, for the rest of my life!

Saturday Snippets

So, today brought me to a great day off! The weather was gorgeous, and I was so in love with having time to just be.  I wandered to a small town which was hosting a “body art” festival.  I had been in previous years, but heard this year was to bigger and better than before. WRONG. It was still good to see people showcasing their talent, but as for bigger. No. WRONG. Instead of the previous years where there was ample room for spectators as well as the artists to walk the area and look at the event, the organizers put them in one area. Similar to a corral, spectators could only see if the person if front of decided to move or leave their area. And, you couldnt stand there for an amount of time and watch the creation unfold, because you were being nudged in the back by people trying to get around the event. Oh, did I forget to mention that while this event was on, the usual Saturday markets (which draws 1000’s of people on a busy) was also on. Einstein move? Not so much.  More like Charlie Brown.

Either way, it was still good to be there and support it. Will I be going back next year? Im not sure. This year sort of turned me off the whole thing. If I can not stand and enjoy the artists work and watch the talent of the creation before unfold as a story, Im not sure I need to see it. I will just read about it the paper. Afterall, the photos the journos take will probably be better than what I can see from my 4th person deep, tippy toe raised viewing spot. All because some organizer couldnt keep it the way it was before. Look, if its working, why change it? Serious.

I did get a few shots of the event. I couldnt be bothered cropping or touching anything up for any of you. BUT, please remember, These photos are listed to my rights. Copyrighted for my own use. Any copying or saving for your own use without my written permission is ILLEGAL.

OK. Now that the mean parts done…

What a great idea! Certainly were a huge hit, there was a line up for these things.

Corset.. complete with FULL toe stockings!

 

 

I LOVED photographing this girl.. she had such great energy about her.. from the makeup to the hair to the look in her eyes… but I only took a few, I didnt want her to think I was stalking her!

 

So.. which one do you think is best?

How Nice…

Originally, I lived in Minnesota. I now live in the ‘land down under’.

In Minnesota, there was always this saying once people knew from other states knew you were from there. They would all say… “Oh, Minnesota Nice” cuz if you listen to the hype, and stumble upon a few good ol Minnesotans… you kinda feel like you have known them your whole life. Whether you wanted to or not, we are just that damn nice that they gave us a special term.

Minnesota Nice

Sometimes I have seen this extend to stopping in the middle of the your hurried drive home in a blizzard to help a fellow motorists get his car back on the road rather than the giant 10 foot snowbank its stuck in, –10 degrees windchill… you get the idea

Sometimes, the lady you run into whom you havent seen for years asks “How are you” and actually gives a shit. She stands there long enough to listen. With concern, she may even ask a few more questions about you since you last saw each other.

Sometimes, a Minnesotan will offer to pick up your relatives at the airport (even tho they have never met them) and if the Minnesota Nice really comes out, might get an invite for dinner (casserole or def a meat and potatoes kinda thing) or the classic "you dont need to get a hotel room, heck Joe, your family can stay at our place, plentya room for ‘em all”.

Anyway, you get the point. Where I come from its just plain nice. Nice folks. Nice cattle. Nice pets. Nice everything. I sometimes believe its due to the winter lasting forever that our brains freeze in that Nice mode… we dont know any better.

So, I move to Australia. The land down under. Here is the biggest thing that really, i mean REALLY shits me. Always has. But for some reason this week, its just irking underneath my skin.

Scenario: Im at work. Pass a fellow co-worker (using the term lightly here) for the first time of the day.

Me: “Morning (name), how are you?”

It: “Hi, hows things?” and walks away.

WHAT? Now: A- you didnt respond to the question asked. And then, B- you ask me a question and then leave sight.

Now, in MN, we would pull you up for being rude. Not answering a question is just plain rude. Walking away after asking a question is liable to get you shot by a hunting rifle in MN. And, in MN, we would probably follow you around (while you were walking away from us) to answer YOUR question to us. For goodness sakes, we dont want to be seen as rude, and you asked us a question, therefore, goes to reason you were looking for an answer.

Here? Here its the norm! Im not sure if it cuz they dont really care how I am, or if they have super slack listening and communicating skills, or if they are just plain RUDE.

But, for this week, its really shitting me. And so today I gave it back to them. I asked a question about them, and walked away before they could answer it. I figure if I do it to those who do it to me, thats alright. But, Im not gonna get rid of this MN NICE… Im just going to bring it out for good, nice, and kind people… and for those who shower…. and wear cologne or perfume rather than adorn their body with smelly clothes and funky BO smells. Yep. Thats the plan. Keep the MN NICE for people who deserve it.

