InALittleMinute

i dislike my emotions today

2011-09-24T21:53:00.000+10:00

im feeling very blah. and yet very frustrated today. I have this rage inside me today that just wants to let it all go... I want to go run from everything... yet theres really nothing to run from. Im just feeling a bit overwhelmed today I guess.

Maybe it doesnt help that:

-the job I for sure thought i aced and would get to the next level, doesnt want me... ?? wtf?
-my friend has been sentenced to at least 10 years in prison.. again... yep.. slow learner
-im frustrated with people in general
-i think the lack of disregard of other peoples space and all is a joke lately
-its school holidays here in Oz, so it appears as if no one is watching their children
-i had a kid throw a rock at me yesterday.... good upbringing... everything in power to not choke the little shit and his mother

so, nothing really extravagent.. just feel so *&(*&(*&(*&*()_)__ over everything... I just want to scream... I want to cry... I just want to hide.. I want to get in my car and crank the tunes as loud as they can go, and be on a road where no one else is driving...

Ive had enough for the day. Lets hope tomorrow is better. It certainly should be.

umpf

2011-08-20T20:07:00.000+10:00

just one of those days today. Ive been thinking lots of my friend, and all that he must be going thru. Hes doing dialysis 3 times a week... can you imagine how much that wears on you? He is such a beautiful soul, and hates to discuss how sick he is. Always has. Even when we were in 9th grade.. never discussed it. And, for whatever reason, he still doesnt want to. He had such hopes and dreams, and here he sits... on dialysis every other day. I love you my friend, there are not enough words to express my love for you. We may not speak often, but you have always been with me. Always. I hope you find it within yourself to get better, to get stronger... we all care so much about you, and certainly wish great things for you and your health. Ah, my friend...

round 2

2011-08-04T14:07:00.000+10:00

why is it that certain groups of people just cant seem to get out of the way at the bottom, or top, of the escalator? or the elevator? especially when they are use to groups of people in confined spaces? im not naming the origin of particular people, just always baffles me....

anyway, back to me..it was great to see the people I saw.. but didnt get to see everyone I wanted or intended to see. Oh well, only so much time, adn family priorities snuck their head in.... it was a bit difficult being home... what was once so normal to me all those years ago, just wasnt so normal anymore. it was a bit strange to really feel like a foreigner in my 'home country'. For the first week, i kept touching the back of the toilet to flush it... almost feel down teh escalator... ya know.. walking to the left and all... I suppose it would be different if i was a true visitor there, as everything would be so new to you that you would be on your toes to all teh differences, but when thats originally where your from, adn most things look the same, but tweeked a bit to be different... it was odd. A few friends even noticed a blank look on my face if we were out together and i wasnt sure about something, they would just help me out or answer for me... adn then we would have a good giggle about it.

It was nice to be home, see people, and be in the environment, but its feeling nice to know that im on my way home.. to my 'normal' surroundings and to what is all comfy & cozy to me again..and my own bed... oh i cant wait!

well, time to change clothes and chill for a bit before i make my way to the terminal for more sitting... and waiting! thank goodness mom told me about the lounge, certainly made my stop in LAX so much nicer to be at! moms are so good... and soon I get to see mine again!!!!

photos to come later, when im actually at a spot where im not having to watch my purse, luggage, and time my pee breaks ! HAHAHHA.

nothing like killing time at an airport

2011-08-04T12:14:00.000+10:00

Sitting at the airport, with another 4 hours to go before they will tell me if Im on the plane (beauty of standby) .. so ive paid to check into a lounge and chill out for awhile.. all good

im anxious to get home, to what I now know as normal. Dont get me wrong, Ive had a good time in the states, some better than others... but Im looking forward to being in my own comfortable environment again.. with my friends (whom I have chosen very carefully, and very dear to my heart) and resume life as normal - except for that damn Salt Mines of a JOB.. that Im not looking forward to so much. Interesting tho, with some very stressful situations that arose during my trip back to the states, my stomach acid didnt act up like it does when Im at work.. so, test results are in.. my job stresses me.. confirmed.

I got to see my biological father. Hard to see someone who you once saw as a strong man with a lot of energy and zest for life.. barely able to walk.... much less walk & carry any items of weight. He stopped drinking only days before I came, and that resulted in a seizure during our first visit.. thankfully, other people were around. Nothing like seeing your dad piss himself and not remember a damn thing... hard to see, adn yet, a part of me just wanted him to not be in pain anymore. gut wrenching. Ive done pretty good talking on the phone to him, but to see him in his situation was a bit too much... i spent as much time as i emotionally could with him. One day I had spent about 6 hours with him, before I just felt I had to escape.. I couldnt bare it anymore, and I was drained from holding back the tears. He was sweet, offered me a popsicle before i left.. couldnt do it.. it felt like I just had to run and escape the situation...and the guilt... oh goodness teh guilt and sorrow I feel. And no matter how many times people tell me to not have guilt... well, until your in that situation... dont tell me my feelings arent valid. I know its said with love & concern, but damn it... its my feelings. It hurts. Its got to... hes my dad.

Grandma is doing well. Although, when anyone asks, she makes it sound like shes on her death bed. But man, you wave the offer of food to her, or the Twins Baseball game, or the casino, and that 87 year old granny of mine will out run you... in fact, I had to slow her down on teh way to dinner one night, she just darted across the street, not looking for cars... YIKES! it was nice to spend time with her and just be. Wasnt real thrilled on watching the twins every night... I like baseball as much as I like cricket.. and neither of the two make my list of shit to watch. BUT i did, to hang with grandma. Ive now discovered teh reason why I THINK the older ladies watch baseball.. after a few conversations with the older ladies... it seems to me that the outfits, most notably, the pants and the 'cute butt' are what keep those statistics up and people watching! i heard one particular lady, who is 92, say that the pitcher was so good looking in his pants... I couldnt help but laugh out loud... grandma noticed me giggling...and promptly told her she would call her back later! I learned grandma's trick for corn on the cob in the micro... always liked it when she made it for me... even as a kid.. just couldnt remember teh trick! baking paper... goodness. Got it now. Shes doing well, but hard to see her get a bit older too... but somehow she will always remain in her 60's to me... so full of life, and her mind is so vivid yet, and she and I had some good conversations. Although, she talks over the news program... but I soon learned to listen to HER & the news ... but didnt dare speak during the Wheel of Fortune! I so wish she would have went on that show... she would have been rich... how she knows those phrases so quickly.... amazes me. God love her... shes so special.

Alright... time for a pee break & smoke break... post another one later.

beforehand

2011-07-17T00:24:00.000+10:00

so ive arrived in MN, and cant help but be amazed by all the green... the trees, the lawns, everything is so lush. I had forgotten just how lush that mn green is. Gorgeous. I also forgot how damn cute that MN accent is... although a few times I thought was somewhere in the Ozarks when listening to people, there have been a few times I couldnt help but chuckle at the accent. Now I understand why jules gets that little girl giggle if I say a certain word... because this morning, the lady behind the counter was dressed in her Hilton Outfit... hair tied back, looking all professional and grown up. I asked a question, received an answer, and then she kept chatting.... and when she said the word BEFOREHAND, I had to stop myself from giggling... i cant describe how she said it, or what it sounded it like, but it was very enunciated and said in three parts. Too cute. So far, thats the top of my morning. I havent headed out shopping yet.. teh damn shuttle only leaves at 10:20... its only 9 now...and Im ready to go. ugh.Anticipation....

So, Ive met with my ex.. you knew that right? Its been alright.. although a few things have really tweaked my head. I guess you forgot sometimes how much you know about someone when you live with them. We lived together for awhile, and apparently he still remembers some of my 'better qualities'. When I walked in to the hotel room, about 5 minutes later he asks if its clean enough. I state 'yeah, dont you think so?" He replies with, "you used to always check the drain and tub for hair and how clean it is... do you still do that?' Really, thats what he remembers about me. We go out to dinner and have a mongolian bbq... and they serve you a chicken wing on a side plate as a standard part of your meal. I offer mine to him, as its just not my thing. He says to me, " you still dont like to eat things off the bone, huh? still just eat chicken breasts not wings ?"

Oh the things people remember about you. So basically, he remembers that hygiene is extremely important to me, and that Im not one of those people who will just gnaw into my food... more of a delicate sort of gal I guess. Just thought it was funny the things you remember of people from your past.

Well, time for another coffee, and to try to put my 10 pounds of lollies for everyone into a different bag... and some other things in the luggage... it will be so nice to get to Gram's place and put my clothes out... and not ahve to dig for my stuff between the cords, the coffee, the shoes.... etc.

Well, only an hour to go now before I get onto that shuttle to take me shopping! fingers crossed.... Im looking to shop til I drop! I have to back here at the hotel until 430, so the plan of attack is to get there, grab a directory, grab some brekky, and sort out my stores.. however, all taht could change depending which store they drop me off at ... and Macy's is having a 30-80 percent off sale today only... :) One happy Michele... wait, is there a Macy's there?

days to chill

2011-07-15T16:08:00.001+10:00

i have arrived in LAX with my few days to chill, and suddenly tonight I look at the clock, and its time to head out tomorrow. I should really be in bed already, but thats not happening... oh well. I have had a great time here in LAX just chilling out and catching up on sleep, recovering from jet lag. My hotel was super clean, has a pool, free brekky, nice staff, and a Denny's connected to it.

My first time to Dennys was like I had never walked into one before. The waiter came up to me 3 times to take my order.... will the photos it should have been simple to find something. But, I couldnt... I was engulfed in reading all the different options for my eating adventure. There was a burger with : bacon, cheese, a sauce, 2 patties, lettuce, onion, etc... served with chips... and then there was the chicken drizzeled in some sauce, served with some veggies... sounds normal, but to read the descriptions while i looked at teh photos my stomach began to cramp thinking there was no way it was ready for american food yet. You know.. item A slapped with this and that and for an extra dollar amount i could it smothered in a variety of sauces, and it comes with options of salad or chips... it was all too much. In the end, I just choose a burger with bacon and cheese. Sounded simple. But, I did order cheese sauce for my chips! I couldnt finish it all.. and it seemed to worry my waiter. In being fair, when I walked in I thought I had entered into a Overeaters Anonymous group.. holy shit.... massive people that evening;... maybe that helped in not wanting to finish my meal? certainly an experience.

my trip here was great. I made it on business class with Virgin Australia... felt like a princess. even had Richard Branson 3 seats away from me. Hows that for an escort? Nice huh? he was very friendly, and accomadated EVERYONE who asked him for a photo.. i reckon at least 100 people approached him. Poor guy cant get a minute to himself really- except when he goes to the bathroom... which he seemed to escape to on a regular basis... fair enough. Business class was amazing.. I had my own bed laid down, and the attendant made the bed for me.. complete with a little mattress thing, blanket and pajamas (which are really really comfy by the way). The stars on the cabin ceiling in the evening were a nice touch. And the bar was a good spot to go and stand for a bit and catch up with a few people. Only met one idiot who was a complete waste of space... he was cut off by the staff on the drinks, he was just obnoxious.. and babbled on and on about his girlfriend who works for virgin and got him a cheap ticket and she met Branson the night before and he was very jealous, so he was lingereing by the bar so taht he could meet him as well. somehow he has dual citizenship with america and canada and australia... hes from vancouver orginally but lives in brisbane.. dickhead. im sure his girlfriend is a winner too... if she still has a job after his incident on the plane. Funny thing was, he was trying to brag to me and another guy at the bar who were on standby tickets too, so werent all that jealous... just glad we werent him! He ended up interrupting bransons breakfast to introduce himself and made more of a dick of himself. Felt bad that peolple couldnt just respect the businessman and let him enjoy a bit of brekky..but he was a champion, he said hello, let them say their peace...and then posed for a photo... all while the coffee went colder.

so tomorrow Im off to MN... let the next stage begin... Oh, and I cant get my hotmail to work all that great, so im not sending an email, but Im letting some important people in my life know something.. as great as your loyalty is, I watched 3 episodes tonight of True Blood... thank goodness for HBO in the hotel... and nothing else was on... so you can feel free to know that my pretty eyes have seen 1-3... so feel free to do your thing at The Haven..... and thanks for your loyalty.. but go ahead and watch it.. its good! Hope your all well. Miss ya.

Oh, forgot.. the hotel room Im staying in was where Howard Huges and Jane Russell stayed when they filmed the movie The Outlaw. Dont know when that was.. will have to research that a bit. But, the hotel is loaded with history of celebs from back when teh days of acting were actually acting. Ive been having some weird dreams as well, and Im assuming thats due to some pretty good stories of history this hotel has seen. Oh if the walls and the pool could talk! I wonder how many times Marilyn would have ventured here? Afterall, the hotel was built in 1953, so you can imagine what it would have been like in its hayday.

alright.. i have to settle my bum and get to bed. Early start tomorrow, to linger in teh airport until my flight in the morning. Such fun. My backpack is loaded with 10 bloody pounds of lollies for family...as my luggage was over the domestic limit... so i figure if it gets really bad, i can just break out the lollies.

Oh, last thing.. i knew I was home when I heard a mother at the baggage carousel say to her child 'your really starting to piss me off, just shut up and settle down".... ah... parents who can control their children.. havent seen a lot of that in the few years in Australia... HAHAHA. The airport wasnt riddled with unruly children acting up.. oh wait.. there was a few, but they were all tourists, and most probably off my Australian flight. LOL.

Night... sweet dreams.

Mixed Emotions... Sweet Emotions.... Who knows

2011-07-02T08:26:00.000+10:00

So Im preparing to leave for my trip back to the USA soon. Its odd whats happening to my emotions. Some times I feel all excited to go back and see everyone. Some times I feel as if I dont want to leave HERE, its my HOME.. and all things over there feel so foreign to me. I dont remember how to use the pump at the gas (not petrol....)station... I will be one of those people every one will be frustrated at while I figure it out again for the first time. I will be the person saying, "No, I dont remember how to get to your house." And they get all upset having to give me directions again. All I want to do is say to them.. "sorry, do you know how to get to my house?" No.. so be patient with me. Its not where I live anymore... its not my daily surroundings... please treat me with kindness.

Which leads me to a whole 'nother side: the hestiation. When I call people 'back home' everyone is so busy.. so scattered trying to squeeze everything in. Will anyone just want to sit and chat? Or will they be too busy on their phones organizing tomorrow, all while Im still there.. waiting to converse with them? All so busy, I wonder if anyone really , I MEAN REALLY, takes life in and appreciates it anymore? Why do I say this? Because its normal American behavior... to be BUSY BUSY BUSY... and I USED to be like that... until I discovered that there is another side to life.. You can be busy.. but you also need to take time for the important things.... I've learned that since living here. And, not only have I learned that, but I have learned how to IMPLEMENT that into practice.

I am excited... Im thrilled to see a few people who Im anxiously waiting to see. I almost get giddy when I think of seeing some of my family and my grandma... I feel like Im 5 years old again, the excitement running thru. And, Im anxious to shop again.... just to wander... to try things on.. to purchase NON BEACH wear!

Driving here there and everywhere is only happening for a few days.. for a few important things. Im okay with that.. it will be nice to see the country side of Good Ol Minnesota... I miss that scenery.

Im going to meet a bunch of kids from a daycare centre who I have become a sort of penpal with. Its a huge trek for me to do it (I know.. its only 3 hours from where Im staying.. but come on... its 3 there.. 3 back... a day there to visit.. so basically 2 bloody days out of my trip).

Many people have offered to come and visit me.. to COME TO ME.. wow! I have some great friends! The desire to catch up with them is unreal.... and it makes it so special for my short time home.

So, Im excited... anxious... nervous... scared... and once I get over a few little possible bumps in my stay (thanks dad...) hoepfully all things will be good. Im sure it will.... its got to be.

But yeah, using the credit card machine is way different in different countries... getting use to walking on the OTHER side of the sidewalk again without running into people.... the petrol pump.. err... gas pump... going in to buy an item and not seeing anything that looks familiar... please be patient... Im home.. but oh such a foreigner....

huh

2011-06-06T13:20:00.000+10:00

I had always hoped one day you would forgive me. Forgive me for shattering some of those dreams & aspirations of us. I never meant to hurt you.. but time & lives were all different then. They just were.

Im glad things have worked out the way they have. I love my life, and I hope you are happy living yours. Its obvious we were meant to be together.. because the thought of living the life you lead just seems so restraining to me. Its not where I would want to be.. well esp now that I have seen the other side (grass is always greener, isnt it). I love my freedom, my ability to pack up & go.. my desire to do what I want, with minimal limitations set forth on me... and its okay that we lead different lives. No one said this would be easy.

Its okay that you have a complete different scene that what I do. Its okay that I enjoy my time, being selfish, running around all hours of the day... well into the evening. And, its okay, that you have the more settled family life. I just wish you werent so unhappy. I can hear it in your voice... your miserable. And for that, I am really sorry that you must live each day in some sort of agony of your choices. I have regret & sorrow for you that you havent learned how to be strong enough to stand up and do what is right for you... to take charge of your life... to make sure that you are happy, rather than what makes others happy... I was hoping you may have learned that by now... but no.

I only wish for you happiness.. in whatever form & way you may want. Because really, we should all be able to say that we lived our lives how we wanted too....and in a way which makes us feel whole.

Getting Older

2011-05-20T10:59:00.000+10:00

There is a particular lady in my vicinity that lives in an "aged care facility". She is usually seen hanging around the shopping complex nearby where we live. Her attire is always intriguing - polka dots mixed with stripes, bold colors, layers upon layers of clothing... a bit eccentric lets say. Adding to the array of fashion disasters, is her bold red lipstick which is placed about 2 inches around her lip outline. She definitely stands out.

Her name is Elizabeth, and most people know OF her. She is usually sitting on the bench, asking someone if they could spare a stamp, or if she sizes you up correctly, asking you if you could spare a smoke for her. Shes harmless, and seems to enjoy her moments in life.

Not too many people stop and say hello, due to her 'colorful' clothes, or the fact that random stranger sitting there seems harmless.. but most dont give her the time of day. But, everyone is aware of Elizabeth - they know her name, and where she lives, and everyone knows shes going to ask you to spare something.

I always say "hello Elizabeth" as to which the standard reply, "do you have a spare smoke ( or stamp)?" I usually tell her no, but somedays I do give her a smoke... probably out of just being nice, or guilt, or that I feel a bit sorry for her. Im not sure which really.

The other day, after seeing her for many days in a row, I said, "hello Elizabeth" and she responded with, 'I'm sorry, I have forgotten your name, do I know you?" I told her my name, and that I live in the area, and she acknowledged me, and we began chatting.

She told me how when she was 12 her sister & parents moved from England to come to Australia. They guaranteed her dad would have a job when he arrived off the boat. They set sail for a promise of a new job, and new beginnings. You can imagine the turmoil when there wasnt any jobs for her dad after arriving in Australia. Eventually, he took a job 'with an American company' she tells me 'NCR, you know, National Cash Register' which of course I did know (being American and all!). She proceeded to tell me snippits of her life and it was nice to hear her revel in some memories. Some good, some not so good. She asked a little bit about me, my family, and was curious as to why I didnt have any children (she has none either).

After about an hour, I had to leave to get on my stuff, and she had to leave to make it back to the aged care facility for dinner. She asked me if I could spare a smoke (I know.. imagine that!) and I asked if she was allowed to smoke.. she said yes.. to which I responded, well, if you arent, you didnt get them from me Elizabeth.." She giggled, as if she was the 12 year old girl she was only reminiscing about earlier to me. I handed her a few smokes, said goodbye, and off we went, each to our own lives.

It was neat to share for a moment with someone, almost a stranger, and yet such a familiar face. To make someones day by chatting away, asking how they were.... I guess I didnt realize how much it would make my day as well.

Thirty. 30 . ten times 3

2011-05-11T11:57:00.000+10:00

A friend turned 30 yesterday. And, with all my years of experience ... I told her that the best advice I could give her was something along the lines of:

When your in your 20s people expect you to make mistakes. They forgive you. People believe that you are in the stages of your life that you are still learning from your lessons, and still able to have a bit of fun.

When your in your 30s... well, people expect you to stand up for the person that you have become. They will become to know the real you. Your morals, ideals, etc. And, if you want to be the person who is shy & stands below all and not speak your mind.. .this is the time to do it... you are setting in motion the rest of your life. However, if you are a person who wants to speak what they say, stand up for oneself & others, then you must, as people will come to expect you to react & act in a certain way from here on out... depending how you are in your 30s.

This is the time to shine. This is the time to make your life happen. To enjoy the roses along the way, to have the fun & good times (with more smarts than previously! HAHA) and to sculpt your life & world to your desires.

So, that was my advice to her. What advice would you give her?

My first blogger award!

2011-05-01T22:06:00.000+10:00

Thanks Food Mazaa for my award! Everytime I head to her page, I end up so hungry looking at the photos... and BEST YET, is the recipes are listed... so you can make it at home too!

Check it out: http://foodmazaa.blogspot.com/

Hurry up to wait

2011-05-01T21:48:00.000+10:00

I have made plans to head back home for a few short weeks in the MN summer. Im anxious, excited, ready to shop, dreading certian things, thrilled to catch up with some, cringing that I have to catch up with other, and hoping and praying that I can keep my tact enough in tact to not say anything stooopid to particular people.

The thrill of seeing some of my family & friends is overwhelming. To hold them and hug them again is going to be great. And to hear their stories, and chat like we just saw each other yesterday is the love of the familiar and comfy-ness that I so love. To kick back and actually spend time with them. To hear them laugh, cry, giggle, and just BE. To get ready to venture out for a night on the town, get all dalled up, and have a great time... just like the old days (without most of the shit).

Then sets in the achy-ness of knowing that there are going to be those moments with some people where I will have the urge to want to back hand them. I know its wrong, but sometimes I just cant handle the mundane and ignorant parts of it all. And, I SHOULD really be nice... and then I think.. honey, Im only here for a little over 2 weeks, do you really think I care that _______ happened, or that you have ____________ to your _________________? No. But thanks, glad I spent all that money & time & MY HOLIDAY to come here to listen to your shit forever, all while you ask me NOTHING about me. Yeah, good times people. Good freaking times.

But, its what you do. Right? You have certain people high on the list, certain people low on the list.

Theres also this part of me that just wants to play up a bit.... I mean Im back home, in my environment and yet such a stranger to everything that I once knew as normal. I can walk into my old life, play up, met with certain friends, and then walk away from it again - tuck it in a bag until my next trip home.... all my own little secrets for just me.

Then there is the shopping, the outlet stores, the cheap yet gorgeous clothes. Oh, how I love to go shopping there... and yet I hate doing it here.

So much fun & adventures to be had. And, yet, the time isnt here yet, and already I feel as if Im not going to be able to do everything I want, see everyone I want.. etc.

Maybe so much of this stems from the fact that there are just certain people who cant be pleased, and I know that Im going to disappoint them. I need to get over that.

Also, its the first time going back home as a Permanent Resident here. Which means, that Im legally, forever, entitled to come back HERE ..... which means that I dont nec have to look as THAT home as the 'what if' option anymore.

Ah who knows. Maybe Ive just had too much Vitamin C this evening. Yeah we will go with that.

Now there's an idea!

2011-04-19T09:20:00.000+10:00

Wow.. someone finally comes out and tells us how it is and should be! I love it! No more ignorance, no more stooooopidity, no more of this shit! Hooray! I absolutely LOVE this poster!

opps

2011-04-18T12:36:00.000+10:00

so i was supp to be here, and writing to all of you in blog world (all 5 of you that regularly read).. adn I just lost my blog enthusiasm~ maybe because suddenly a large amount of blogs that I normally read or wander thru have turned into some sort of babies thing... nothing against kids or little babies.. but to hear about someone lactating or oozing out creme like substance from their navel... its not for me. To top it off, I was saddened that somewhere along the line goes another one... you know.. cuz they have kids now, they will be hanging with the kids sections..... and the blogs will become kids only, and kid friendly, and other mothers will be on there, and kids photos will now be precedent... you get the idea.

Then ... you know when friends say "when I start dating, I will never be one of those friends who goes and abandons all their friends for a guy." Its happened. Again. And it makes me cringe that its happening. Nothing you can do.... just sit back and watch your friend be whisked away.. Im not jealous, serious. But when every waking moment is inundated with HIM... and the only time said friend is available is when HE is working or hanging with the boys or visiting his parents for the weekend... suddenly, your on the list of 'see-ables'. Shits me. And to be honest, Im contemplating the idea of ditching the friend all together. Ive had enough of this shit.

Actually, Ive had enough of most of the shit. Im tired of peoples crap.... Over It Honey. So there you go, thats why I havent written. Give me a few more days... I will be back in action... just waiting for life to play this game with me, rather than against me.

Hairy Toes

2011-04-08T11:26:00.000+10:00

As a female, I hate looking down at peoples feet and seeing hair on their toes... everyone.. but ESPECIALLY women. Its gross. Even if its blonde hair, you can see the hair bush blowing in the wind.. ewww. Ick. Nasty. Not acceptable people. Ever.

I shave my toes just to make sure Im not in that ewww Ick Nasty Not acceptable phase... in fact, if I had to pick just one of the next tasks before heading out in public with my feet showing (ex: wearing thongs/sandals) I woul rather have clean shaven toes before toe nail polish. Simply, no matter how pretty your toenails are painted, if you have the hairy toe monster showing, its gross ~ ewwww Ick Nasty Not acceptable!

Anyway, I woke up this morning in sheer panic. I had a dream that I had long toe hair. First thing I did this morning while having a coffee was to inspect my toes and make sure they were hair free.

Whew! Good to know it was only a nightmare and not a case of real life incidents~! Dont forget to shave people... no one likes to braid your toes.

The Weekend

2011-04-07T21:05:00.000+10:00

The weekend is slowly... SLOWLY approaching! And Im highly looking forward to it. Not much planned, actually nothing is in concrete. Im hoping its kind of the weekend where I can just do as I wish or not do as Im expected, more to the point.

I have a few possibilities of working... as in my new business which Im hoping will take off and be very profitable. But, like anything, I go gung-ho into it, and so want it to work.. the passion takes over.... and Im looking forward to a successful business, but it takes work, and hard work.. lots of effort. And after working all week, and then trying to things during the 'down time' in the evenings, and then bits here and there on the weekend... and it has to be done. Nothing successful was ever gained & retained by it just lumping itself in your lap.

My ideal plans for the weekend, might include going ice skating before they close up the rink and return it to its normal roller skate arena.. and I think I might rent the entire season 1 & 2 of Big Bang Theory and lock everyone out for the weekend. In between moping, laundry, etc....

Whats your plans for the weekend? Are you filled to the max with appointments, schedules, running here & there or are you going to rejuvenate a bit and chill out like me?

Oh my

2011-03-19T19:43:00.002+10:00

I dont eat broccoli. Just not my thing. And, now I know why... did you know it gives you gas? And not quiet little farts either...

Next time I pass on the broccoli on my pizza, along with the mushrooms too.

Ewww. Gross

2011-03-19T07:53:00.000+10:00

I live in an area where my neighbors & I are very close. Sometimes you can hear all sorts of things you would rather not. Then again, my neighborhood is also very quiet... after 7 pm you swear you were in a morgue arena... not a sound to be heard, except for the rare occasion.

BUT

There is something so foul & disgusting to me to hear my neighbor walk out of his house in the morning, into his courtyard (oh by the way, these are the neighbors that bang the doors, scream, .... and then have a go at anyone who makes a sneeze)... so he walks into his courtyard, and clips his toenails. Do you know how disgusting it is to have your morning coffee and listen to someone clip thier toenails? It makes me wonder, does he just leave them outside? If he takes them in, why would he not just clip his toenails inside?