So, tell me… “HOW ARE YOU?”

 

 

 

 

 

Goodness

 

EEEEE GAAADS!

I have neglected this blog for a bit, and for that Im sorry. Back to the grind of it!

Work has been bizarre, crazy & insanely frustrating at the best of moments. Selling? Yes. No. Yes. No. Overprice ourselves. Ask too much money. Try to salvage our ‘good name reputation’ due to a variety of circumstances. Sell NOW. Wait. Hurry to get information. No. No sale.

Then, in the same breath, maybe a workable agreement. ? Seriously, what the heck is going on? How am I supp to manage all this?  There is the part of me that wants to go elsewhere, but due to some travelling commitments and visitors coming, if I can hold out until the new year, it would be great. If they could hold out until then, thats great too. But then the stress and frustration comes and I just want to pack it up that day. 

Maybe most of us feel that way about work? I dont know.  Im so baffled by all the latest developments, or lack of developments, that I think my head is just spinning with it all.

Went to the PT today and was great. Painful – on slightly. Good news is that my biking is going well for my recovery of my knees. We had grinding yet, but its better than it was. Good news, it was 3 weeks since my last appt so its good to know that my progress is actually going somewhere positive! And, my change in how I am doing things with my knees, walking, etc is working.  Lots of work, but hey, has to be done. Surgery is not an option that I like, and with the progress I can see and FEEL, I am pleased that I hadnt booked in for surgery when it was suggested.

I have done a bit of home redecorating and loving it. Nothing major, but a few adjustments which I really like. And special thanks to my fantastic friends who donated 2 gorgeous and comfy chairs to the ‘InALittleMinute Redecoration Fund’.  They even came with footstools… Monroe is loving it. Although the first 2 days she had difficulties with the new chair. See, it replaced the recliner which was big and chunky, with a sleek chair.  Monroe previously loved to sit on the back of the recliner and take naps… imagine the first jump onto the new sleek chair and not work… yep.. Monroe did this clumsy half ass ‘save myself’ jump and landed about 2 feet away from the chair. Not once. Not twice. FOUR times. Each followed by a nasty ass chewing directing straight at me. Luckily, I think I have convinced her the footstool is more comfy. We will see… she likes to make up her own mind on things. All in time.

In fact, Im still waiting for her to fall madly in love with the sheepskin rug I bought for her.  Still waiting. Now, when I look at the rug on the couch (its not really a rug, but a large square) all I see is a blaring large price stating $32.50 wasted! Damn it. I try to convince myself she lays on it when Im at work. Trying. Instead, I only see her hide her plastic mice under there and then charge at it to uncover her loved mouse and fling it in the air.

How do you make a cat understand that its not a toy, its supp to comfy for her. Ugh.

I have had a few good bits of news these past few weeks:

• friend coming to visit for a holiday
• booked a holiday… RELAXING holiday
• progress going well on my knees
• put the shoe shelf together
• packed away some clothes in the closet

So, all in all, I think this is going to be a really good year. My birthday is coming up .. in July… but somehow it seems as people have these targets set for people when they reach a certain age.

Milestones.

Kids, house, hubby, picket fence…. etc

My milestones: great life, lots of love, fantastic friends & family, stability in my own thoughts,… all sorts of things that make me think Im on the right track. And, my milestones are going quite fine. I certainly dont need to follow the norm of the milestones society sees fit. Afterall, I do like to rebel a bit.

So, Im back on the blog. Trust me. See you tomorrow.

Oh, How I Have Missed You.

-

Weekend Advice

So while I was minding my own business this weekend… waiting patiently in the aisle to purchase my groceries, I was given ‘advice’ from a complete stranger.

Now, before we go ANY further, its important to note that most often I can have some facial expressions which I do not realize occur. For instance, while I am thinking to myself “are you F***N crazy?” sometimes, it can almost be translated by my expression on my face. Especially if you know me. I usually am unaware of this skill as its happening.

So, back to the aisle. The long checkout aisle. As I wait with my 5 items in my hand and wonder why only 1 person is working the registers on a public holiday and a packed store…. I see a child running all around the front of the store.

 

It sort of went something like this:

Automatic Doors… run in run out.

Plow into person walking into store who is unaware of the child whose parents are unwilling to acknowledge.