Ick.

communication breakdown

2011-03-09T22:19:00.000+10:00

Ya'll know that song right? Communication Breakdown.... by Led Zepplin? Well, that seems to be my last few days...it somewhat seems, that no matter who it is, either Im not communicating properly, or Im misunderstanding... and lets just say, not a good situation when 'just getting to know someone new'.... so we ended up having a 'non argument' according to him... and I spent the rest of the conversation trying to not dig my hole any deeper. Then it just continued... at work, at home, with everyone....

fuck my head hurts.... and Im REALLY not sure if its me or everyone else? Seriously.

who wants to come for dinner?

2011-02-28T11:47:00.000+10:00

Im really wanting to BBQ... on my weber. Ive been craving the taste of bbq'd food on a weber lately.. and as soon as Im done with this recent task which is keeping me from bbq'n... it will be done. In fact, I can taste that charcoal taste on chicken with some green beans, corn & potatoes... damn... my mouth is watering~

It feels like Im running here, skipping there, and trying to sit my ass still for a moment isnt working. So.. this weekend hopefully looks to be calm... yeah right.

Doesnt it shit you when your friends do some really stupid shit... and all you can do is just shake your head?

Or, you know those moments at work when you give some business advice (being the only one with ANY experience or knowledge) and no one wants to listen.... doesnt that just erk ya? Oh well, its like slowly watchin an ant run into the ant killer on the cardboard tear off isnt it?

Well, apologies for being slack in my blog. I just dont have the oompf at the moment. And, Im not really in one spot either, so tis been a bit difficult. ..... but the beginning of the month is near, and new beginnings are always good.

2011-02-14T12:28:00.000+10:00

Happy Valentines Day. May your day, as every other day, be filled with love.

Winters Bone

2011-02-14T09:37:00.000+10:00

OMG.. what a fantastic movie. Previously having read the book, I was very excited to see what the movie would present itself as. I was amazed at how 'true to the book' it was.

Definitely, if you see one movie, this year, THIS IS THE ONE. Its gritty look at life, the realism of peoples faces, and the lack of Hollywood insprired plots & designs captivates every emotion in your body.

You can not help but fall into this movie.

Wouldnt you know it?

2011-02-08T17:34:00.001+10:00

My cat eats anything I eat. Even butter. Strange, I know. But, thats how all my cats have been... well not the butter part, but eating whatever I may eat. Back in the day, when Fudge-sicles were my favorite... my beloved Tabby use to like his own ... yep.. his OWN.

Now, Little Miss likes to eat Spam... you know that stuff that 50% of the world hate, but if your from MN, you eat it.. cuz you grew up with it.. and its such a versatile 'meat' product that when on a tight budget, you can make SO many meals to it... yep... Spam.

Well, I didnt realize I have to share it.. but I do.. with my precious Little Miss. Gotta love her. At least, her breath doesnt smell of tuna (at the moment anyway).

You frustrate Me

2011-01-31T09:40:00.000+10:00

I want to scream at you because your frustrating me to no end. You make all these excuses and then I am supp to deal with it. You have become a person for whom I can not pity... it just seems so hypocritical of all things you once used to say. You need to find something better to do with your time.

What would you think if I used all your excuses? What would you think if I told you all these things? Oh wait, I have.... and then you tell me your sorry.. .and then 3 weeks later.. your back to your same shit.

Fuck you. Fuck off.

I dont need it. I dont want it. And, its unfair.. .yes... UNFAIR what you are doing and how you are acting.

Fuck you . Fuck.... .OFF.

Fuel Gauge Running Low

2011-01-21T10:54:00.000+10:00

Wow.. seems like i am just running from here to there to everywhere lately. With the massive flood drama to having company for a solid month.. seems like life is just running me ragged. And, today, I am 100% exhausted. No rest ahead either. Not for at least another week.... this morning I actually woke up late for work... as in I woke up when I should have been driving out the complex... Damn. Damn. Damn.

Oh, what's a girl to do..... looking very forward to having a few days of quiet 'me' time ... with the Cat. My poor Little Miss just looks at me and thinks.. 'who the hell are you" yesterday I saw here for a total of 35 minutes and that includes the time I came home from work, switched clothes and headed out the door again.... and then back in... to go to bed. Im so looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Hooray. Its saturday tomorrow... oh what a lovely ring that has to it.

Quickie

2011-01-13T08:28:00.000+10:00

Have you missed me? I certainly have missed you. But, this one post will be rather quick. Have you heard of the floods in Australia? Well, thats been my life the last week. Luckily, my area is not as affected as others... we had road closures, possibility of being evacuated, etc... but there are other areas to the north & south of me which have been greatly damaged.. lives lost, homes vanished... terrible.

So, I have been preoccupied with life really. Thats my excuse. I have been glued to the TV seeing what updates we are getting, as well as cleaning drains, pushing back water, attending to a leaky ceiling, and gathering up a box of supplies to be sent north to those affected by the floods.

And, in these times, I am reminded of ignorance of others. People on FB are posting that the government isnt doing enough... they are whinging that Australia gave $ to Country X, Country Y.. etc.. and where is our help. HELLO IDIOT... you cant just come up with a dollar figure 4 days into the floods and expect everyone to give. You need to follow a procedure, a protocol... and action plan. And, if you had ANY ounce of sense you would realize that providing helicopters to fly people off their roofs, drop off food to stranded people, etc costs money.. as well as getting in necessary people to establish shelters and emergency points. But no, you dont think like that... do you. I would rather that pencil pusher for the govt be busy finding ways to get emergency assistance here NOW and then push numbers a bit later... and thats what they are doing. I have no time for those that expect a hand out from me & you.... while they sit on their ass... chances are these people arent helping any one in need at the moment... except for themselves... and thats fine.. hopefully Darwinism kicks in at some point.

I think the govt and the people are doing a wonderful task.. people are helping wherever they can (except for the ignoramus' of the world). If you want more info on the floods... check out these sites:

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/
http://www.couriermail.com.au/
http://www.gympietimes.com.au/
http://www.theage.com.au/

google any of these keywords: Ipswich, Toowoomba, Gladstone, Brisbane river, Sunshine Coast... and add the word flooding to it.

Please keep everyone in your thoughts... there are so many lives affected at the moment....

Deleted post

2011-01-04T08:12:00.000+10:00

quickie. i have had to delete a post... somehow a post about my internet dating keeps getting all sorts of attention from a few odd places... especially the escort services.... ewwwww.

so delete. delete. delete.

back soon... i have a friend from the states visiting.. no time for the computer!

Joe Cocker "Lets go get stoned"

2010-12-28T23:47:00.000+10:00

Cuz its been raining for days... thinking of woodstock.. and all the times of life ..

For you

2010-12-24T16:48:00.000+10:00

Im in a bit of a struggle at the moment. I have some really deep feelings that have surfaced again, regarding someone special in my life. When I lived in the states, times & circumstances didnt allow us to be together, but my heart always held him so dear. He makes me smile, he makes me feel safe, he makes me feel as if nothing in the world exists but him & I. And, as time does.. life goes on. And you drift apart. Thats how things go.

Catch up to years later... and here we are again... back in touch. Except Im here.. he is there. Worlds apart. Lives are different now.. he has kids and a girlfriend ... I dont want to mess things up with any of that, regardless how shitty the relationship he & she have.. they still have kids together. And, for that reason alone, its damn good thing I live in another country. If I lived there, I know that I would struggle with not having him in my life. And, I know that she probably would not like us being friends. And yeah, friends it would be. Im not about to ever break anyone up.. or a family... thats not me. But, some women have this idea that their man cant be friends with someone from thier past. So, it woudl be so difficult to have the friendship we do have if I lived there. And, with some contentment, its nice that Im way over here, able to be friends, with no threat to her, and still have him in my life. In my circle of loved people.

He was such an important person to me so long ago. We have a history together. Its deep. We both helped each other thru some pretty tough times, and both knew how to make each othe smile. There were things that I shared with him, that no one else knew. I thought I would always have to carry the burden of that shit by myself.. but he allowed me to share things, without placing judgement, without gossiping, without making me feel that I had done bad. Instead, he comforted me, he gave advice, he listened, he was there.. and that was more than anyone else in my life was.. he was there for me. And is today.

I love you my friend.

He wants me to build a time machine. I laughed when he said that. Now.. its all I think about - how cool it would be to have him near me.

I cherish each moment we have had together in this world. Thank you for being you.

The Minnesota Song

2010-12-24T10:21:00.000+10:00

For all my Minnesota friends & family.. your with my in spirit on this hot & humid Australia Christmas season! Love to everyone... Merry Christmas.

so slack

2010-12-22T06:47:00.000+10:00

so its been forever and a day since i last did a post. sorry. where do I begin? My modem was acting up, my phone kept dying, I have been crazily trying to get all my work done so that we could go on holidays (we close up for a few weeks due to the weather & holidays here in Oz), and just in general have been really busy.

New curtains hung in my room~ they go over the blinds, and really help keep that sun from peeking into my room at 5 am, so Im able to sleep in until 6 on my days off! Yippee. Extra bonus? They have a backing on them to help with keeping the room cooler, so Im not letting all that cool air escape when the A/C is on... nice hey?

Its been hot as anything here. Humidity is crazy. Somedays you get out of the shower and think, Im sure I just showered, but you feel all sticky and drip with sweat. Not a nice look... but the prize is that you know your not the only one feeling that way.

We seem to have company coming from here there and everywhere for the next few weeks. Or months. Depending on how you look at it. Its great, its crazy, its fun. And, trying to make sure all your bits are done before they arrive... well, I will let you know how that one goes when I discover what its actually like to have my list done. Rearranging the house to make an actual extra bedroom rather than the place where the cat sleeps and calls her own. Moving her futon & fav chair out of the room did NOT earn me any bonus points with the cat. For the first time in 2 weeks, she finally decided to sleep in the OTHER room (where the futon is temp placed) and lay in her usual dipped/ body shaped location on the futon - she just couldnt resist it anymore. But, Im still dealing with glares and noisy frustrations from her. Seriously....

My house looks as if I have 30 projects all needing to be done at once. Its not really visible to anyone else.. but I know its needing to be done. My handmade stocking for my friend... seriously need to tackle that today.. and laundry.. but how does one do that - its been pissing down rain. Oh wait, the dryer... I use to use my dryer ALL the time in the states.. I barely use it here in Oz, love to hang my stuff to catch the sunshine and dry. But, we have had bouts of rain off and on (more on than off actually) that Im thinking of investing in a rubber ducky to get around town in. Ya know, one of those GIANT ones... how cool would I look in that paddling down the footpath into town?

So, apologies (again) for the lack of posts. But, I need to tackle a few things on my list of to do's so I best get cracking at it this morning. I will keep you posted on life.

tender years

2010-12-09T22:24:00.000+10:00

I loved this movie all those years ago. Here's a little secret tho... this song makes me cry EVERY time I hear it.... a bit of a softie... and I know EVERY word to the song. Enjoy.

Rain Rain Rain

2010-12-05T17:10:00.001+10:00

Its been raining since the middle of November. Shit you not. I returned from holidays, and my holiday tan is quickly fading. I know… you feel sorry for me too. Its been raining so much the last few days, that my waterfall is beaming… you can hear the gushing of the water from my driveway…

Thanksgiving 2010 Oz Style

2010-12-05T09:24:00.001+10:00

Umpf

2010-12-03T09:07:00.000+10:00

I have a fear of bugs. Insects. Crawly Things. Hate em.

So, this morning ate work I open the bathroom door, and with the usual caution I do a quick scan of the room. I have this fear of a snake being in there on day.. and theres no where to run... my fear isnt that far-fetched. We have had snakes in the factory, and one in the office. Which is ONE too many for my liking.

So, after a quick scan of the room, all seems fine... Im busting to pee... and then I notice a GIANT BLOODY COCKROACH on the wall right across from the toilet. And, from previous experience, peeing in this bathroom with a cockroach is not a good thing. I panic, I freak, and make a bunch of noise trying to finish my business without a mess, and in a quick pain like fashion get my pants back up and all that stuff...all while the cockroach is making its way straight towards me.

The result of today??? Im not peeing at work. Only 5 more hours to go with a full bladder. Umpf. Oh, and I should mention that I would take a photo of the damn thing, but my camera isnt with me today. But, its almost as big as my hand... not palm.. not finger... HAND.

Fuck that if Im peeing in there today. And come Monday, Im going to look good and hard to see if its still there then.

Thanksgiving Celebrations

2010-11-27T08:43:00.000+10:00

Time to get busy.. people will be on their way soon.. and no one likes a late lunch! Still things to do, prepare, cook, details... and the rewards are so great! Lunch with our extended family - brings so much joy, and reminds us of just how lucky we are.

Better Today...??

2010-11-23T10:52:00.001+10:00

I crawled into bed last night, and looked at my moon filled room.. it was so bright and peeked thru the slats of my blinds... Im a Cancerian.. ruled by the moon... it made perfect sense why I was so emotional.

I lifted the blinds all the way up and fell asleep to to the moon glistening into my room - healing my emotions!

Kenny Rogers - Lady

2010-11-22T21:22:00.000+10:00

My friend, remember our conversation the other night about The Commodores.. and our secrets... well, here is the 'white mans' singing of it.... Just for your hears. How can you not fall in love with his voice?

Moody. Emotional. WTF?

2010-11-22T21:20:00.001+10:00

Im not sure whats come over me. Im tired, I know this. I cant stop shedding tears. I feel as if Im mourning for someone... I dont know who.. but my heart hurts. Aches. Its that lonely, unkept, sad, and empty feeling. That feeling you get when someone passes in your life.

And, as far as I know.. no one has. But I feel as if they have.

Im a mess. Tomorrow will be better.

Kenny Rogers - Buy Me A Rose (Music Video)

2010-11-22T21:20:00.000+10:00

For my friend, to help educate on KENNY ROGERS! hope your feeling better.

Some Holiday Photos

2010-11-17T20:14:00.001+10:00

Good times with friends

Life is rough

A drink with a bit more than 1 shot… made my teeth tingle

Traditional Balinese Dinner.. especially made for us

Seriously, how beautiful is this?

Loved watching the mama bird feed her baby everyday

Yeah, good times, great memories..

More to come

My Holiday Part 1

2010-11-07T20:13:00.000+10:00

The keyboard Im using is as stiff as I was before my massage yesterday. Jealous? good. then I will let you know I have another one scheduled tomorrow morning!!

Sitting at my table, I can smell teh incense and offerings of the mornings. Slowly, teh sounds of motorbikes becomes more constant. The new baby bird is being fed by its mother at the tree near the table. The staff keep a close eye on the new guest daily, they feed the mother banana every night, and during the day, she flies around collecting rice for her baby. I am in awe at teh magic of all this. There is another 4 birds gathering and making a nest by my hotel room, loving each moment unfold before me.

The staff arrive one by one at our presence at teh hotel. They are happy to see us, and we are thrilled to see them. To hear about thier families, their life... all of it. It is like seeing family again. Sincere hugs & smiles are exchanged. Again the smell of the surroundings is noticed... it is a smell of contentment adn love, of happiness & warmth. It is then that I feel so wonderful about where I am and how I feel at home here. And how full of love Bali is. It is now, at this moment, that I remind myself of how much I love Indonesia & all which encompass this place.

However, all teh love in the world couldnt have prepared me for my trip here. I was to arrive on Thursday evening. Did I? No. Thanks Jetstar..... Friday evening. Oh the frustration and new people you meet on the way. But, I will write about this at a later date. I need to wait for the other computer next to me to have the better keyboard... this one is like jabbing the keys. But, here is a snapshot... hurry up to wait. get stamped to depart country, buy duty free. Sounds great? Yeah, until I have to get stamped back in and return my duty free, cuz Im spending the night in Darwin. Hooray. And, I have to fight like hell to get any info. Why? Well, part of it was taht they grounded teh entire fleet of planes I was traveling on.... due to engine problems on another flight. Im all for having my life and love taht tehy considered my safety... but it woud have been nice if teh staff at the airline knew what the hell they were doing. ... anyway... I then meet with teh Australian version of The Amazing Race... I was pleased tehy were not American, for their rudeness was amazing.. I was embarrassed enough, much less if they were teh same nationality. Upside? I MAY be on tv, but may not.. due to some harsh probably edited language which I let fly at a few contestants. We will see. And race? No, my grandma could do that crap. . And next time I travel, Im going on that show... tehy have their luggage carried for them, they have food brought to them.. life certainbly was no rush for these guys. Oh, and no, we arent exactly friends after my LONG stint with them. And I dont think their tour guide in Bali (one for each couple) looked very impressed either. Ah... interesting times.

Anyway, more on taht another time. Life here in Bali is good. Its nice to be back home... and hear "Michele, when you arrive? and of course, during the massage.. "Michele... are you com...fort..a .. bull?"

Ah, life is good.Tonight mom is having coining due (aka Krokan) for her nasty cough.. and snoring... goodness.. I thought I was working at teh sawmill the last 2 nights. Shit. And tomorrow I am having it done, for general wellbeing. I always get Krokan done when I come here.. good medicine.

Well, time to chat with the local adn another gorgeous night of adventure in Bali. Come back soon for Part 2.

Miss all of you.

7 minutes

2010-10-29T21:11:00.000+10:00

Has there been a research study on 7 minutes? I wondered today why my snooze button, and so many other snooze buttons out there are set for 7 minutes. Do I 'rest' in 7 minutes? Is this an applicable time for my body to feel its cheated a few more minutes? What does 7 minutes have that 5 or 10 doesnt? Has a study been done on different sleep patterns at different intervals? Was it someone's favorite number?

Why 7?

Its crazy.... but Im curious... whats the importance of 7?

Anyone?

Anyone?

I mean, I hit the snooze countless time... so apparently 7 minutes ISNT adequate for me. And so why does the manufacturer of my alarm clock think 7 minutes is adequate? I want to know - who in the big corporate land of my alarm clock maker decided that 7 minutes was the magic number?

Can you imagine being that person...

Person 1 "Hi"

Person 2 "Hi"

Person 1 "What do you do?"

Person 2 "I make suits of armor fit for Kings & Queens, what do you do?"

Person 1 "I made the choice that each person who buys this product will only get 7 minutes of snooze time"

Seriously... Who IS that person. I have so many questions to ask.

Blessing my lucky stars

2010-10-27T20:35:00.000+10:00

I watched a doco tonight on a program I had recorded weeks ago. I wont get into details here, but I was amazed at statistics, pictures, and outcomes. The doco touched me deeply, as it was something to which I have personal experience with. Each day can be a struggle... not always, but certain smells or images can set me into a trance and could very easily put me back to all those years before.

All those years of fun, freedom, carefree living. Oh, and the paranoia, the learning of who your 'friends' really are, the realization of the capabilites within you.. good & bad.

I am so pleased that I can sit here today, type away to strangers & people who have become my world (and who probably know more about me than most of my family) and those who like to listen to my secrets & stories of my world. Im feeling extremely lucky that I have survived all of the past, relatively unscathed in comparision to what could have been. And, feeling so gracious that I am who I am because of that journey.... yet, so cautious because of what I did to get there... or here.

Today I feel lucky because of where I have been, what I have done, who I have met, and why I did those things.... all to be here today, in this moment, with this experience of life.

Seriously?

2010-10-25T14:20:00.000+10:00

I have reconnected with a friend from years ago. I wont go into details here, cuz some things are private. And some are not. But she seems to be a fricken mental case. And, she is either a compulsive liar or complete idiot.
Im not sure which one. Or, the other option is she thinks I AM THE idiot... and that I wont catch on to her different stories.

Strange one, that girl.

Dont get me wrong, I enjoy SOME of our conversations, but sometimes and this sounds really really awful.. but I can understand why your partner has beat the piss out of you... have you heard yourself lately? You can be dumber than Bubba.

I feel so bad. I should be nicer to here, afterall, I dont have to see her, shes living WAY over there... and Im WAY over here...

But fuck, she can really be stoooopid sometimes.

Ice Skating in Summer.. in Australia? Yep. Fo Sure

2010-10-24T08:28:00.000+10:00

We have been ice skating for the last few weeks... loving it! It was akward getting on the ice (a converted roller rink normally) at first. I have never been in an indoor rink to ice skate.. its always been outside. Growing up in MN we always had a hockey rink or flooded the parks, or skated on frozen lakes. The plus side to this indoor rink is that while its hot as anything outside in an Australian summer, its beautifully chilly inside.... but I need to learn to adapt to the smaller size of the rink. In time....

My knees are doing better than expected... I wasnt sure if they were going to snap after the first round of skating. I certainly didnt want to start all over in my treatments and be out for the count and legless just to go ice skating. But, they are doing well. I am seeing my restrictions tho.... my turning isnt what I could do years ago, and my confidence isnt powerful, and my speed is much slower than what I am use to. And tricks??? no tricks yet. Im just happy I can be on the skating floor, and dont want to push it right away with my shotty knees!

Photos will come a bit later... blogger is not playing nice in uploading photos....

Stay Tuned

2010-10-23T08:03:00.000+10:00

Yes.. I am still alive, just swamped by life. I PROMISE to come back tonight and tell you all the happenings... ok, most anyway, ALL of the happenings would be just boring.

So, come back and have a look... tonight.

Thems the breaks

2010-10-14T14:52:00.002+10:00

So, I am in a slight vindictive mood today. Too bad for everyone. Right?

Oh, and I only paid the registration on one of the work vehicles for 6 months... I figured I could not be sure that the company would still be around in 12 months, so there was no use paying the extra funds out for it. Sadly, the owners are content in the ignorant bliss.

Look Carefully….

2010-10-08T12:32:00.001+10:00

Do you see it?

Anything funny with this photo?

Well, I can tell you that upon arrival to his work this afternoon, the driver of this semi was greeted by his boss, who walked over to him with his hands on his head.

See.. if you havent already spotted it.. the semi’s trailer has hit a bridge or something…

Not a good way to end the work week.

Opps.

Monopoly.. no monopoly?

2010-10-07T12:58:00.001+10:00

i learned today that one of my friends has never played monopoly.

I made a comment about “do not pass go, do not collect $200'” and he had no clue what I was talking about.

He grew up in the same area as I did. Came from a similar economic background, ethnicity.. etc… you get where Im going with it.

He tells me he has NEVER played Monopoly.

The things you find out.

Eww

2010-10-07T11:52:00.001+10:00

Dear new person at work,

Although its great that you changed your desk around in your office, which Im sure is so that you can better bask in my beauty, I do have a complaint.

When you blow your nose, could you at least give it a proper blow? This pansy crap of you trying to be quiet isnt working. Its not quiet. We can still hear you. And, do you know whats worse? Well, the fact that your nose blowing takes longer cuz your trying to not blow as hard, but instead, we can more vividly hear your nose bubbles gathering around in your nostril.

Its gross.

Give it a good blow and be done. Be a man. Hell, a 3 year can give a better nose blow, assisted.

Sincerely,

Co-Worker

TIME TO LEND A HELPING HAND FOLKS

2010-10-05T13:53:00.000+10:00

http://www.expatdailynews.com/2010/10/australian-expatriate-missing-in-canada.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ExpatDailyNews+%28Expat+Daily+News%29

Copy & Paste into your browser page if the link doesnt work for you. I beg you.

SUPER IMPORTANT.. please pass this new on to as many people as you can. Let us enlist any media source we can to find this person.

Your help is greatly appreciated by his family & friends.

Happy 10 years

2010-09-23T19:51:00.001+10:00

Today would have seen me celebrating my 10 year anniversary IF I had gotten hitched all those years ago. Its a day I guess I always remember - spent a lot of time preparing for the big day and planning to spend my life with someone. That obviously didnt happen the way it was scheduled.

I do find some rather odd humor in the photo all this years later… Who would have thought that visiting The Great Divide would turn out to be the perfect headline later on!

(I should not be laughing, but I cant help it.. sorry)

I dont have any regrets over not attending my own damn wedding. Honestly. I think about how my life could be different had I gone thru with the wedding, but Im not sure it would be something that I would have liked.

You can never know what you missed out on.

But, I do know that I have had a great experience and journey over the last 10 years, much that would not have been able to be done had I been married. I guess I have enjoyed the last 10 years, and I have really gotten to know me – Who I Am – What I Stand For – What I Desire -

I cant imagine now being married at such a young age. There was so much to learn in my later 20’s that I couldnt have learned about myself had I been married. How could I have learned those things? Impossible. When you share your life with someone, you take on their stuff, their responsibilities..and the 2 of you learn to become a couple. The reality was that I was still learning what it was that was ME.

I have always wished my ex well in life. And he has moved on as well. He now has a new bride, some kids, and settled into his life I guess. My path has been very different. Still single, no kids, and not settling for just anyone.

So, congrats to me.. on 10 years of a very smart decision. I am very proud that I had the courage that day to end that stage of my journey. To hand back the ring and all it stood for – so that I could stand for what I have become.

To hell with it

2010-09-20T13:41:00.001+10:00

Dating sucks. To hell with the morals. To hell with the ethics. To hell with doing what is right. Im just gonna go out and get laid. This relationship stuff isnt fuckin worth it.

Serious.

Opps.. I think Im drooling on myself

2010-09-14T14:20:00.000+10:00

OH MY GOODNESS... Limited Edition? Damn it, it probably means its not coming to Australia... but Pop Tarts... LOVE EM.... Pumpkin Pie? LOVE EM... together.. OH MY!~!!!!!

Wonder if there is anyone back in the US I could scam to send some this way? Or, maybe one of those bloggers who USE to live in OZ and is now back in the US would be up for a trade?????? See, I could trade you some cheesy vegemite or weetbix or something?

Ok, now I just sound desperate. But, in all seriousness... has anyone tried these?

Back Soon

2010-09-10T21:14:00.000+10:00

We will resume our normal scheduled programming shortly.

I dont know.. been busy.. tired, anxious, exhausted, frustrated, joyous, insane, and a bit lazy.

Go figure.

I have also had some personal issues with family, and as much as I have wanted to write about it here, I just cant... my luck it would be the ONE fucking time they decide to see what Im up to. And then WWIII would start, and really, I dont have the desire or the energy to deal with it anymore. Basically, I have handled it my own way, and Im relatively (get the pun) okay with that. I prefer to deal with things head on and let people know what my issue is with them, as I would prefer they deal with me in that way as well. But, sometimes, in order to keep the peace or just let the situation die.. its better to deal with it as you choose. And really, they are so self-involved anyway, I doubt they would one bit understand or try to see my side of the situation. So tough shit. Be done with it, right? Then why do I still have this built up anger about it? Just need to find a different avenue to let it go!

My knees are acting up again, the change in weather isnt really helping. Neither was my over-indulgence in that damn dinosaur ellipitical thing. That certainly didnt help. I felt all guilty, and was feeling my chubby bits one day and decided that yeah, go for it, get back on it and do it. Bad choice.. the next day my knees let me know that they were not strong enough for that sort of torture. I guess I should have listened to my Italian Stallion aka physio. Got it now. Lesson Learned. Loud & Clear.

Top it off, i hate that my annoying neighbors have renewed their lease. I mean, I really hate it. They hate living here, and Im not sure why they choose to live here ANOTHER year. Damn stupid people. I will have to look at ways to 'assist' in the current surroundings there.... maybe some louder music to counteract her constant door slamming? As one of them are music teachers, they really REALLY seem to hate it when I play music... doesnt matter what it is - Jack Johnson, Eagles, Pantera, Meditation... you name it, she goes into instant crazy bitch. In fact, she does that a lot. No matter what. So, I guess shes just a crazy bitch. I will have to find fun little ways to torment them. Last year, as they were just married and supp to be in some wedded bliss state, they seemed to fight constantly. And thats all i could here. The reasoning of SHUT YOUR DAMN WINDOW when screaming at each other and throwing tantys... they just couldnt see the sense in it.. so they let eveyone know they were miserable. I admit it... it was me who flooded their mailbox with divorce info as well as random business cards of counsellors. Counsellors leave their business cards EVERYWHERE in ANY business.. so they were easy to come by.. I might have to try some sort of technique like that again soon.