Jump onto the metal railing near the register.

Smack your parent and demand a piece of candy from the stack of goodies eyeing the kid in the face.

Stumble into the person waiting in front of said parent who is unaware that the child is about to run straight up her behind because kid is not being looked after and running into things.

Hit your head on my shopping basket… Oh, didnt I move it as you ran past me for the 12th time as you decided to train for the marathon in the store? Opps. Your bad.

So, this was just a few of the incidents from the child during the short wait to purchase items.

Suddenly, the lady behind me says “Is that your little child?” all innocent and such.

Which started a conversation something like this:

Me: “NO. My child would never behave like that.”

Her: “Ah, its just a bit of fun.”

Me: “No, its not fun, its unruly, and bad behaviour and bad parenting. A kid cant stand still next to the mother for a few moments. Sad really.”

Her: “How many children do you have?”

Me: “None. I have a cat.”

Her: “Oh, its the best thing you can ever do is to have children.”

Me: (Starting to get flushed in the face and trying to contain myself) LAUGHING LAUGHING LAUGHING and then stating, “How do you know whats best for me?  Certainly isnt a child like that? I can think of better things to do with my time & life.”

And then the cashier motions me to her register.

Now, I know, some of you may have children. Actually, I like children. Just not children who are ill-behaved, rude, or not managed by their parents. See, I have this belief that if you want to spill something out of your snatch, you SHOULD really take care of it. Be responsible, teach it about life, priorities, manners, etc. DO NOT EXPECT OR ALLOW OTHERS TO RAISE YOUR CHILD FOR YOU.

Anyway, I was quite offended that some random stranger tells me that having a kid would be the best thing I would ever do in life. For one, you dont know me. You dont know my situation. You dont know my family background. You dont know my finances. You dont have a friggin clue about me. But you know whats best for me? Yeah.

And lets say that I was a person who had a strong desire to have a child. I went to IVF process’ and even adoption agencies. But due to circumstances out of my control, or beyond my bodies capabilities, I was unable to have a child. By birth or otherwise. Dont you think its a bit INSANE or RUDE to be saying the best thing I could do with my life is to have a child. Talk about salt to the wound.

I am not going to get into the reasons I do not have a child. Its personal. Its my business, and I do not have to broadcast it to anyone who I would rather not. But I do think that since I do not have a child at present (aside from my cat) I dont understand why I cant be doing great things with my life. Shit, for all this lady knew, I could have been working on the latest HIV/AIDS serum which would cure her unborn grandson someday…. Im just saying….

So to the lady in the grocery store… You deserve the Fuckwit Award for your comment.. cuz I dont see this as the BEST THING I COULD DO WITH MY LIFE….

Yeah, just not seeing it. And let me live my life. Im certainly not bothering you by how I live it. Now, Im not saying you shouldnt have kids, Im just saying, dont tell me about how my life will be incomplete without them. Cuz frankly, I find my life pretty damn good & fulfilling. Life is what you make of it.

Umph.

Can you really be jealous of a picture of 2 cartoon drawings?

YEP.

They look as if they are running around laughing, skipping away, jumping around…

I cant do any of that. Not at the moment anyway.

And it sucks. Not that I ran much… but you get my point.

My knees are hurting. They have. The process I am on seems to be working, but at the same time.. with this comes pain. And they friggin ache. Good news, Im not falling on my ass or looking like Im drunk anymore as my knees give out. They havent done that in a long time, not since this process started anyway. But they still ache. They kill.

And its making me grumpy. I know this.

And Im sure my friends are family are tired of hearing how my knees hurt, so I have tried to stop saying it. But F**K this pain has got to stop. It hurts to bend them, it hurts to keep them straight for too long.. it just bloody hurts.

And there isnt shit that can be done about it. I relaxed my usage on the pain meds (ibuprofen) trying to give my liver or kidneys or whatever it can damage so badly. I figure with the history of alcoholism in my family I dont really need to be damaging any of those organs more than they might be.

But, I think its time to get back to the grind and pop the pills for a few days. Im just wanting the pain to sub-side for a bit. Just a bit…

YOU BELIEVE IN ME, Jeffrey Gaines cover by Alan Lynes

One of my favorite songs. I have loved this song for many years, it pulls at my heart and I get all teary eyed.  The musician playing, Alan Lynes, does a fantastic cover of this song.