What else? Im doing alright, just not wanting to indulge in other peoples shit. And yet its there. Oh well. Thats life.

Relationship? Well, the 'newer' guy is back from his 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off job thing. Im sure we will catch up while hes home.. we have plans to.. but typical man style.. he will call me when he arrives back here (tomorrow I think?) and then we will sort the details out. Apparently, its a woman thing to PLAN.. or I just seem to get really busy.. so I NEED to plan.. and yeah, I am a control freak.. so lets not venture that path tonight. I am in contact with someone else as well. Thats just in the email stages of things. He has a kid.. 1 years old... so I need to get some more info on whether or not he really is single or if he is in the 'separated' stage with the kids mom. Makes a big difference to me. But so far, he seems nice. Oh, and 54 yr old man wanted to 'know more about me' (its one of the options on the dating website). 54 ... so I wonder if while Im busy at work all day would he be home cooking and cleaning and such? and of course, 2 more Indians showed interest.... I double checked that my profile doesnt state.. LOOKING FOR OLDER MEN.. or INDIANS ONLY APPLY.. .. and it seem pretty normal and straight forward..but somehow I must be on the hot list for these particular groups. Funny stuff.

Hey, what do you know? We resumed back to normal programming!

Dixie Chicks ~ "Ready to Run" (Better Quality)

2010-09-05T22:07:00.000+10:00

So the 'anniversary' of what WOULD have been my wedding anniversary is coming upon us! Yep, once upon a time, I was thinking I would be one of those happily married people, with a white picket fence, and some kids, and a career, and all that warm fuzzy stuff.

And then, I came to my senses. And I listened to this song A LOT. And I ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And never looked back.

Thank you to 'you who know who' as my life certainly would not be as kick ass as it would have been had I not ran my ass off, away...

Guns N' Roses - November Rain

2010-09-05T21:34:00.000+10:00

Always ALWAYS Double Check!

2010-08-30T13:04:00.000+10:00

A local restaurant in my town has just opened its doors. Its very very new. And, I'm not quite sure how well it will do for business. They are hiring for a new chef.... here is a snippet of their advertisement:

(please note that they are a Japanese / Australian Cuisine restaurant)

To be successful for this role you must have;

A minimum of 2 - 3 years experience at Sous Chef level

Creative flair and a passion for food.

Excellent communication skill (necessary to peak Japanese or Korean)

Relevant trade qualifications.

Proven experience in Japanese cuisine (sushi and hot food), desert as well

Ability to excel under pressure

Did you pick up on any mistakes?

Here is what I found:

communication skills are required so that you may PEAK Japanese or Korean... yeah, I never thought to write something like that on my resume... stooopid ol me.. I can SPEAK another language.. but damn it if i didnt pass PEAK. Im sorry, but thats too funny of any error in the communication skills required.

And, did you catch that another requirement for this position is that you must have proven experience in "a region so arid because of little rainfall that it supports only sparse and widely spaced vegetation or no vegetation at all"... I mean that is the desert afterall.. so if you have great wildlife skills and can survive on nothing at all.. please apply!

Oh, I think Im about to pee my pants with laughter.

If you dont believe this is a real add.. check out this link: http://www.seek.com.au/job/chef/sunshine-coast/18005753/34/1/

Dating duh’s

2010-08-27T09:43:00.001+10:00

So Guysmiley (not his real name) sends me a kiss on the internet dating deal… he has included the message that he thought he would be brave and say hello.

Guysmiley appears to be nice enough on his profile. No attraction, but could be nice to have a chat with. Maybe. Just not that into him. And thats okay. Theres heaps on the damn site that Im not ‘in to’ and I shouldnt feel bad about that. Right?

What does give me some weird feelings is this: Guysmiley is 47.. yep thats right 4-7 or FORTY SEVEN or FOUR times TEN and add SEVEN.

Im only 35. Now, you may not think thats a huge add difference of 12 years, people date someone who is 12 years older or younger. But wait… theres more.

HIS KID IS 27 years old. Which means Im closer to his kids age than his age. Ewwww. Ick. And one of my good friends is only 2 years older than his kid. EEEEWWWWW. ick….. too much for me!

And while i would probably get on with his kid.. im not sure that at my age I really want a man who has a sex drive of a grape. Not that I know from experience, but from all the data… I certainly dont want to know either. Not yet anyway.

So, I politely declined his advances. Good luck Guysmiley. Word of Advice: Go for someone SOMEWHAT near your age….. please.

Little Chatterbox ?

2010-08-20T12:14:00.000+10:00

I checked my emails just before, and was told that I had received a notification from that internet dating site that someone has contacted me. So, I venture to see who the latest man is... wondering if hes ANYWHERE near my age group (I seem to have the random 50+ guys who want to 'see if Im interested'... seriously, even 1 man at that age for me creeps me out).

And.. the guy is not near me, outside of my distance that Im willing to go, and Im not really all that interested in his profile anyway. Starters? Starters is this: dont send me a bloody 'like to get to know you' shit and then not include your password to your photo. IF by some chance you sent the notification before realizing you included a password, send it again.. immediately. Why? Well, cuz otherwise you just come across as a creepy guy who just wants to perve on us woman. A Faceless Perve.

Anyway, back to situation at hand: this guy selects that his occupation is sales & MARKETING... yippee... love marketing.. and if your in marketing.. you can sell YOURSELF better than anything.

So this is what his profile reads:

I am not rich not smart not even best looking
However I am loyal, reliable and available.

Thats IT! Seriously.. thats all he has written.. and there is a maximum limit of something like 1500 words.. and he has 2 sentences.. ?????

So, as far as I can gather, hes not into Sales or Marketing... and a loser. Okay, well, not for me. And I can find all those men on my own... without help, thanks.

One of those thangs

2010-08-17T10:07:00.001+10:00

I was to have a written exam tonight for a possible job which I was shortlisted for. I had my option of either last night or tonight, and due to other commitments, I decided tonight would be better. So, I send off the email with the times I am available tonight for this exam. And wait.

I have just checked my emails and have received an email from the prospective company. They have decided to change the position and have the person live in the capital city nearest me. Which is, about 2 hours away. Doesnt sound bad you say? Well, aside from not WANTING to move, and all the expenses which can be incurred in a move, it just wasnt viable for me to consider I guess.

Damn it. Oh well. It was nice to know that I got shortlisted for the company anyway.

2010-08-16T21:22:00.000+10:00

At the moment my cousin is in Germany doing his hockey thing, playing against some elite hockey players of Austria & Germany... what an amazing experience for him, and to be honest, I am such a proud cousin right now. I feel as (what I would imagine anyway) when you child reaches the monumentus occasion of all the things - that proud and elated feeling of wonderment for him! Love ya cuz.. kick some ass!

Things are well, for the most part. They should be anyway. So why then do I feel so melancholy tonight?

I have been shortlisted for a job I applied for. Lets hope its more money. But if its not more money, would I still take it? Could it be less stressful? And, if it is, would it be worth less money to actually enjoy a job and have less stress in my life? Can I afford less money? What if its more money?????

I have finally met the guy who I have been chatting to for a month. Everything there seems to be very good. He seems to have decent outlook on life, seems to hold a converation well, and can speak about educated topics as well. Plus side? Hes gorgeous. He has amazing eyes. Although its a bit freakish to admit, but I could just get lost in his eyes. There seems to be a connection there, but only time will really tell I guess.

My home... I keep trying to dip into those projects.. you know.. the box that needs to be sorted, the junk drawer that somehow keeps getting filled with junk AGAIN, designing some sort of better work space for my computer area.. blah blah blah.. then I still have all the other shit.. floors, laundry, dishes.. how the heck can 1 person make this place so untidy sometimes? Sometimes I can almost convince myself that the cat is busy creating the chaos when Im working. Work. ugh. oh, sorry... I had everything all fantastic the other day.. it all looked wonderful, then I realize that after I did MORE stuff.. it wasnt as kept & tidy as just a few hours before. The lesson here, is only do a bit.. I dont need to conquer the entire list for the day. Right?

Its cold outside. Yet, last night it was lovely. Tonight, its a bit chilly. My knees are starting to need another treatment again. This cold weather isnt helping. Damnit, Im from Minnesota... I can and SHOULD be able to hand THIS cold weather. Am I feeling some sort of loss there? Like I have lost some of my Minn-e-soo-tah ways? Surely that cant right, can it? How can I lose what is me? Or can I?

I dont know, I feel as if Im babbling. And Im not making sense. Life is good. It really is.

Nothing Compares 2 U

2010-08-10T14:00:00.000+10:00

Do you remember the song 'Nothing Compares 2 U' ? It was written by Prince (or well, he use to call himself Prince at THAT time.. but Sinead O'Connor sang it. I use to belt my lungs out to it, thinking of one boy in particular. Obviously, that didnt work out for me.. did it?

Anyway, there was all this talk that Ms. O'Connor was a lesbian. Than she wasnt, then she was.. you get the jizz of it.. yeah? Well, apparently.... shes not (anymore) cuz Nothing Compares 2 U... as above... Yikes, shes really changed! Totally different from that skinny shaved headed girl seen here:

I never, I mean NEVER in my life would have imagined the picture of "nothing compares 2 U"... to be with him. Just didnt think it. But then again, Love Comes In All Forms.

2010-07-31T20:45:00.001+10:00

Okay, Im 35 now. And so far things have gone pretty damn good. And while walking thru the carpark to insanely dirty car, I realized these reasons must be why:

Since the monday of my birthday week and up to today, I have:

ticked the birth control for another 3 months of safety.. I mean as if NOT getting laid wasn’t safety enough, my mother told me you can NEVER be too safe
visited the Italian Stallion, aka Physio Man for another session
tackled the Needle Nut, aka Acupuncture Guru for another session
endured a good belly laugh & back adjustment with the Chiro
did the yearly (ok, it was a bit longer than that) eye exam
purchased some green drink stuff'; Im not a veggie girl so I know Im not getting my greens
bought some Apple Juice to help the green drink stuff go down

The way I figure is this: the eyes, neck, back, knees & snatch are all taken care of. Seriously, can I get anymore well-adjusted going in to being 35! I must say, I am almost impressed with myself.

So out of touch

2010-07-28T19:30:00.001+10:00

I sometimes forget how much I have secluded myself from others. It hasnt been a bad thing, and certainly isnt in an unhealthy way. But, I have secluded myself from people who have a high drama content. I also know that I pull back from people when they have too much created chaos in their lives. Dont get me wrong, when my friends or family are in need, Im probably the first one on the doorstep waiting to be there and help. However, when a person in my life starts dribbling about problem A, problem B, problem C…and so on.. and then you start to piece that A+B+C= their own doing from decisions or actions (or lack of actions).. you start to lose some sympathy points.

For many MANY years now, I have tried to eliminate a good chunk of drama out of my life. The created chaos drama. Its not good, healthy or productive.

GIVE WAY!

Every now and then, some drama creeps in.. thats just life. Yet, some days I open my ears and all I hear around me is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.

Fuck people, you cant be mad at me if you dont change shit in your life and I have no sympathy for the 100th time that you have told me your ‘issue’. The reality is your ‘issue’ is the result of your own actions. You LOVE the drama in your life. I however, have had my fill from years past, and can not do it anymore.

So.. drama & you can fuck off and take a vacation from me. I cant hear anymore of it. If you cant figure out why your life sucks… how about taking a really good look at it and trying to sort it, for once. Yeah, that would be helpful.

Ewwwww…..

2010-07-27T10:53:00.001+10:00

Im doing the internet dating thing, y’all know that. But, I have had it, I have reached my limit…. today, some guy who is 47 sends me a kiss and wants to get to know me. Remember, Im only 35… and hes 47… now, at first that may not sound like a huge difference.. but his eldest daughter is 27…. WTF?

Yuck. Yuck. Triple Yuck.

And, this isnt the first time that old creepy men have contacted me. I have had them up to 54 years old, be interested.

Now, its great that you think so highly of yourself. Or that your young enough at heart that a 35 year old would be interested. Or that you could “provide” for me. Or whatever… your beer belly balding ass who scratches himself regularly and all that jazz.. whatever your reasons are… please remember that although you think your hot stuff, and you think I should be oh so honored to date you… please think of my mother.. who is only 55 damn years old…. do you think thats still okay? The fact that your age is closer to my moms than to mine? I dont. I think that just screams EWWWWWWW icky creepy old nasty spoiled milk smelling man. ICK.

Thanks for the kiss.. but so not flattered.

Odd feeling

2010-07-26T18:16:00.000+10:00

I found out today that one of my ex boyfriends has 4 kids.. to 3 different mamas. I dont really care, but holy begeezish... I was a bit taken aback by the news... then I find out another had a kid to that little tanned whorebag I hate so much. Well, I dont know if HE did or his brother did, because years ago I heard thru the grapevine that she was doing his brother as well. See.. whorebag. So, now, just for curiousity sake.. Im really wanting to know is it HIS or his brothers? Why? No reason. Doesnt impact me at all. But I saw a photo of the kid, and can not draw my own conclusion. Seriously, how do you sleep with a guy for years and not be able to recognize his (possible) kids photo? Sad isnt it? Oh well. Like I said, I dont really care, but I would love to have that bit of juicy news.

It seems everyone is having all these damn kids. And thats cool. If you want them. But, Im hoping that they grew up and became responsible people who can raise GOOD INTELLIGENT DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.... and thats probably not the case. After all whorebag is a nutjob with 5.. yep count them 5 kids... and to at least 3 different daddies... and one ex is has 2 kids with 2 different mamas, and then there is the other ex ... ah.. you get the point. The funny thing is... Im so not jealous, but a little bit sad for them. None of them seem to really be doing anything in life, except for a few, the biggest mission is staying out of jail. Yippee for your adult ass. Seriously, instead of making babies, how about you try to survive the world we live in, and once you can handle that... then THINK about bringing others into the world.

Ugh. Sometimes its all I can do to not reach thru the computer and slap my friends.