Belated Birthday Wishes

Today I was reading someone’s blog. They wrote how they forgot they had forgotten the birthday of their own blog, and was thankful they didnt have kids, as they probably would have forgotten the kids’ bday as well.

Shit. I missed my own blog’s 2 year bday. Yep, March 10 2008 this all began. And here it is 23 April 2010 and I only just know remember. Worst yet, I remember ONLY because some other person did the same thing. Ouch.

Naughty me.

In the 2 years of this blog, its been thru dramas, laughter, pressing moments, happy times, anger, sad and lonely moments. But, thru it all, have been my readers. Thanks.  I love that you check in on me.

Happy Birthday Blog!

Cuz its funny. Thats why.

You know when you get a postcard, and it has some interesting facts about either the photo on the card, or the town where the card is from?

Check out this postcard (I had to crop it as it is someone’s personal postcard, and I didnt think they really wanted me to post all their mushy details to all of you)-

It says: “Madison, Wisconsin     Easy to find, hard to believe”

ABSOL LOVE IT.  I dont know why, but I find that damn funny. Is it just me? The catch phrase is fantastic… so fantastic that I think Im going to walk around all day and repeat those damn words.. and then LAUGH Laugh LAUGH really loud!

Interesting…

It seems that whether its friends or workers, or the check out chick at the store.. we all judge a bit. We all make a choice in the selection of people who want to surround us.

For instance, if there 2 Check Out Chicks at CashMeGo’s foodstore waiting to help me and 1 of them looks like she has no care in her appearance and has stringy greasy hair, and the other 1 has snot dripping down her nose and continues to rub her wrist over her nose to catch the snot… which one do you go to?

Cause here is my rationalization on that issue:

Girl 1: stringy greasy hair means she may have overslept for her job and couldnt wash her head. Or, like in Australia, I found out women with LONG hair tend to not wash it everyday as we do in the USA… mostly every few days. Eck. ECK. EEEECCCKKKK. anyway, culture difference moving on.  Maybe she is studying to be a doctor and was doing her internship at the hospital all night, and this is her job to put her thru school. Or maybe she just is nasty and doesnt like to look her best, or for that matter, hygienic, for her job.

Girl 2: lovely, please touch my money, my groceries, my bag, etc… please… and while your there with that snotty hand, go on, give me my receipt.  There are no excuses. Use a tissue damnit. Your touching my stuff… EEEECCCKKK.

So, what do you? You drop your selection of goodies on the floor, or walk away from the cart and run out of the store screaming… EEEECCKKKK while waving your hands in the air back and forth.

Ok, maybe not. But wouldnt it be great to see one of these signs one day…

Take another little piece of my heart…

 

Somedays do you ever just sit and wonder how far in life you have become? Looking back at the different relationships, and why you were there, and why you left?  It sometimes seems so surreal when I look back and ‘analyze’ life and my actions within my own life.

Then, I look at others, and wonder what impact I have had on their life. Such as:

Does the idiot who I broke up with because the only motivation he had was to get high, and get laid (not always just by me either)… did he ever grow up out of that. Did he finally stop beating his girlfriends?

Or, how about the young girl who thinks Im older than the hills and wont listen when you give her advice. Without shattering the facade of her life, you try to be there and listen, and offer help. She denies it. You wish she would realize that the path shes travelling isnt a healthy one. She will learn in her own time. Yet, will that be before or after her life altering decisions come winding down the path like a Mack truck. And then, when it does, will she even comprehend that THIS very moment was what you were talking about?

Then theres the person you worked with years ago. You partied hard, had great laughs, and always enjoyed the days that they were scheduled with that person on the same shift. You shared so much with that person. The perils of life. The shit job gossip. The dreams you had. The relationship issues you had with your current man. The way your family judged. So much was shared. And now, a million miles away, and years of not knowing what the hell they are up to, do you wonder if they ever think back to those times. Those times when life seemed so difficult, and yet, it was the time of our lives, living it up and thinking we were invincible. Does your ex-coworker ever think of those times? Those times when your 8 hour shift seemed to be easier cuz you could laugh with someone every now and then.

Its odd to see how many people come & go into your life. And when you realize how many peoples lives you have come & gone from. The reason why you came into it, the reason why you left it. And all those lives that you dont even remember enough stuff to think twice about all those years later.

Well, today, I thought of you. I thought of my lost friends who have passed on in a variety of ways. Those who now lead a different path than myself. And, yes, I even thought of the loser boy who I once was prepared to give up everything to be with, because at the time, I thought that was what I wanted.

And, now, tonight, after a few Capt’n & Cokes… I realize.. I am better for knowing all of them, and Im better for not speaking to at least HALF of them. And, I am content in knowing that I made a difference in some of the lives I was in as well. I know that most of the people who I encountered and shared my life with for whatever amount of time, they have taught me something. Some taught me more than others. Either way, they helped me.

So, to all those friends… alive or dead.. cheers to you. And although we may not call each other friends anymore, shit, we might not even think of each other anymore (not even in memory stories we tell), I thank you for your influence in my life.

For you, having been in my life, have taken another little piece of my heart… and for that, I am thankful. For you have helped me shape me.

What?

Last night I watched a tv show where people switch lives with another person and have to live with that persons family for 2 weeks. The first week they have to live my the rules in place. The second week they can modify the rules and the ‘adopted’ household have to live per the new rules.  Sometimes its an interesting show, sometimes it just another crap bit of tv.

Last night it was pretty good. A lady whose lifestyle means she wants for nothing has switched with a freeganism lifestyle. WHOA. WHAT?

So Lady 1 (L1) lives in a nice house, kids, husband, and the ethic of working is very real. And, because they have the nice house and apparent high paying jobs, they pay a shit load of taxes. Sounds familiar right?

Lady 2 (L2) lives in a small motorhome with her husband and 1 child.  They have a job (thats what they call it). They go and preach the word of GOD to people on the streets and then hope they are given a donation of money. They live by what GOD provides.

So L1 & L2 switch lives. They have no idea what they are up for until they walk into the door of the new home.  Imagine the surprised looks. One has a look of “I would not use this to travel on holidays in” and the other has a look of “ANTI CONSUMERISM at its best, over indulgence and selfish living”.

I knew it would be good tonight!

What I didnt expect was that the 2 ladies and their families were civil about their lifestyles & values to the other individual. I dont recall an argument (common on the show) or a slagging of words party. Instead, Mr Businessman (L1 husband) tries to ask what sort of contribution L2 brings to the society she is supp trying to help. L2 says she is spreading the word of GOD and he provides. He asks her if  she doesnt work and does not provide trade of goods for cash etc, what happens when she or anyone in the ‘community’ (which is really a group of people in motorhomes who camp out at the local parks every night) gets sick.. what do they do? L2 explains they use the national health system. This, doesnt go down well. Mr Businessman wants to know why she feels its okay to use it, when she doesnt pay taxes. Afterall, he spends a bucket on taxes, and she spends nothing. No income. No taxes. He feels she shouldnt have access to what others who are working to have should be able to use. He also feels that because she doesnt work, her kid shouldnt be attending the same school that others who do contribute to the economy should. Afterall, why should she get the same benefits as those who contribute to the economy. Especially after she rants on about anti consumerism and the evils of it, and the pride she feels of not having to take part in such tasks. She explains that she feels empowered to life off of what GOD provides.

Provides? She digs in dumpsters for food. GOD didnt provide that for you. If you have to go in the middle of the night and scavenge without permission, its not being provided for you.

L1 is trying to adapt to the lifestyle of freeganism. She explains she would feel better if they had permission to take the food if they are not buying it. Which apparently is not allowed to do. You cant ask for things. Remember, GOD provides. And so, GOD provides these people with the food which if caught, could end them in jail. See.. thats stealing. But somehow, GOD provides it.

WHAT?

L1 attitude was highly respected by myself. She had a lot of concern for the child who is embarrassed by how his parents live. He cant have friends over to his place. He hasnt been invited to parties, because he can never buy a present for his buddys bday. Etc. Eventually, L1 throws the kid a birthday party for his 10th bday.. his first bday cake ever, first celebration with people who are there for his special day. The kid is over the moon. He is thrilled someone thought so well of him to throw him a party.

And, he has a pet mouse (thinking Wilbur yet?). He explains its the only pet he can really have in such a small space.

L2 obviously is having a difficult time with spending money on groceries. She hates the waste of food. Always saying that wasting the food affects the global environment.

Honey.. you living off everyone else’s handouts affects the global environment as well.

L2 takes her new family garbage dumping… freeloading.. whatever. Mr Businessman is shocked by the wastage of companies, but expresses that if this is so OK why are they doing it in the night, and why does the law consider this an offence. L2 rants about anti consumerism and blah blah blah.