Turning Points in Life

2010-07-24T21:51:00.001+10:00

I had a birthday this week. Had a lovely bday, filled with a massive amount of well wishes & loving thoughts.

A few people were teasing me saying that Im gettin so much closer to the big 4-0… 40. who cares. Im 35 by the way, and to me, 40 is still 5 years away.. no need to worry about that one just yet.

Im loving being 35. I have great friends & family who are all very special to me. And, for the first year in a long time of milestones, Im not worrying constantly about my residency. As I now have that little stamp in my passport, its less to worry about and no longer putting strain on my life like it did for so many years. So, why wouldnt turning 35 be good? Seriously.

I have also been really happy with the results of my physio from the Italian Stallion, as well as Needle Nut, aka acupuncture. The two really know what to do. My legs feel fantastic (well, in comparison to the past) and I firmly believe that I am well on the way to a great recovery from this knee issue. Thank goodness I didnt sign up for that surgery, right? Yippee!

I had a fantastic cake this year:

Isnt it adorable? And it tasted really yummy as well! Thanks mom!

I wont get all mushy on you guys, but life is good. Im 35, and loving it.

Bounce

2010-07-18T20:48:00.001+10:00

I went out to eat Indian the other night with a friend. Partly, it was a nice way to toast goodbye to one of the internet boys… he was Indian. Nothing against Indians, but it was my sick twisted humor in going to eat Indian and secretly toasting goodbye to him… in style.

Upon coming home, I could feel my stomach start to explode. It was so full of air, it felt like I had grown a soccer ball within 10 minutes. Gas. Lovely. And goodness.. .they were not good smelling ones either! I would fart and have to walk away from the nastiness.

I make it to bed, laying in the fetal position holding my gassy tummy. Oh it hurt so bad. And it felt like no matter how much I would fart, it wouldnt be any better any time soon.

I toss & turn. Convinced Im ready to die. I finally lay on my back and get as comfy as I think I possibly can get in this pain.

And I let a ripper of a fart go. I knew it would be best to grab the blanket and wave it up and down to let the smell go from the sheets (as if you havent done that before, come on..) but I decide it probably smells too nasty to do that. So I just laid there…knowing what lurked under the sheets.

All of a sudden, Little Miss (who sometimes get called Tigger cuz she bounces all over the place when shes busy) jumps on the bed in such a spot that the damn doona waves and lets the nasty smell out… right to me…..

Lesson? Just air out the sheets..you just never know who is going to come bouncing on your bed, and then its just 3 times as bad…. seriously.

Little Miss… gotta love her!

What a fork of a day to be had!

2010-07-14T11:37:00.001+10:00

I would really enjoy a sneak peak into this book!

Although, Im a bit concerned about the ‘plate licking’ & ‘crowd pleasing’ comments, as usually anything on the invite that says those 2 bits usually scares me.

Of course, if ANY of you have a copy.. I would give you my neighbors for a look at the book!

Frightening

2010-07-13T12:31:00.001+10:00

On a popular networking site, I often see random photos of strangers. Why? Cuz Im bored.

Im amazed at how many people just let their photos be public for all to see. Personally, mine are private, so you have to be my friend in order to see them. But, not everyone does such things.

Enter me & boredom. Im sure Im not the only one who looks at strangers photos. For instance, when you go to find your long lost friend and you have to stumble through 32 names because its been that long since you last heard anything of your lost friend, that you have no clue where she might work or live. So, you see little ‘thumbnails’ of 32 people who MAY or MAY not be long lost friend. And, if your bored or wanting to escape the hell of work for a few minutes, you click on some profiles, and then enter PHOTOS. Amazing what people put up in the photo section. AMAZING.

However, today I stumble upon a ex boyfriend. And, while I cringe at the thought of his wirey redhead hairy self, I found his photo of he & his wife. Its ugly. er cute I mean. 2 lovebirds. Nah, its still ugly. I almost vomit that I slept his redhead self. Ick. Ick.

Got me thinking tho… I have stumbled upon a lot of profiles which have photos of only Mr & Mrs in a photo together. No photos of themselves, just the 2 of them. As if almost joined at the hips, forever in the shackles of ‘love’ or jealousy – its a fine line.

I dont know, just seems so many people have these photos of them & hunnylover .. as if the whole world will tilt the wrong way if they had their own identity.. er I mean photo.

Eh gads.. not your own photo?

2010-07-12T13:33:00.001+10:00

This card grabbed at my heart for oh so many reasons. In your most desolate times of life, you can almost feel the truth in another person. So many lives going parallel together, on the same spiral, learning similar things in life – about life – escaping life.

When you stare at yourself in the mirror analysing every inch of your face & body while experiencing the moments of meth, its amazing how truthful you can become with yourself.

Some experiences teach you more than you can imagine. Im so thankful for those days when I look back and see the close calls I put on my own life (and others) that I survived it all. I appreciate that I didnt die all those years ago. I appreciate the lessons I learned in life all those years ago.

(Postcard from : www.postsecret.com)

Dating Dramas

2010-07-11T21:56:00.001+10:00

After some much needed thinking on my ‘situation’ of the 2 prospects in my life at the moment.. I finally came to a decision.

Here where some highlights of what helped me come to my recent decision-

although its nice to hear from a guy, hearing from them 4 or 5 times a day when your just getting to know them is a bit much
when a guy is SO in to you that he keeps complimenting how gorgeous you are, how much he loves your smile, and then looks at your photo every day, you almost want to report him to the police for some sort of stalker personality trait
while speaking to someone and they keep saying ‘what else?’ after you have a conversation.. and you reply with ‘what else, what?’ you know its not going good. Nothing shits me more than somebody who just wants you to ramble on and then has nothing to contribute to the conversation other than ‘what else’
informing me of his work schedule for the next few days to let me know that he will have a difficult time ringing me, but he will try on his break. Dude… YOU DONT HAVE TO CALL ME EVERY BLOODY DAY. Its okay to have a day or two in between your ‘what else?’ thoughts
when you ask a guy about his ex and his kid.. and he responds to your answer, then follow ups and says.. “how about you?” and the only response you can give to that, is …. ‘i dont have an ex or a kid.. remember that being on my profile?’ you know the whole thing is doomed.

What else? hahahaha

So, I let him go. I told him the distance was too far to actually give any proper dedication to anything. He insisted we should still meet. He also told me it was good to be able to be honest with each other, its very important for a relationship, honesty.

After another 4 explanations of my time schedule (lets be honest, if I didnt have all these red flags and notable irritations it may have been a different story and MAY have been willing to meet) BUT … I say it again to him. He tells me he is listening. Right… ?

My response to his “ I am listening” is simply this: “I should hope so.” It was then that I wanted to just hang up.

Eventually, he threw me a bone. He told me that he wished me well, and although he wanted to meet and have some fun and see where a relationship could go, he wanted me to have a good life. Cool. Told him to have a good night, to which he responded with a very stern, “GOOD NIGHT” and then hung up.

Eh.. men. Strange.

Drops of Color

2010-07-11T20:19:00.001+10:00

If I wish it.. do they appear?

2010-07-06T20:52:00.001+10:00

So I was craving a bowl of cereal for dinner tonight.. and as I was standing in front of what would be a selection of MAYBE 30 different cereals… I realize that the one Im craving isnt there.

So, I figure… go with option 2. Next cereal craving.

I look over the selection about 10 times before realizing that I must look like one of those ‘special adults’ just staring at the selection of cereals. It was almost as I took a mini nap. I starred. I hunted. I read every box. Twice.

Nothing.

You know why? I was wanting THESE particular cereals.. really bad…

And then I realized.. Wrong country idiot.

So, I looked around to see if anyone could see me drooling and crying and carried on to grab the ONLY type of Cheerios available here…

Mind you, I like this one, but I so wanted to nibble on my Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios tonight and then have them as a snack tomorrow at work.

Oh well. But I did wonder exactly how long I stood there gazing at the boxes…? How embarrassing.

Whew..

2010-07-02T17:50:00.001+10:00

So Friday arrived, and work is done for a few days… thank goodness.

Its been interesting on the dating side of things.

Man 1 (M1) was married for 14 years
Man 2 (M2) was married as well.
M2 says hes been divorced at least 7 years or so. Funnily, his ex’s name is same as mine.. just spelled different.
Both have kids.. M1 has a young child. M2 has teenagers.
Both seem to be quite involved in sport.. same sport.. Soccer. Whew.. I like soccer.
M1 likes Cricket… if only he knew that I find it cute that the duck comes across the screen.. which apparently is a really bad thing in Cricket. Thats my knowledge or care factor there.
M1 seems very attentive.
M2 is giving me attention, but not everyday like M1
M1 lives further from me.

What to tell… I wont be meeting any of them this week.. M2 is going away for the week and we couldnt meet this week as he is sick. And, although hes getting better, or so he says, I was pretty adamant that not a chance in hell stood for he & I meeting while he was sick. M1 is going to take more effort.. hes further away, and not just a bit of a ways.. just over an hour away.. ugh. So.. maybe next weekend? Who knows..

Keep ya’ll posted.

Any questions my avid readers want me to ask either M1 or M2?

Is this what they will do tonight?

2010-07-01T14:41:00.001+10:00

I can only imagine.. just like the 30 Rock Episode.

And the award goes to…

2010-07-01T12:59:00.001+10:00

We have mice at work. Its inevitable. Its a factory, theres fields… its bound to happen.

What I dont like is them popping on my desk. Anywhere else but on my stuff. Im sure there are some nasty diseases I could get from them.. or infections or something.

Every now and then I see one run across the room or past the hallway… sometimes Im not sure if its an Acid Flashback from my younger years or if its really a mouse.

Im going with a mouse on that one.

I came to work this morning and those mice have been SO busy.. they def deserve the hardiest working employee award.. cuz I KNOW they have worked harder than most of the staff here.

Here is what they got into last night..

(look at all the nibble bits to get into the treats..)

(if you click the photo to make it larger.. you can see that there are 5 areas of different candy / chips they chunked into… and this was only a quick grab from the box… however, they didnt touch the Snickers… everything else, but the Snickers..

I just wish they would stop popping in my office. Eck. Poop ANYWHERE else you want.. just not my office!

The dating deal

2010-06-29T15:19:00.001+10:00

A few of you are interested in the dating game that I happen to be playing… well, not much time today to write, but thought I would give you a quick synopsis on things the past few days.

Said guy from post below & I make plans to speak the other day. I took your advice, and didnt want to push him off the bridge so quickly without REALLY having a valid reason, so I agreed to call him
on Said day, Said guy receives a text from me saying that I would be calling at Said time.. does that work?
Said guy responds with text saying he is out at the pub with mates and would get in contact with me tomorrow if that okay

Oh, this is not looking good here is it… I should have never listened to all of you ‘do- gooders and faithful in love people’

The Pub. With Mates. Eck.

Then.. tomorrow rolled around:

Said guy sends a text that he ‘ has had such a social 3 days that he has shut down and probably not good for a chat tonight’ and asks if he can call me tomorrow.
My immediate response is NO. YOU CAN NOT CALL ME TOMORROW. Afterall, we scheduled a tomorrow, and that be TODAY dumbass.. and you were too busy out drinking & socializing that no, I am unavailable to you at your desire of tomorrow….then I realize I have plans anyway, and the reality is tomorrow is NOT going to work for me as I made actual plans.
I respond to Said guy that Im busy and maybe the night after.

Are you glad I listened to you y’all who were so quick to defend his side?

Other news.. this Italian man contacted me.. well, Im pretty sure he is Italian. I have dreamt him to be delish-ous! with lots & lots of goodness. So.. keep you posted on that one.. and hes closer to my age, lives a bit further, and oh yeah.. has a kid.. but better than Said guy who has 2 kids…

Either way, Italian man seems to intrigue me a little…

Ciao

hehe

Its just almost 8pm

2010-06-28T19:54:00.001+10:00

I have turned the heat on in the house to take the chill out, and all rugged up in my pj’s and Im going to go lay in bed and drift into la-la land.

Why?

Because I live alone, and I can. And the cat has already warmed the foot part of the bed. Thats why.

Hope all is well in your worlds.

Me :)

At it again

2010-06-23T13:58:00.001+10:00

There are so many options. Too many choices. And yet, nothing which makes my heart go pitter patter. I have re-joined an internet dating website. Im not sure that I really want to be ‘dating’ but Im maybe, MAYBE ok with giving it a go. I mean, I would date, if it was the Right sort of guy. And while there are options of every social class, colors, heights, professions, marital status… etc… I just cant seem to find the Right sort of guy.

Grandma has always told me I am Picky. Now that shes older and loving being (hey, wait a minute.. how come the I before E except after C rule doesnt apply..I know why, but its funny that the slogan popped in my head there!). anyway. Grams loves being single. And so do I. But lets be honest. I need to get laid. And so, Im gonna be picky!

2010-06-23T13:12:00.001+10:00

I went to many schools as a kid. It seemed as if we moved a lot . A LOT. And each new home came with a new school. Here was ONE of my schools:

Its awkward to reminisce of days past. You think of all the places you have been, what you did, how you interacted with others, how much you have learned since those days… so on.

Its nice to know that I am comfortable with where I am now.

Im needing a fix

2010-06-21T15:26:00.001+10:00

Need my weekly fix…

when oh when will it show in THIS country?

Hmmm

2010-06-11T21:56:00.001+10:00

It was pointed out to me today that its been 17 years (June) that I graduated from High School. Holy Beejibbers… 17 years… wow.. that really flew by.