Finally everyone sets back into their normal routines. L1 and her husband begin minimizing wastage at their house as to earlier lifestyle choices. They also have started a food drive for those less fortunate from the restaurants and bakeries in town helping.

L2 and her husband, well, they upgraded their motorhome and continued to discuss how they do not need jobs in the traditional sense. They feel they are doing the greater good.

They walk the streets and hand out pamphlets. Seriously.

L1 & her family bought L2 son a computer. They felt it important for the boy to have some interaction with his school like normal kids do. They also didnt want his schooling to be disadvantaged because of how his parents choose to live.

The show got me thinking. And for once, it was nice to see 2 different sides of life try to integrate into each other without all the temper tantrums, and so forth. Civil people with vastly different ideals trying to communicate. Interesting….

City of Statues?

The other week I had to venture to my nearest “major city” for some government stuff. So, off on the train we go, set for the train ride which could either be from hell or liveable, all depending who is on the train, and if the vast majority decided to be presentable and shower for the event.

Seemed as all went well, there were 2 kids (ok, teenagers) who were a bit rude, but I think everyone just let them be and the teenagers thought they were all cool with their foul language and rude behaviour. However, had their parents been on the train, I think we would have all looked at them in disgust and shook our finger at their bad parenting ‘skills’.

But, smell wise, not so bad. You can tell we have had lots of rain lately, as everyone seems to shower (lots of people on tank water, and laziness too!) anyway, lots of people tend to show more when we have a few days/weeks of rain.

So, we venture into the city.. and I didnt realize that in the spot which I frequent when I need to do this government stuff is the amount of statues within my area.  I knew there were a few, but hadnt realized just how many. 

Obviously, a tribute to the servicemen & servicewomen.

 

And heres a little photo of some of the buildings…

I love this photo… its so cool how an older looking style of building can exist among the more modern business style buildings.

Great night out

So, a few weeks ago, we had tickets to a fantastic show which airs on TV here in Australia. Its called RockWiz… and its basically a music trivia show. Plain & Simple, you either know it or you dont… if your a RockWiz fan, you ARE A FAN. If your not, you havent a clue what Im on about at the moment.

Either way, its a fantastic show with great talent, and 2 special guests (celebrity status) who are on stage with 4 people from the audience to answer a variety of questions. Some weeks I feel really intelligent, and other weeks.. well, other weeks I feel as if I have no musical credibility at all.

The show is on tour of the nation. Tickets for the show we attended sold out in 3 days. Amazing! 

It was such a fantastic night! I went with 3 of my favorite people as well, and the night was magnificent! 

I am here...

Im just wandering thru the thoughts & emotions lately....and to be honest.. havent really had a moment to myself, and those moments I have had.. Ive been busy just being.  So.. I will write tomorrow... promise!

Oh my…

You know Jello.. its that lovely stuff from your childhood and brings back memories galore. In fact, you probably still use it to this day!

So apparently life is tough. Its so tough that a couple in their late 60’s in the good ol state of New York bought some boxes of Jello. 4 to be exact.

They emptied them.

They filled them with sand & salt.

The returned them to the store.

YEP. to the store.

For a refund.

Which, is about total dollars…. under $5.00 for the 4 boxes.. or right there abouts. Except now they also get charges against them for petit larceny & tampering with a consumer product.  Lets hope the judge is stern.

Sad isnt it. Stupid is as stupid does. At least go for something a bit more pricey.

Its come true

So, after many wishes on anything, I mean ANYTHING which could remotely bring me the least little bit of luck.. its happened. After a 9 year process… I now am guaranteed that I can stay in this country, for good.

So, I celebrated this weekend by sleeping as much as I could. You dont realize how much stress & strain 9 years of uncertainty, worry, money dripping to each facet of life.. how it all drains you. Much less that your in your 30’s and apparently this is when I should be having a savings acct, know my life plan… etc.

Shit.. any money went straight towards my future. Immediately. And so, now, NOW, I can save for things. And be secure in the contentment that Im here. No need to rush anywhere else.

Do the jiggy-jig dance for me. Its a celebration y’all. This weekend.

RocKwiz comes to Nambour. [HQ]

RocKwiz comes to Nambour. [HQ]

Heres a brief video of where I was on Friday night.. celebrating with friends... too much too share at the moment.. will update you soon! And, no, unfortunately, none of my gang appeared on stage.. oh well, always next time!  Oh, click the underlined words to get the video to play!