Here are a few snippets of what I have learned in 17 years since not being in High School (of course, its not everything, but I only have so much writing space so bear with me):

In no particular order of importance

I love my life
I know its important to enjoy life and live for what makes you content in your heart.. whatever that is
You will never live up to the expectations set forth upon you
You must live the path you choose, live it well
You can live a really nice comfortable and happy life without having to be married or attached to another person
I like making my own decisions.. however good or bad they may be
I do not have to like everyone
I do not need thousands of friends
I enjoy my quality & quantity of great friendships
I like spending time with my own company
I am strong & independent. If you dont like it, not my problem
If I dont like what I am doing, I can change it
If I dont want to change what I am doing, I have learned how to justify it…yep.
I love to travel & dive into new cultures. The whole armchair traveller is NOT me. Give me experiences, let me speak to the people, I want to know how they live, I want to see their world thru their eyes.. not a thru a cabana lounge or lonely planet
I spend money to travel rather than having the latest technology or newest car
I am loved
I love
I give my love to those who are worthy of it. No need to waste my gifts on those otherwise
I have learned to see who is worthy and who is not so worthy much quicker than I previously had
I value myself more and more each day
Its important to be honest, I cant lie for shit, and I dont really appreciate those who lie to themselves either
If you dont love yourself…then why the hell not? Who else is gonna otherwise?
I can have any job. I have had many jobs (just ask Sabrina.. she knows my resume) but as I get older, I give more thoughts to the ramifications of the economic condition before leaving one job for another
Learn to analyze things
Take risks
Proceed with caution
Somedays, run like hell towards whatever you choose. Dont think about it
You will get hurt in life. You need to learn to overcome it. Cry it out, and move on
Be true to yourself
Protect yourself
Find a moment each day that you can relish in and be in that moment, even if its just for a 30 second pause in your day
Take care of your car – wash it, polish it, love it
Out of sight, mostly out of mind.. it seems to be a general thing
Most people who you believe should never lie to you, will.
You can love a whole heap of people thru the years and still be happy that you come home to your house with just the cat waiting for you
I am educated and can have thought provoking conversations
I have true friends who know the real me
I have secrets
My experiences in life have not only taught me, but also others

Wow.. 17 years.. I always thought I had commitment issues, but after hearing that I have put 17 years into becoming the person I am, learning along the way, and showing the world what I am capable of as an independent adult… quite a good accomplishment if I do say so myself.

Funny thing is, I remember when I heard about the 5 year reunion… I laughed it off…today, the laughter was not my first response to the 17 years!

I can still remember those days. Filled with so much… of everything… and yet nothing… just new to the world… finding yourself… discovering the world…

And now, here i sit, ready to go to bed at 10 pm on a friday cuz work was crazy this week. Oh the times, they are a changing…

Its DONE!

2010-06-06T20:27:00.001+10:00

I feel very accomplished in my task this weekend! Although my original plan was to tackle this project in stages (due to finances and time), I went ahead and did it all over the weekend! A few minor body aches, a few scrapes on the legs, and finally free of white rock dust on my legs and face, and the project looks complete. I would like to add a few more lanterns and one day eventually get a nice big outdoor canvas to hang over the fountain… all in time!

Thanks to those who have popped by to see my project, and given it 2 thumbs up. I appreciate the kind words. And, Im in love with my new front courtyard!

Have a look…

The last photo is from the upstairs bedroom looking down onto the courtyard.. just for you Tilda…

A Weekend of Aches

2010-06-05T18:56:00.001+10:00

For quite some time I have wanted to redo my front courtyard. It was the basic look of concrete. Blah. Vanilla. Same as the others. I had this great plan in mind, and with all hopes that it would work, I shared my idea amongst friends to see if it would be tacky looking or as nice as it was in my head.

I headed off to the store where they had some of my supplies needed. Costings. Done. Need Rock. Costings. Done. Finances… not so much.

After months of looking at my courtyard as it was:

This is the view from my front door (above)

This is my courtyard section (above)

This is the view from the gate to my front door (above)

So, after this magnificent idea in my head of what I wanted the area to look like, I finally bit the bullet and started on the project. I figured that although I couldnt really afford to do it all at once, I would do what I could and then get more rocks when I could. I knew the rocks would be spendy for the project, so I figured it would be done in a long drawn out process.

WRONG.

I bought my 18 packs of deck/wood materials which I needed. I bought 2 bags of rocks, to make sure that the white color (it was a toss up between white or black rocks, but black rocks are much MUCH more expensive) and I was on my way.

I was so excited to begin the transformation, that I started in the late afternoon yesterday after getting off of work and buying my items. I was determined to give it a go.

Here was the first photo after some gruelling body aches of bending down and picking up the decking material.

Not bad eh!

Morning came, and so did some unusual aches in my body. I guess when your bending down and over and picking up and transporting.. it was something my body hadnt been use to in awhile.

So, I began right away this morning. Ok, not right away, but at a respectable time so that my horrid… eck I mean wonderful neighbors would not have a right to bitch.

I then realize its looking good. But, Im also realizing I didnt get enough decking materials, even with the extra pack Tilda told me to get. Shit. What to do. I also had an issue with the length of the walkway and the size of the decking material. It was either going to be just a tad too short or hang out the bottom of the gate. What to do…. so you compromise. And then, after all this hard work, I started questioning whether or not it looked as nice as I thought it did. I think some of the questioning was in part ‘oh my gawd, I did this by myself… is it really THIS DAMN GOOD?’

Whats a girl to do? I had most of it done. Well, with what I could, I wanted more decking material to finish it to how I had modified my original plans of the area. And, I wanted more rock. I wanted this baby finished. But, I was still unsure if it looked ok. See, I can justify anything. I mean ANYTHING. And, I was hoping that I wasnt sacrificing the aesthetics of the area just because my plan was now a bit different than the original plan. So, I called Tilda. She wasnt really thrilled about coming over as she had her own projects to do. But, after enough guilt trips (she attended Catholic School, so I knew they would work) and I think a bit of whining on my part, she succumbed to my begging and promised to drop by.

In the meantime, I ran to the local landscape store to get 6 more bags of rocks. As much as I originally thought I would do the rocks in a process, it was looking much to nice to not finish it.

Tilda arrives. She is really happy with the results so far. I tell her modifications, and she agrees that it will look nice. Whew! I really was glad to hear that she not only liked how it was looking, but thought my adjustments would look nice as well! She helped me spread 2 bags of rocks, and a well deserved coffee break was had.

As of tonight, my body aches in places I forgot were there. Such as my butt checks. And my thighs. And my quads. And my arms. Its almost reminiscent of days gone by of great wild sex. But its not…

Its the glory of an ALMOST done project… to be continued tomorrow. And, for those of you curious… I put down 7 bags of 20 kg rocks. Oh my goodness. Thats a workout! But, here is what it looks like…

What a difference! Dad even called tonight to tell me how much he liked it. He sounded really pleased, and impressed! Always good when the landlords like what you have done with the place.

As for me, I am off to the tub. I hear epsom salts screaming my name!

Tell me your thoughts? Is it better than before? Do you like it? Remember, its not quite finished… YET.

Life is good :P

2010-05-30T21:17:00.001+10:00

Life is good :P

Days of Past

2010-05-30T19:27:00.001+10:00

When I was a kid I had so much fun with these little things. Our yard was full of them, and that was probably due to me blowing them all over the yard.. hehe. opps!

I have just discovered that my ex-fiancé has gotten married. And they are pregnant. WHAT THE FUCK? Serious?

Let’s get something straight before we go ANY further: I live in a diff country than he does. I have no feelings like that love crap towards him anymore. I was told by a dear friend that he felt I was ‘settling’ if I married said person. I ended the relationship, not the other way around. We caught up once, and it was apparent that no love was lost from either of us. I still smoked, that shit him and he still had some stupid arrogance about him that shitted me. So, this news isnt awkward to me cuz Im still in love or any of that crap.

But, when you make plans to share a life with someone, it still impacts you a little bit. It is weird to think that he is with someone else. It was supp to be my dream with him. Not HERS. Granted, it ended up not being a dream, more of a drain on my life.. but still.. the point is its strange to hear the news about your ex.

And than there is that part of me that goes.. Im still single. Hes not. No biggie. I actually LOVE being single. I havent stumbled upon anyone who really has changed my mind. Until they walk into my life, Im so in love with my life as a single person, and 100% happy with the choices I have made to stay single.

But holy shit, said person done got married, having ANOTHER kid… wow. Our lives are so different. The things that we ended up with or wanting are so different. It makes you wonder what the 2 of us saw as common in the first place. He said he wanted to travel. I love to travel. I have, he hasnt. Kids were never discussed really (we were young) and it was one of those things that if it happened, it was the way it was to be. But, now he has a kid by some accident (or so he told me of a drunken night with a girl he hates) and now hes gotten this one preggers. And married her.

Wow.

Our lives have taken way different journeys.

Thank goodness I am on the path I am on. So, said person, I wish you well. I wish you happiness and contentment in your life. I hope you find everything you were looking for (and lost).

Rainy Days

2010-05-29T17:31:00.001+10:00

It was a perfect rainy type of day here. It rained most of last night and until just after 8ish this morning. I had actually gotten to sleep in a bit this morning too. Nothing like hearing rain drops to keep you in bed on a saturday morning!

After a few adventures for the day, I settled in for a movie. I picked up the movie “Henry Lee Lucas”. I was in the video store wandering thru a bunch of titles and came across this movie. I picked it up in my hands, and it instantly reminded me of reading the book – as a teenager. It was gruesome and full of anything you wanted, to take your imagination to various depths.

I really liked stories about crime back then (still do). I remember wanting to be a crime forensics investigator or a lawyer … anything along those lines. I was intrigued by WHAT made people do certain things. I was bewildered HOW some people thought. I was amazed by the REASONS people gave for doing things.

When I read about Henry Lee Lucas, I was still in high school. The book told of his life and his murders that he committed. Some of the murders were with a man named Otis Toole. Others, he committed solely by himself. He confessed to over 3000 murders in the USA, but many people didnt really believe that he killed most of them. Some people thought it was for the thrill of being given attention, something Henry Lee Lucas hadnt had as a child. Some people are really convinced that he killed all those people. Whatever the case, he is known for being one of the most notorious Serial Killers to this day.

Whether he actually killed all those people or not will only be known to him. It is certain that he killed his mother when she was 64 years of age. As for the others, its really a mystery. He was sentenced to death in Texas. Otis was sentenced to six life sentences in Florida.

So.. back to the movie store.. while the video is in my hands, I get this urge to want to see the movie. What would I have forgotten? What was it about this story that intrigued me at the library to read it? And then, the thought of ‘shit this is messed up and I read it as a kid?’ came into my head too.

I rented it. Got home and watched it. There were a few things I had forgotten about in the story. I must admit, it was a good movie. Mr. Antonio hunkalot is in it too… as Henry Lee Lucas!

At the end of the movie, it states that Otis died in prison and that one of the Presidents of the Bush entourage changed Henry Lee Lucas’ sentence to life in prison. He died in a Texas prison in 2001. Somehow, during the movie, I still couldnt come up with a verdict on whether or not he did indeed kill all those people. I remember reading the book thinking he must of, but I was a bit naive at the time too due to age. So, I guess it still remains a bit of a mystery.

Now you want to?

2010-05-26T10:24:00.001+10:00

I dont really like to do jump on the celebrity bandwagon and blog about it, but when I stumbled upon this photo, I feel the need to say something.

First off, its Miley Cyrus (sp?) and her dad Billy Ray. Some may be more familiar with this description: its the dad who whored out his kid so he could still have money. Daddy spent all his money from that achey breaky heart ‘tune’ doing all sorts of things, and once his daughter was old enough to exploit (he watched McCauley Caulkins family and decided to wait a few more years then they did) daddy threw the kid into the spotlight and renamed her. Hannah Montana.

It sickens me how many people know this crap. It sickens me that I know this crap. It sickens me more that the guy at my local IGA deli was telling me about his kids fascination with the show and music of H.M.

Do I look like I care? No. NO. NO. Anyway, back to the funny… so while daddy & moneytree are wandering the beach and moneytree is wearing a skimpy bikini (of course, NOT looking for attention or anything) daddy FINALLY becomes protective…. have a looksy:

Isnt that cute? After all that exploitation, err, um… advancement of your kids career, you FINALLY decide to get serious and point at people with that stern look. Cracks me up! I am sure he will now try to charge, err, um, ask his kid for more financial support, err, um rent due to his great bodyguard techniques.

I am in love

2010-05-24T13:30:00.001+10:00

all over again!

I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a weber grill. I had one years ago, but not for the last 10 years that I have lived in this country.

So I was set that I was going to get me a grill. A charcoal grill. One to love & to make me happy. One to have my tastebuds satisfied each time.

I did get a Weber (very important) and although I was set on getting a standard standing Weber, I walked out the door with this one:

Its perfect and I am in love! I can take it with me to the beach, out by the pool, to a friends place, or tuck it in the garage so that it stays in good condition and doesnt make my backyard look cluttered… cuz there is no giant BBQ standing around!

I had the best piece of chicken in YEARS. Mouthwatering! Oh, did I forget to mention its a charcoal grill? LOVING THIS!

Stick it there please

2010-05-23T21:01:00.002+10:00

So, I am going to acupuncture and physio to help my knees and avoid surgery. So far, good progress. However, the last few weeks, I seem to have this feeling where I want to grab my foot and pull it behind me up to my ear. To stretch my muscles in my leg. I just can not get satisfied with a normal stretch. And, lets be honest, I can not, under any circumstances bend my foot to my ear behind me.

Today I had an acupuncture appt. I told my situation and although its not a setback, its not progressing like we all wish it would. Ugh.

Over 50 needles into my legs today. The needles look something like this:

And then for more effectiveness, we have this machine which attaches to 12 of the needles to create a stronger effect. Its similar to a TENS machine in that it pulses and can be adjusted with the levels of strengths or weakness to which is most comfortable.

So, my legs look like this colorful picture:

I couldnt feel one of the pulses connected to the needle. She would turn it up a bit more. Nothing. Bit more. Nothing. More. Nothing. Mind you, the other needles attached to the machine were pulsing away to the most strength I could have handled for the 25 minutes duration. Except this one. So, she cranks it up… a bit too much and sends my arms waving, blood rushing to my head and a slight scream came out to which she panicked and turned it down. Hilarious. Probably doesnt sound hilarious, but when your waiting for the sensation to happen, and you get nodda.. and then you do and its way more powerful than you expected or can handle, holy sheet… mama look out! We finally got it sorted and at the right strength, but not after both of us had a minor heart attack. Remember, my legs are FULL of needles and I can not move them.

Goodness!

Well, we will see if 50 needles in the leg does any wonders this week. They are feeling wonderful at the moment, so can only go one day at a time. As I am learning, this is not going to be a quick process. However, its not as painful as it use to be. I can walk much better and stronger than I could before, and its really nice to not buckle at the knees for no reason now. One day at a time folks. One day at a time.

Just a little bit homesick

2010-05-22T20:28:00.001+10:00

I am a bit homesick at the moment.

Why? I am homesick for what use to be. I was listening online to my ‘old radio station from back home’ and while quietly giggling to myself about how some of the people who called in on the station sounded Oh So MinnESOOOOTAN, the radio station announced a concert coming up. In July.

Right around the time of my birthday.

It brought back the idea of what I could be doing on my birthday. If I was back home. I imagined we would pack up the cars and head to the campsite and party hard to the 80’s hair bands which were playing the weekend of my birthday. Just like we use to do in the olden days. It didnt matter who was with who. Where you were sleeping, or even if you had a tent of your own. You knew you could fall into someones tent at the end of the party and all would be fine. You would wake up, start the bonfire, and then make your way to the concerts after you had your breakfast and chatted about all the stuff that happened once you passed out.

Good times. Great memories. Thats what makes me homesick today. Thinking of back then. Some of the bands who are playing are: Dust n Bones (tribute band), Warrant, Winger (remember them!), LA Guns, Blimp, Vince Neil, Tesla (OMG!) and Dokken. Ah, I can just imagine the moments to be had that weekend.

To add to the fire, my friend wrote on that gawdforbidden networking site how she drove past our old apartment, and couldnt help but think of all the memories of that place. And that was one wild place. I think the neighbors were glad to see my lease up. Or did I get kicked out? ha. just kidding. It brought tears to my eyes reading her words.

But, life is different now. Im different. But yet Im the same. I miss the ability to do those things here in this country. Yeah, to a point I can still go camping (amongst the dunes with snakes) and listen to bands (most of them I have no clue who they are) but its different. Its different than getting together with the gang and screaming out “shes my cherry pie” and “kickstart my heart” with your best friends who have seen you thru thick and thin (and probably helped get me into most of the thick spots).

Its just a passing thing. I think its healthy to some point to be homesick. It helps remind you of all sorts of things. Memories. Moments. Friends. Drama. Blah blah blah. You get the point. And really, its probably only because its near my birthday and all that makes me feel this way. Knowing what could have been, and where most of them will be that weekend. Hopefully, they party hard, and think of me.

One of those days

2010-05-18T21:16:00.001+10:00

I have shed tears after a days work in a long time. They werent painful tears, but tears of complete exhaustion. I had absol no more to give. In fact, I wanted to cry at my desk at work. Frustrated and wanting to just throw something (out of my character) I had a few moments were I said my peace, loudly, and one of the times it just so happened the boss heard. Normally, I would have tried to compose myself. Or, IF I really wanted to say my bit, I would have made sure the boss wasnt there so I could just vent. But I had no more to give. I didnt care if he heard me. Honestly, you reach that point where you just think, “F**K it, deal with it, you dont like it, well today I dont give a shit. You need to know how this is going”

And he heard.

And pretended like nothing was happening. In fact, in some bizarre twist to my day, he went and screwed with EVERYTHING I had organized for a smooth sailing at work tomorrow. You know, deliveries scheduled and contacted; drivers booked for particular jobs; employees knowing what was happening so that everyone was properly informed; etc.

Im not sure if I bruised his ego or he was shitty with my comments, and this was his way of getting back at me. I dont know. And I almost didnt care. I had, for lack of better terms, given up for the day. I was fighting every urge in me to not lay in the fetal position at work and cry myself into a nice calming place. I dont get like that often, and for those of you who read this that know me in real life, you know that I had reached my peak. I can not give anymore. I couldnt muster a nice word or smile. I couldnt hear another bullshit reason for anything.

So, I left work 15 minutes past my normal knock off time. I got to the end of the street (ironically, there is a cemetery at the corner) and turned right and let the tears flow.

My salvation tonight was one man.

This man:

Thank you Captain!

One would think I should know by now…

2010-05-18T11:13:00.001+10:00

So, the guy at work who is supp to be in charge of things tells me to cancel the phone account for the cell phones. I wait 3 weeks after he tells me. Often times, he says things on a whim, and then decides to not do the task, making me do the job unnecessarily or waste precious time doing something which later gets the axe. For example, pulling data for the last 4 months regarding a particular project, then to decide, the info isnt necessary, a guess by someone who HAS NO INVOLVEMENT in the situation will provide figures. Eh.

So, I send him on the mission to wait on the phone line for approx 30 minutes all so he can cancel the phones. See, I have waited the approx timeline and apparently he still wants to cancel them. But, in the meantime, I have a heap of other tasks to do, so I ask if he wants to sit on the phone and wait for the non-understandable person to help us cancel the account.

He thinks he has become the new super hero. Great! Certainly! Not A Problem! So, he calls the company exactly 8 days ago. Apparently, according to him, we dont have an account with the phone company anymore. He is thrilled and protruding out his chest at such good work and such a simple task completed. By him.

So, 8 days later, the phones still work. What the? I call the phone company today and after a few minutes, they tell me that I need to fax a letterhead and so forth. Now, Im on hold with the cancellation department. I have enquired about our May 10 phone call which states that we didnt have an account, and that I certainly dont want any cancellation fees from this. (Our contract actually ended on the 13 & 15th). This little tasks has had me on hold for 14 minutes and 36 seconds so far. Eh.

Why didnt I learn in the first place that the job would not have been completed in full to an acceptable term? Why oh why, did I think ONE BLOODY TASK COULD BE HANDLED WITHOUT A HASSLE? STupid!

Bird Spotting

2010-05-15T21:15:00.001+10:00

All pictures are property of the owner of this blog. Copying, Saving, or using without written permission of me (owner of blog) will get you hung in a tree and most likely cost you a bucket load of money. Well, just enough to buy a holiday around the world, for the rest of my life!

Saturday Snippets

2010-05-15T20:59:00.001+10:00

So, today brought me to a great day off! The weather was gorgeous, and I was so in love with having time to just be. I wandered to a small town which was hosting a “body art” festival. I had been in previous years, but heard this year was to bigger and better than before. WRONG. It was still good to see people showcasing their talent, but as for bigger. No. WRONG. Instead of the previous years where there was ample room for spectators as well as the artists to walk the area and look at the event, the organizers put them in one area. Similar to a corral, spectators could only see if the person if front of decided to move or leave their area. And, you couldnt stand there for an amount of time and watch the creation unfold, because you were being nudged in the back by people trying to get around the event. Oh, did I forget to mention that while this event was on, the usual Saturday markets (which draws 1000’s of people on a busy) was also on. Einstein move? Not so much. More like Charlie Brown.

Either way, it was still good to be there and support it. Will I be going back next year? Im not sure. This year sort of turned me off the whole thing. If I can not stand and enjoy the artists work and watch the talent of the creation before unfold as a story, Im not sure I need to see it. I will just read about it the paper. Afterall, the photos the journos take will probably be better than what I can see from my 4th person deep, tippy toe raised viewing spot. All because some organizer couldnt keep it the way it was before. Look, if its working, why change it? Serious.

I did get a few shots of the event. I couldnt be bothered cropping or touching anything up for any of you. BUT, please remember, These photos are listed to my rights. Copyrighted for my own use. Any copying or saving for your own use without my written permission is ILLEGAL.

OK. Now that the mean parts done…

What a great idea! Certainly were a huge hit, there was a line up for these things.

Corset.. complete with FULL toe stockings!

I LOVED photographing this girl.. she had such great energy about her.. from the makeup to the hair to the look in her eyes… but I only took a few, I didnt want her to think I was stalking her!

So.. which one do you think is best?

How Nice…

2010-05-13T09:31:00.001+10:00

Originally, I lived in Minnesota. I now live in the ‘land down under’.

In Minnesota, there was always this saying once people knew from other states knew you were from there. They would all say… “Oh, Minnesota Nice” cuz if you listen to the hype, and stumble upon a few good ol Minnesotans… you kinda feel like you have known them your whole life. Whether you wanted to or not, we are just that damn nice that they gave us a special term.

Minnesota Nice

Sometimes I have seen this extend to stopping in the middle of the your hurried drive home in a blizzard to help a fellow motorists get his car back on the road rather than the giant 10 foot snowbank its stuck in, –10 degrees windchill… you get the idea

Sometimes, the lady you run into whom you havent seen for years asks “How are you” and actually gives a shit. She stands there long enough to listen. With concern, she may even ask a few more questions about you since you last saw each other.

Sometimes, a Minnesotan will offer to pick up your relatives at the airport (even tho they have never met them) and if the Minnesota Nice really comes out, might get an invite for dinner (casserole or def a meat and potatoes kinda thing) or the classic "you dont need to get a hotel room, heck Joe, your family can stay at our place, plentya room for ‘em all”.

Anyway, you get the point. Where I come from its just plain nice. Nice folks. Nice cattle. Nice pets. Nice everything. I sometimes believe its due to the winter lasting forever that our brains freeze in that Nice mode… we dont know any better.

So, I move to Australia. The land down under. Here is the biggest thing that really, i mean REALLY shits me. Always has. But for some reason this week, its just irking underneath my skin.

Scenario: Im at work. Pass a fellow co-worker (using the term lightly here) for the first time of the day.

Me: “Morning (name), how are you?”

It: “Hi, hows things?” and walks away.

WHAT? Now: A- you didnt respond to the question asked. And then, B- you ask me a question and then leave sight.

Now, in MN, we would pull you up for being rude. Not answering a question is just plain rude. Walking away after asking a question is liable to get you shot by a hunting rifle in MN. And, in MN, we would probably follow you around (while you were walking away from us) to answer YOUR question to us. For goodness sakes, we dont want to be seen as rude, and you asked us a question, therefore, goes to reason you were looking for an answer.

Here? Here its the norm! Im not sure if it cuz they dont really care how I am, or if they have super slack listening and communicating skills, or if they are just plain RUDE.

But, for this week, its really shitting me. And so today I gave it back to them. I asked a question about them, and walked away before they could answer it. I figure if I do it to those who do it to me, thats alright. But, Im not gonna get rid of this MN NICE… Im just going to bring it out for good, nice, and kind people… and for those who shower…. and wear cologne or perfume rather than adorn their body with smelly clothes and funky BO smells. Yep. Thats the plan. Keep the MN NICE for people who deserve it.

So, tell me… “HOW ARE YOU?”

Goodness

2010-05-11T19:43:00.001+10:00

EEEEE GAAADS!

I have neglected this blog for a bit, and for that Im sorry. Back to the grind of it!

Work has been bizarre, crazy & insanely frustrating at the best of moments. Selling? Yes. No. Yes. No. Overprice ourselves. Ask too much money. Try to salvage our ‘good name reputation’ due to a variety of circumstances. Sell NOW. Wait. Hurry to get information. No. No sale.

Then, in the same breath, maybe a workable agreement. ? Seriously, what the heck is going on? How am I supp to manage all this? There is the part of me that wants to go elsewhere, but due to some travelling commitments and visitors coming, if I can hold out until the new year, it would be great. If they could hold out until then, thats great too. But then the stress and frustration comes and I just want to pack it up that day.

Maybe most of us feel that way about work? I dont know. Im so baffled by all the latest developments, or lack of developments, that I think my head is just spinning with it all.

Went to the PT today and was great. Painful – on slightly. Good news is that my biking is going well for my recovery of my knees. We had grinding yet, but its better than it was. Good news, it was 3 weeks since my last appt so its good to know that my progress is actually going somewhere positive! And, my change in how I am doing things with my knees, walking, etc is working. Lots of work, but hey, has to be done. Surgery is not an option that I like, and with the progress I can see and FEEL, I am pleased that I hadnt booked in for surgery when it was suggested.

I have done a bit of home redecorating and loving it. Nothing major, but a few adjustments which I really like. And special thanks to my fantastic friends who donated 2 gorgeous and comfy chairs to the ‘InALittleMinute Redecoration Fund’. They even came with footstools… Monroe is loving it. Although the first 2 days she had difficulties with the new chair. See, it replaced the recliner which was big and chunky, with a sleek chair. Monroe previously loved to sit on the back of the recliner and take naps… imagine the first jump onto the new sleek chair and not work… yep.. Monroe did this clumsy half ass ‘save myself’ jump and landed about 2 feet away from the chair. Not once. Not twice. FOUR times. Each followed by a nasty ass chewing directing straight at me. Luckily, I think I have convinced her the footstool is more comfy. We will see… she likes to make up her own mind on things. All in time.

In fact, Im still waiting for her to fall madly in love with the sheepskin rug I bought for her. Still waiting. Now, when I look at the rug on the couch (its not really a rug, but a large square) all I see is a blaring large price stating $32.50 wasted! Damn it. I try to convince myself she lays on it when Im at work. Trying. Instead, I only see her hide her plastic mice under there and then charge at it to uncover her loved mouse and fling it in the air.

How do you make a cat understand that its not a toy, its supp to comfy for her. Ugh.

I have had a few good bits of news these past few weeks:

friend coming to visit for a holiday
booked a holiday… RELAXING holiday
progress going well on my knees
put the shoe shelf together
packed away some clothes in the closet

So, all in all, I think this is going to be a really good year. My birthday is coming up .. in July… but somehow it seems as people have these targets set for people when they reach a certain age.

Milestones.

Kids, house, hubby, picket fence…. etc

My milestones: great life, lots of love, fantastic friends & family, stability in my own thoughts,… all sorts of things that make me think Im on the right track. And, my milestones are going quite fine. I certainly dont need to follow the norm of the milestones society sees fit. Afterall, I do like to rebel a bit.

So, Im back on the blog. Trust me. See you tomorrow.

Oh, How I Have Missed You.